Shipping possessions from estranged family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make the trip there to get the stuff. If you really don't want to see them, ask that they let you deal with picking it all up without them being there. Bring a friend.

Who knows, you may reconnect while you're dealing with this. I hope for your sake that you do.

All of this sentiment is so annoying to read. You have no idea why they are estranged. Bullying people into endlessly tolerating their abusive parents is a terrible terrible trend on this page.

DP But I find the sentiment to cut people off permanently at the slightest offense or perceived slight to be an annoying trend too. But if you're going to ask for advice here you have to realize you're going to get some you might not like.

You have no idea if that is what happened here. You're reading into it your own biases. I have a parent who is a permanent fixture of stress and anxiety in my life due to a mental illness that causes her to be incredibly emotionally abusive at fairly random intervals. I have not estranged but if I did I would feel relief for the first time in 30 years that I was not responsible for her. No one should have to make that choice because of judgy people like you (which, to be clear, is not why I am making that choice).

The people cutting off their family because MIL brought over pizza with olives even thought DIL hates olives are the exception to the rule. Most people have struggled with the relationship for years and years and years and it is a last ditch resort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make the trip there to get the stuff. If you really don't want to see them, ask that they let you deal with picking it all up without them being there. Bring a friend.

Who knows, you may reconnect while you're dealing with this. I hope for your sake that you do.

All of this sentiment is so annoying to read. You have no idea why they are estranged. Bullying people into endlessly tolerating their abusive parents is a terrible terrible trend on this page.

DP But I find the sentiment to cut people off permanently at the slightest offense or perceived slight to be an annoying trend too. But if you're going to ask for advice here you have to realize you're going to get some you might not like.

You have no idea if that is what happened here. You're reading into it your own biases. I have a parent who is a permanent fixture of stress and anxiety in my life due to a mental illness that causes her to be incredibly emotionally abusive at fairly random intervals. I have not estranged but if I did I would feel relief for the first time in 30 years that I was not responsible for her. No one should have to make that choice because of judgy people like you (which, to be clear, is not why I am making that choice).

The people cutting off their family because MIL brought over pizza with olives even thought DIL hates olives are the exception to the rule. Most people have struggled with the relationship for years and years and years and it is a last ditch resort.

Problem is people never post with their exact full history so based on the one slight, sometimes people tell them to cut off or not. Everyone responds with their biases. But that’s what you get when you give a snippet of background on an anonymous board. Get a therapist if you want great advice amd have the time to give the full background. Otherwise you will get a wide range of advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your best option is to tell yourself that they were destroyed in a flood or fire and let it go. You really don't need your yearbooks and prom dress.

I’d want my yearbooks and any personal photos. Those are irreplaceable.

Your yearbooks? How old are you?

Old enough to want them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your best option is to tell yourself that they were destroyed in a flood or fire and let it go. You really don't need your yearbooks and prom dress.

I’d want my yearbooks and any personal photos. Those are irreplaceable.

Your yearbooks? How old are you?

They’re for life. I’m 49.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know they have not already discarded your stuff since it has been there 10 yrs? This could be why they are not helpful as they already got rid of the stuff. I would try to at least find that out before you go out there or hire a company to pickup.

Have you ever met an old person? 90+% chance the stuff is still there.