Adult disappointment regarding wealth

[Anonymous]

If you can have very good health and have a great family life, you will be a winner and wealthier than them.

You need to strive for that.

[Anonymous]

OP - since you mention wanting more money in your 30s, I am guessing you are in your mid to late 30s. A decade past that, I can look back and recognize that early 30s is when paths start to diverge. Until then, it seems like you and your friends are all the same - paying student loans, working hard, getting raises and promotions. Then BOOM! In the span of 5 years, people you used to hang out with are living in a different world.
Medical specialists finish residency and fellowships. Lawyers and Consultants make partner. Academics get tenure. Stock options vest. People get married, buy houses, have kids and their choice of home, their chosen childcare, their vacations suddenly seem different from yours. A friend of mine who stays home with 3 kids describes 35 as her loneliest year watching her friends succeed professionally.

I’m in my mid-40s and I’m halfway through my career. I walked away from partner track and mommy tracked myself. It’s not for everyone, but I appreciate my work life balance more than the money I gave up. There is not a clear or easy path back to a $300k+ job if I regret my choices in the future. I also look around and recognize that most families we know with kids have at least 1 parent who has stepped back to a less demanding job. The ones that don’t are either stressed and constantly busy or they managed to make SO much money they can outsource nearly everything.

The grass is always greener. Money usually comes with some trade off - time, risk, responsibility, physical damage to your body.

Each career is 3 or more acts. Late 30s is the end of act 1. You have a few more pivots before you retire. Decide what you want and make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Yup. My husband's like "if you really wanted to go to med school I support you!" But I'm like "no, I'd need to pay tuition for postbac requirements and med school itself, I'd be out of the full time workforce for years, and you make 60k. Those numbers don't work." Law school at least doesn't have prereqs but the debt is high and I'm not sure I'd make it up in salary at my age. It's not realistic. You can make changes but they're skips, not leaps.

I would bet like against law school per your writing skills above...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy a plane ticket to Dhaka, Bangladesh. Walk around and look at how people live there. On the flight home, realize you are actually incredibly wealthy and should stop being a spoiled brat.

Does bangladesh have airport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're serious about making a change and have aptitude and interest in logic and analytical thinking, consider computer science / data science. Have many smart friends who successfully switched into this after years of low paying passion jobs. One of my friends is in her mid-30s, works as an office manager as a tech company, and getting her company to sponsor the transition to a junior SWE role -- seems like it's going well.

And having done both, CS has lots of overlapping logic skills and parallels to legal transactional work without the 3 years of law school + biglaw (and dealing with difficult counterparties...)

Dp.
But I thought the big SWE salaries were limited to the superstars, like those at faang

It depends on what you consider big salary. Yes superstars at FAANG make a lot, but average SWE at average companies make good money.
I don't know many people in that field that regret going into it because the job isn't paying enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Stop making excuses. It's never too late in your 30s or 40s. It's not easy for sure but life isn't easy either.
There are many examples of people that have switched careers in their 30s and 40s. It takes courage and determination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy a plane ticket to Dhaka, Bangladesh. Walk around and look at how people live there. On the flight home, realize you are actually incredibly wealthy and should stop being a spoiled brat.

Does bangladesh have airport?

It does.

Ready for all US "progressives"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Stop making excuses. It's never too late in your 30s or 40s. It's not easy for sure but life isn't easy either.
There are many examples of people that have switched careers in their 30s and 40s. It takes courage and determination.

What is your recommendation for a 40 year old project manager to boost salary to $400k by 45: go.

[Anonymous]

I took the opposite tack. I made the most money I possibly will ever make in my twenties. I suffered a lot of health issues and didn't make a lot of good choices with romantic partners and friends. A

Now I have a healthy, stable life and enjoy time with my friends and family. I make about half as much as I did in my twenties but in my forties I'm having so much fun and also planning for my future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took the opposite tack. I made the most money I possibly will ever make in my twenties. I suffered a lot of health issues and didn't make a lot of good choices with romantic partners and friends. A

Now I have a healthy, stable life and enjoy time with my friends and family. I make about half as much as I did in my twenties but in my forties I'm having so much fun and also planning for my future

This is the way to do it. Optimize money when young, then focus on passion and family after nest egg. It’s what I tell my kids, but DW is unhappy that I prioritize money making, despite her own unhappiness I’m not getting to SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Stop making excuses. It's never too late in your 30s or 40s. It's not easy for sure but life isn't easy either.

There are many examples of people that have switched careers in their 30s and 40s. It takes courage and determination.

What is your recommendation for a 40 year old project manager to boost salary to $400k by 45: go.

If you've been successful as a PM (keeping roles staffed, coming in under budget, hitting or exceeding revenue/profit goals) get out of the PM role and become a VP supervising PMs. You may need to move to a smaller or different company. Look for roles which provide a bigger base salary, along with performance based bonuses, and equity. Prudently invest your bonuses instead of spending them. Don't become over-concentrated in company stock; sell shares periodically and strategically with an eye towards tax implications. Let time work for you.

Done.

[Anonymous]

I went back to school to get a CS degree. I was in class with a bunch of 18 yr olds whom I found annoying. You could do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Stop making excuses. It's never too late in your 30s or 40s. It's not easy for sure but life isn't easy either.
There are many examples of people that have switched careers in their 30s and 40s. It takes courage and determination.

What is your recommendation for a 40 year old project manager to boost salary to $400k by 45: go.

Hussle, work for Accenture and the like, bring in clients.

Or get a CS degree and an MBA.


-DP

[Anonymous]

I’m 34 and recently switched careers. I’m on track to make much more money than I was in the field I was previously working in. Just a thought if you are open to changing careers and starting out in a more entry level position.

If, though, you are making 300k and are just frustrated you are not making 7 figures that’s a whole different ballgame and one I’m not familiar with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 34 and recently switched careers. I’m on track to make much more money than I was in the field I was previously working in. Just a thought if you are open to changing careers and starting out in a more entry level position.

If, though, you are making 300k and are just frustrated you are not making 7 figures that’s a whole different ballgame and one I’m not familiar with.

Adding; the field I went into is finance. I was previously working in a lower paying “pink collar” type job.