Adult disappointment regarding wealth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy a plane ticket to Dhaka, Bangladesh. Walk around and look at how people live there. On the flight home, realize you are actually incredibly wealthy and should stop being a spoiled brat.

I hate to say it because it sounds preachy, but this. I travel to very poor countries in Africa sometimes for work. When I see the daily struggles people go through just to eat, have clean drinking water, and a roof over their head it really puts it into perspective how lucky I am to not have to worry about those things. Sure, we are not rich and I would love to make more money. But my struggles are a modicum of what they could be.

[Anonymous]

Stay healthy and start a side business hustle. It will be more fun. Examples would be
youtube channel
Consulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had made different career and educational choices so that I may have had more money in my thirties. When I see peers have high net worths I am green with envy.

How do you deal?

It’s very frustrating, OP!

DH and I only have a HHI of $850K and NW of $15.3M and we’re already in our mid 40s. We’re both in tech. All of our friends are probably making way more than us. We’re barely making ends meet with weekly grocery bills now pushing $400. We’ve had to cut back to only nine vacations and six Michelin 3-star restaurants per year instead of the usual twelve and twelve. DH can’t even afford to buy a new car this year, as the MSRP is now more than $200K (last year was $170K)! Sometimes I wish I had married a lawyer instead of an exec at a high tech company. I don’t think we’ll ever know the comforts of Big Law….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had made different career and educational choices so that I may have had more money in my thirties. When I see peers have high net worths I am green with envy.

How do you deal?

It’s very frustrating, OP!

DH and I only have a HHI of $850K and NW of $15.3M and we’re already in our mid 40s. We’re both in tech. All of our friends are probably making way more than us. We’re barely making ends meet with weekly grocery bills now pushing $400. We’ve had to cut back to only nine vacations and six Michelin 3-star restaurants per year instead of the usual twelve and twelve. DH can’t even afford to buy a new car this year, as the MSRP is now more than $200K (last year was $170K)! Sometimes I wish I had married a lawyer instead of an exec at a high tech company. I don’t think we’ll ever know the comforts of Big Law….

Did OP mention how much they are earning? It may be a champagne problems situation but, as someone who left a notoriously low paying field for a higher paying job, I understand the motivation to want to earn more!

[Anonymous]

OP your feelings are normal. You can do at least one of two things about it (maybe both!).

(1) Accept the way you feel and make peace with it. Hindsight is 20/20. Focus on finding joy and gratitude in the life you have.

(2) Make a change going forward.

[Anonymous]

In mid thirties I made a career switch, changed by income from 65k to 150k, sure that’s not a ton of money but to me it was a significant change. It’s not late to gain additional/different skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Yup. My husband's like "if you really wanted to go to med school I support you!" But I'm like "no, I'd need to pay tuition for postbac requirements and med school itself, I'd be out of the full time workforce for years, and you make 60k. Those numbers don't work." Law school at least doesn't have prereqs but the debt is high and I'm not sure I'd make it up in salary at my age. It's not realistic. You can make changes but they're skips, not leaps.

Are the only high paying careers are medicine and law?

Most people don't want to admit it, but construction pays considerably well, most people don't want to risk it though.

You can take courses at a community College or through Google and pick up programming skills that pay very well. Learn an academic area or skill well and teach a course, it will earn you $5-8k every 3 months. No, I'm not talking about earning a Ph.D. and the teaching at a university. Many private organizations need trainers for specific workshops or skills, part-time graduate programs constantly use practitioners to teach a course that on a subject that person knows well. Community colleges don't have the pick of the litter so you may qualify. Ultimately the key will be to learn, develop, gain valuable skills, then you sell your services or you sell the knowledge you've gained.

The key will be to avoid debt so you can invest, net worth is built from investments that produce gains or income, hardly from income your "job" gives you(there are exceptions).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had made different career and educational choices so that I may have had more money in my thirties. When I see peers have high net worths I am green with envy.

How do you deal?

Visit a therapist or a church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had made different career and educational choices so that I may have had more money in my thirties. When I see peers have high net worths I am green with envy.

How do you deal?

It’s very frustrating, OP!

DH and I only have a HHI of $850K and NW of $15.3M and we’re already in our mid 40s. We’re both in tech. All of our friends are probably making way more than us. We’re barely making ends meet with weekly grocery bills now pushing $400. We’ve had to cut back to only nine vacations and six Michelin 3-star restaurants per year instead of the usual twelve and twelve. DH can’t even afford to buy a new car this year, as the MSRP is now more than $200K (last year was $170K)! Sometimes I wish I had married a lawyer instead of an exec at a high tech company. I don’t think we’ll ever know the comforts of Big Law….

I feel the same. It’s so frustrating. I went to college at Harvard with Mark Zuckerberg. I was in law school. Look at where he is now. He is a billionaire. I’m a lawyer making only $1m. I’m so jealous. I made the wrong career choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Yup. My husband's like "if you really wanted to go to med school I support you!" But I'm like "no, I'd need to pay tuition for postbac requirements and med school itself, I'd be out of the full time workforce for years, and you make 60k. Those numbers don't work." Law school at least doesn't have prereqs but the debt is high and I'm not sure I'd make it up in salary at my age. It's not realistic. You can make changes but they're skips, not leaps.

Are the only high paying careers are medicine and law?

Most people don't want to admit it, but construction pays considerably well, most people don't want to risk it though.

You can take courses at a community College or through Google and pick up programming skills that pay very well. Learn an academic area or skill well and teach a course, it will earn you $5-8k every 3 months. No, I'm not talking about earning a Ph.D. and the teaching at a university. Many private organizations need trainers for specific workshops or skills, part-time graduate programs constantly use practitioners to teach a course that on a subject that person knows well. Community colleges don't have the pick of the litter so you may qualify. Ultimately the key will be to learn, develop, gain valuable skills, then you sell your services or you sell the knowledge you've gained.

The key will be to avoid debt so you can invest, net worth is built from investments that produce gains or income, hardly from income your "job" gives you(there are exceptions).

I'm a civil engineer who took plenty of programming in college and can certainly do as well as a community college grad in programming skills and software engineering, but I have applied to hundreds of programming jobs and have zero response. My current work is not programming, so even though I have the skills listed, I don't know why I don't make the cut. I'm older, 45 and my current work doesnt include programming, but if they are hiring community college fresh out grads, why not someone like me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Stop making excuses. It's never too late in your 30s or 40s. It's not easy for sure but life isn't easy either.
There are many examples of people that have switched careers in their 30s and 40s. It takes courage and determination.

What is your recommendation for a 40 year old project manager to boost salary to $400k by 45: go.

Hussle, work for Accenture and the like, bring in clients.

Or get a CS degree and an MBA.


-DP

Starting as a consultant at Accenture is like $117k annual salary; how likely is it a 40 year can build a client list before being cut? or do you think an older employer should be able to bring clients from prior field? That path seems very confusing to me, since most consultants don't even make it before being pushed out, yet you think an older employee can thrive and survive "up or out" and build clients even faster?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Yup. My husband's like "if you really wanted to go to med school I support you!" But I'm like "no, I'd need to pay tuition for postbac requirements and med school itself, I'd be out of the full time workforce for years, and you make 60k. Those numbers don't work." Law school at least doesn't have prereqs but the debt is high and I'm not sure I'd make it up in salary at my age. It's not realistic. You can make changes but they're skips, not leaps.

Are the only high paying careers are medicine and law?

Most people don't want to admit it, but construction pays considerably well, most people don't want to risk it though.

You can take courses at a community College or through Google and pick up programming skills that pay very well. Learn an academic area or skill well and teach a course, it will earn you $5-8k every 3 months. No, I'm not talking about earning a Ph.D. and the teaching at a university. Many private organizations need trainers for specific workshops or skills, part-time graduate programs constantly use practitioners to teach a course that on a subject that person knows well. Community colleges don't have the pick of the litter so you may qualify. Ultimately the key will be to learn, develop, gain valuable skills, then you sell your services or you sell the knowledge you've gained.

The key will be to avoid debt so you can invest, net worth is built from investments that produce gains or income, hardly from income your "job" gives you(there are exceptions).

I'm a civil engineer who took plenty of programming in college and can certainly do as well as a community college grad in programming skills and software engineering, but I have applied to hundreds of programming jobs and have zero response. My current work is not programming, so even though I have the skills listed, I don't know why I don't make the cut. I'm older, 45 and my current work doesnt include programming, but if they are hiring community college fresh out grads, why not someone like me?

um.. ageism.

-- 52 yr old used to be in tech. I now work on the periphery of tech. The tech skills come in handy, but I don't do any type of development work, at all, anymore. That's fine, though, because I can't wait to retire early.

[Anonymous]

You are in your 30s--definitely not too late to make a change.

But, also keep in mind that you seem to be only focusing of the upsides of a more lucrative career. You should also think hard about the downsides (see, e.g., every biglaw thread on this board) and about what you have been able to accomplish because you chose a less lucrative (and potentially less demanding) career.

Also, worth considering all of the examples on this board of people with lots of wealth who still feel sad because they don't have as much as other people. Unless you figure out how to be happy with your choices and avoid comparing yourself to others, you will feel poor and sad no matter how much money you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Stop making excuses. It's never too late in your 30s or 40s. It's not easy for sure but life isn't easy either.
There are many examples of people that have switched careers in their 30s and 40s. It takes courage and determination.

What is your recommendation for a 40 year old project manager to boost salary to $400k by 45: go.

Hussle, work for Accenture and the like, bring in clients.

Or get a CS degree and an MBA.


-DP

Starting as a consultant at Accenture is like $117k annual salary; how likely is it a 40 year can build a client list before being cut? or do you think an older employer should be able to bring clients from prior field? That path seems very confusing to me, since most consultants don't even make it before being pushed out, yet you think an older employee can thrive and survive "up or out" and build clients even faster?

If OP is that hungry to make that kind of money, OP will need to hussle.

Why does OP think they can make that much money without really really putting in the effort. There's no magic wand or fairy godmother to make OP's wish come true. If it was that easy, don't you think everyone would take that route?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not approaching retirement you have the time to make changes. You could look for more demanding and better-paying work. If you're not presently qualified for roles like that, you may be able to become qualified through additional education or by seeking out specific types of work experiences. You may have to change employers, you may have to relocate, you may need to go back to school.

If you take no action, nothing will change and you'll be moaning about your lack of professional accomplishment and your failure to become wealthy (whatever that means to you) in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. Change takes effort and discipline, and in this case you also need a vision for the future you want which includes an actionable and practical way to get to where you want to be. Just doing what seems easiest or most attractive at the moment is insufficiently strategic - you'll need to map out steps which are reasonably calculated to allow you to reach your goal.

Let’s be real. A lot of doors close when you’re in late 30s…law school to big law, going back for premed / med school, etc.

This is the brutal truth no one wants to talk about.

i roll my eyes when people say it’s never too late. nope, for most people it is too late to change their life.

Stop making excuses. It's never too late in your 30s or 40s. It's not easy for sure but life isn't easy either.
There are many examples of people that have switched careers in their 30s and 40s. It takes courage and determination.

What is your recommendation for a 40 year old project manager to boost salary to $400k by 45: go.

Hussle, work for Accenture and the like, bring in clients.

Or get a CS degree and an MBA.


-DP

Starting as a consultant at Accenture is like $117k annual salary; how likely is it a 40 year can build a client list before being cut? or do you think an older employer should be able to bring clients from prior field? That path seems very confusing to me, since most consultants don't even make it before being pushed out, yet you think an older employee can thrive and survive "up or out" and build clients even faster?

If OP is that hungry to make that kind of money, OP will need to hussle.

Why does OP think they can make that much money without really really putting in the effort. There's no magic wand or fairy godmother to make OP's wish come true. If it was that easy, don't you think everyone would take that route?

OPs point is it is far easier and more likely to do it when you so it young “the normal way”.

Pivoting in middle age is much harder and less likely (and you have less time to keep trying)