Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent. I'm a member of a Buy Nothing group, which has been very useful, both for giving away items that are no longer wanted, and gaining things from neighbors. I get that part of the idea is to "build community," (which does organically happen in some cases), but mostly the point is...we want stuff out of our house. I don't see anything wrong with that.

We've had a few posts flag recently where the person offering posts the item, someone replies "Interested," and the person offering says something like, "It's yours! Sending you a PM now." Then the admin comes on and blah blah blahs about how you should--and I really do quote--"let items 'simmer' so that more people have a chance to be picked" and I'm like--I'm not "picking," I'm getting rid of stuff to someone who promptly says they want it. What is the problem. The admin also says things like, "Write a bit about why you want the item and how you would use it." I don't care if someone wants the Elsa doll for their daughter, son, neighbor, or church play room, I just want it gone to someone who will use it! Ugh.

Seriously ever few posts, the admin is on there, getting her rocks off about "do this" and "don't do that." It's ruining a good thing.

The simmering rule is ridiculous. I had something that I needed out of my house before the replacement item was delivered. I got my hand slapped by both admins for not letting my item "simmer". F them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am very uncomfortable with this aspect of Buy Nothing. I don't want to choose who is most worthy. I pick the first response or the person physically nearest me.

The only reason I use Buy Nothing more than Freecycle is that Freecycle has a delay while a moderator reviews your post, and sometimes I'm trying to get stuff gone on the weekends.

You just need to put all that in your first post. "Simmering for 24 hours, must pick up by X date. If more than one person responds, I will pick a random number."

I have been ghosted by FCFS SO many times on BN. It really doesn't get rid of your items faster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

We are in the same groups and I agree. It was nice to see that post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow that dynamic of deciding who is most deserving of your old stuff is unbelievably unappealing! I’m happy it works for the people who like that style but I’m with you, op-would seek another format.

You don't have to pick the most deserving. You can do a random number pick. The point is to give others an opportunity to reply. The expectation is that not everyone is tethered to FB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the official rule is your supposed to consider that, but ultimately its your choice how you gift.

Anyway someone started a Take My Kids Shit group in my neighborhood and now most people are on there.

I really hope that is the name of the group bc that is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow that dynamic of deciding who is most deserving of your old stuff is unbelievably unappealing! I’m happy it works for the people who like that style but I’m with you, op-would seek another format.

You don't have to pick the most deserving. You can do a random number pick. The point is to give others an opportunity to reply. The expectation is that not everyone is tethered to FB.

Funny how not-"random" those "random" picks can be sometimes, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Are those the rules of your buy nothing?

Mine does not have that rule but we were supposed to read and agree to rules when we joined the group.

These are the rules of all buy nothings.

We have a spin off group in my neighborhood that plays much looser with the rules and is much more enjoyable.

Not mine. I just verified and we do not need to let anything “simmer”. People do all sorts of things on my group. They can do first come first serve, first to reply, first to pick up, random pics, person to get her number. And in my group people don’t plead their case it’s mostly people saying interested.

Simmering is a guideline, not a rule, but yes it is meant to apply to all BN groups. https://buynothingproject.org/guidelines

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then this is not the group for you. Use Freecycle or post free on marketplace. But Nothing groups want you to let things simmer for at a minimum a few hours so the greedy ones don’t get everything and you can pick someone that maybe hasn’t ever been picked.

Just leave the group and set your stuff on the curb then.

+1

If everyone went with FIRST or INTERESTED the same handful of hoarders would take everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow that dynamic of deciding who is most deserving of your old stuff is unbelievably unappealing! I’m happy it works for the people who like that style but I’m with you, op-would seek another format.

You don't have to pick the most deserving. You can do a random number pick. The point is to give others an opportunity to reply. The expectation is that not everyone is tethered to FB.

Funny how not-"random" those "random" picks can be sometimes, though.

Yeah, I’m the PP who left after being uncomfortable with the selection process. I do not believe the people who claimed they picked randomly. It obviously wasn’t random, and what is worse, the fact they claimed they were using a random number generator showed that they knew they were wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

I’m sorry, but the “let it simmer” rule is just power tripping insanity. There is no chaos prevented by that.

No, it's not. It's for people who can't be on Facebook all the time. We have a lot of nurses and teachers in our group who can't sit on FB like some other members. They'd never get chosen if it was always FCFS.

So it is a rule designed mostly to help white women.

Huh? You don't make sense. Are you implying non white women are sitting at home all day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

We are in the same groups and I agree. It was nice to see that post.

I think I'm in your group too though and it hasn't been the same since the second controversial split (the one that made the sign). The BN overlords made the groups artificially too small IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

I’m sorry, but the “let it simmer” rule is just power tripping insanity. There is no chaos prevented by that.

No, it's not. It's for people who can't be on Facebook all the time. We have a lot of nurses and teachers in our group who can't sit on FB like some other members. They'd never get chosen if it was always FCFS.

So it is a rule designed mostly to help white women.

Huh? You don't make sense. Are you implying non white women are sitting at home all day?

Teachers are demographically majority white women. Nurses less so now, but still significantly white women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

We are in the same groups and I agree. It was nice to see that post.

I think I'm in your group too though and it hasn't been the same since the second controversial split (the one that made the sign). The BN overlords made the groups artificially too small IMO.

Yep, while BN Rosemont is enormous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then this is not the group for you. Use Freecycle or post free on marketplace. But Nothing groups want you to let things simmer for at a minimum a few hours so the greedy ones don’t get everything and you can pick someone that maybe hasn’t ever been picked.

Just leave the group and set your stuff on the curb then.

+1

If everyone went with FIRST or INTERESTED the same handful of hoarders would take everything.

I don't understand why that matters.

[Anonymous]

Agree, our group is like that. I usually pick based on other people giving stuff away vs. someone just constantly taking.