Buy Nothing/sale group admins who get off on nonsensical 'rules'

[Anonymous]

I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

[Anonymous]

I love the N Arlington group. If you need something gone now you label it a speed gift. If not, let it simmer and then decide how you want to decide who gets it. The system seems to work.

I think Buy Nothing nationwide has a general set of guidelines. Of course probably every group handles it a bit differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

I’m sorry, but the “let it simmer” rule is just power tripping insanity. There is no chaos prevented by that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting. Are those the rules of your buy nothing?

Mine does not have that rule but we were supposed to read and agree to rules when we joined the group.

These are the rules of all buy nothings.

We have a spin off group in my neighborhood that plays much looser with the rules and is much more enjoyable.

Not mine. I just verified and we do not need to let anything “simmer”. People do all sorts of things on my group. They can do first come first serve, first to reply, first to pick up, random pics, person to get her number. And in my group people don’t plead their case it’s mostly people saying interested.

[Anonymous]

I'm a DP. I would love to hear from the PPs what kind of community is built by picking up stuff. Do you chat when the recipient picks it up? Do you contact them directly with other give-aways once you know they have a particular interest?

I'm genuinely asking. I think community is important, I just don't see the mechanism here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then this is not the group for you. Use Freecycle or post free on marketplace. But Nothing groups want you to let things simmer for at a minimum a few hours so the greedy ones don’t get everything and you can pick someone that maybe hasn’t ever been picked.

Just leave the group and set your stuff on the curb then.

The “let it simmer” rule leads to the exercise of bias because apparently you are supposed to pick the person most worthy of your box of used colored markers or whatever. When you pick the first person, you have a clearly defined algorithm that doesn’t get diluted by things like race. I am honestly surprised so many admins want to promote a system that clearly leads to improper decision-making.

If you live in a diverse area, keep an eye on the posts to see how many people who are “picked” always happen to be white women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DP. I would love to hear from the PPs what kind of community is built by picking up stuff. Do you chat when the recipient picks it up? Do you contact them directly with other give-aways once you know they have a particular interest?

I'm genuinely asking. I think community is important, I just don't see the mechanism here.

It’s a hoarder community.

[Anonymous]

Wow that dynamic of deciding who is most deserving of your old stuff is unbelievably unappealing! I’m happy it works for the people who like that style but I’m with you, op-would seek another format.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in N Arlington? (Just surprised that this would happen with some frequency!) I left my group for exactly these reasons, OP. Crazytown.

Nope, I'm in Maryland! Crofton/Gambrills. I'm freely saying that in hopes that this gets back to the admin and she can learn to freaking take a chill pill and let people get rid of stuff however they see fit. "Building community" is something that happens organically and is not forced by some bored retiree with literally nothing to do but police the way people choose to give away their stuff. For free.

[Anonymous]

Can members of your buy nothing group make a request to change the rule about pleading your case for an item?

I do not see that in the official by nothing website so maybe that has changed and your group hasn’t caught up. Like I said, mine does not have that feature.

I agree that it can create bias and frankly might be shameful to some people to even request if they have a need and they have to explain their need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

I’m sorry, but the “let it simmer” rule is just power tripping insanity. There is no chaos prevented by that.

No, it's not. It's for people who can't be on Facebook all the time. We have a lot of nurses and teachers in our group who can't sit on FB like some other members. They'd never get chosen if it was always FCFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then this is not the group for you. Use Freecycle or post free on marketplace. But Nothing groups want you to let things simmer for at a minimum a few hours so the greedy ones don’t get everything and you can pick someone that maybe hasn’t ever been picked.

Just leave the group and set your stuff on the curb then.

The “let it simmer” rule leads to the exercise of bias because apparently you are supposed to pick the person most worthy of your box of used colored markers or whatever. When you pick the first person, you have a clearly defined algorithm that doesn’t get diluted by things like race. I am honestly surprised so many admins want to promote a system that clearly leads to improper decision-making.

If you live in a diverse area, keep an eye on the posts to see how many people who are “picked” always happen to be white women.

OP here and this is something that has definitely bothered me. I've seen exactly this. That's why I always go with the first poster, and after getting my hand slapped for it, I now have to say "first come, first served."

Once or twice, someone has sent me a private message explaining that they are truly going through a tough time, and I go with them and don't mind at all that they reached out to me privately even though that's "against the rules."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DP. I would love to hear from the PPs what kind of community is built by picking up stuff. Do you chat when the recipient picks it up? Do you contact them directly with other give-aways once you know they have a particular interest?

I'm genuinely asking. I think community is important, I just don't see the mechanism here.

It’s a hoarder community.

OP here. It's "hoarding" for me to give away very gently used tap shoes that no longer fit my child? And yes, some sense of community has been built when later on the mom who picked them up sent me a cute pic of her kid on the first day of dance class. I'm not saying now we're best friends, it was just a nice gesture.

I did connect with another mom who also is a swimmer because she had goggles that didn't fit her that worked for me. We sometimes carpool to Master's swim practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a DP. I would love to hear from the PPs what kind of community is built by picking up stuff. Do you chat when the recipient picks it up? Do you contact them directly with other give-aways once you know they have a particular interest?

I'm genuinely asking. I think community is important, I just don't see the mechanism here.

I'm not sure how it works, but it does. I don't typically chat with recipients in person because I'm at work during a lot of pick ups, but I exchange messages online. Gratitude posts help build community. There have been messages and posts saying how someone is using something I gave them or a photo of their kid wearing something I passed along. I know who has kids slightly older than mine and who has kids slightly younger than mine. If someone is getting married, having a baby, moving, etc., and puts out an ask for stuff, we all dig out stuff they can use (candles, swaddles, kitchenware, boxes, etc). We have a lot of borrowing of large tools or unique items (e.g., a dressform) in my group so that helps build community. I haven't personally done this but there have been people who have attended events together when someone has an extra ticket, people who have sewn/repaired items for people (gift of time/expertise). Stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be the voice of dissent. I love the way our BN admins run our group. Without rules there is chaos (!) and BN would become just like any other group on FB. Interestingly, in our spin-off group there was just a long thread from people who have moved away who miss our local BN groups and the community they've created. They said in their news groups it's just "Interested!" and first-come, first-served. That misses the point of BN, which is more than just getting rid of stuff, for that there is Freecycle, Next Door, and FB garage sale groups, among others.

I’m sorry, but the “let it simmer” rule is just power tripping insanity. There is no chaos prevented by that.

No, it's not. It's for people who can't be on Facebook all the time. We have a lot of nurses and teachers in our group who can't sit on FB like some other members. They'd never get chosen if it was always FCFS.

So it is a rule designed mostly to help white women.