Dealing with your Ex-Spouses New Girlfriend or Boyfriend

[Anonymous]

OP is nasty AF. No wonder he divorced her.

NP. You are a piece of work who should get in therapy to figure out why you are so cruel.

[Anonymous]

Mine has had two GFs since I left him. He brought my kid around the first one a lot when he was younger and kid still does not realize they were GF/BF. Second one he has not met. Both of them were nice people whom my not nice ex was using to bolster his narcissism. First one was older divorced woman in her 40s who figured it out after less than a year. Second was younger hopeful women in her 30s who thought her ship had come in didn’t realize he’s a con artist for 2 years.

He chooses nice people to cater to and serve him while he exploits and cons them. So I know at least the GFs will be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine has had two GFs since I left him. He brought my kid around the first one a lot when he was younger and kid still does not realize they were GF/BF. Second one he has not met. Both of them were nice people whom my not nice ex was using to bolster his narcissism. First one was older divorced woman in her 40s who figured it out after less than a year. Second was younger hopeful women in her 30s who thought her ship had come in didn’t realize he’s a con artist for 2 years.

He chooses nice people to cater to and serve him while he exploits and cons them. So I know at least the GFs will be nice.

I am a NP divorcing a man with NPD (trust me) and this is how I tend to imagine it will be for me (an empath who saw his brokenness and thought I could love him back to normalcy for far too long)

Curious if you wrote first write of refusal into the agreement or any other tips you may have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine has had two GFs since I left him. He brought my kid around the first one a lot when he was younger and kid still does not realize they were GF/BF. Second one he has not met. Both of them were nice people whom my not nice ex was using to bolster his narcissism. First one was older divorced woman in her 40s who figured it out after less than a year. Second was younger hopeful women in her 30s who thought her ship had come in didn’t realize he’s a con artist for 2 years.

He chooses nice people to cater to and serve him while he exploits and cons them. So I know at least the GFs will be nice.

I am a NP divorcing a man with NPD (trust me) and this is how I tend to imagine it will be for me (an empath who saw his brokenness and thought I could love him back to normalcy for far too long)

Curious if you wrote first write of refusal into the agreement or any other tips you may have?

I didn’t. He barely uses his custodial time so it hasn’t been an issue.

There is also the wrinkle that he’s a really heavy drinker and I don’t think it’s only around me. So I’m expecting that to be an issue for future GFs as well. For the longest time I didn’t think it was a problem but eventually I realized it was affecting his mood and behavior even though he is “high functioning”.

[Anonymous]

I am the OP. I am coming back to this post to share that it is getting easier. Thank you for all your comments and feedback.

[Anonymous]

It’s apples to oranges. Even though I love my stepmom, there is nothing that can compare to a birth parent. Similarly, my kids love my husband but no one will ever replace their dad. Don’t worry OP.

Also, it’s only been a year, give yourself more more time to grieve and process. Men are notoriously bad at this which is why they tend to rush into new relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s apples to oranges. Even though I love my stepmom, there is nothing that can compare to a birth parent. Similarly, my kids love my husband but no one will ever replace their dad. Don’t worry OP.

Also, it’s only been a year, give yourself more more time to grieve and process. Men are notoriously bad at this which is why they tend to rush into new relationships.

A birthparent is someone who places their child for adoption, not this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you read my question? Because your answer is completely non-responsive.

She gave you great advice. You're jealous and, I sus, still in love with your ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I made that comment because your response was in fact non-responsive. I had to go back and read my question because I thought I had framed it incorrectly. I was not trying to be nasty. I am genuinely trying to see if my feelings were something others felt. And PP, I assume my ex-husband wanted to leave for his vacation and he didn't want to be inconvenienced by waiting for the nanny.

Don't come on DCUM if all you want is to be coddled and told you are right. People tell you what they think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP is nasty AF. No wonder he divorced her.

NP. You are a piece of work who should get in therapy to figure out why you are so cruel.

NP. The truth can be cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you last three posters. I appreciate these comments. I was beginning to think I was mean and nasty And I am seeing a therapist and I am getting little better each week.

Good. 🙂 Try to focus on that.

She's new and may be a novelty. You're still Mom.