Shipping possessions from estranged family

[Anonymous]

Just make the trip there to get the stuff. If you really don't want to see them, ask that they let you deal with picking it all up without them being there. Bring a friend.

Who knows, you may reconnect while you're dealing with this. I hope for your sake that you do.

[Anonymous]

Why do you have so much crap? Let it go. It’s been 10 years, it’s nothing you actually need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have so much crap? Let it go. It’s been 10 years, it’s nothing you actually need.

Yep if you have not used something in 10 years?

[Anonymous]

OP, I get where you are. Sorry that people are piling on you for having boxes of stuff at your parent's house.

I am 40 and have probably a very similar number of boxes in my parents' basement storage room, some from childhood, some things from college, and all my kid's baby gear that I didn't want to get rid of as I was planning on another baby.

They have a 6,000 sq ft house for 2 people and at the time, I lived in 800 sq ft with DH and a baby.

I know many, many friends who have similar arrangements with their parents. It is not unusual. Also, the Marie Kondo enthusiasts need to settle down. It isn't their business to make a value judgement that some people prefer to have more stuff around them than others. It makes no impact in their life if your home is filled with tchotchkes and they keep a minimalist home.

I'm sorry that you are dealing with an estrangement. I have been there before and it is hard. Those who have never had to experience the drama and trauma that often leads up to an estrangement can be dismissive and hurtful. I hope that you are able to retrieve your belongings without a big dramatic scene with your parents. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just make the trip there to get the stuff. If you really don't want to see them, ask that they let you deal with picking it all up without them being there. Bring a friend.

Who knows, you may reconnect while you're dealing with this. I hope for your sake that you do.

+1. Is there really an alternative to going there yourself if your parents won’t let anyone else in and you want the stuff?

[Anonymous]

I think your best option is to tell yourself that they were destroyed in a flood or fire and let it go. You really don't need your yearbooks and prom dress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your best option is to tell yourself that they were destroyed in a flood or fire and let it go. You really don't need your yearbooks and prom dress.

I’d want my yearbooks and any personal photos. Those are irreplaceable.

[Anonymous]

Amtrak is cheap for boxes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your best option is to tell yourself that they were destroyed in a flood or fire and let it go. You really don't need your yearbooks and prom dress.

I’d want my yearbooks and any personal photos. Those are irreplaceable.

Your yearbooks? How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Nearly all of my childhood possessions were destroyed in an F4 tornado. The few that made it through were returned to the newly rebuilt home by the restoration company and went into the basement. I became estranged from my parents about 10 years later while living across the country.

I flew back to my hometown, waited until they left for church, had my high school boyfriend roll up in his truck, we got in and out in about 20 minutes with everything. I never heard from them, so I assume they didn’t even notice.

Another option - if they will give access or place the boxes outside, hire someone through UShip that will pick it all up without needing specific box sizes/weights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nearly all of my childhood possessions were destroyed in an F4 tornado. The few that made it through were returned to the newly rebuilt home by the restoration company and went into the basement. I became estranged from my parents about 10 years later while living across the country.

I flew back to my hometown, waited until they left for church, had my high school boyfriend roll up in his truck, we got in and out in about 20 minutes with everything. I never heard from them, so I assume they didn’t even notice.

Another option - if they will give access or place the boxes outside, hire someone through UShip that will pick it all up without needing specific box sizes/weights.

You broke into your parents house and stole stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nearly all of my childhood possessions were destroyed in an F4 tornado. The few that made it through were returned to the newly rebuilt home by the restoration company and went into the basement. I became estranged from my parents about 10 years later while living across the country.

I flew back to my hometown, waited until they left for church, had my high school boyfriend roll up in his truck, we got in and out in about 20 minutes with everything. I never heard from them, so I assume they didn’t even notice.

Another option - if they will give access or place the boxes outside, hire someone through UShip that will pick it all up without needing specific box sizes/weights.

You broke into your parents house and stole stuff?

But look at it this way: she/he hooked up with the high school boyfriend with a pickup truck! Sexy.

[Anonymous]

How do you know they have not already discarded your stuff since it has been there 10 yrs? This could be why they are not helpful as they already got rid of the stuff. I would try to at least find that out before you go out there or hire a company to pickup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just make the trip there to get the stuff. If you really don't want to see them, ask that they let you deal with picking it all up without them being there. Bring a friend.

Who knows, you may reconnect while you're dealing with this. I hope for your sake that you do.

All of this sentiment is so annoying to read. You have no idea why they are estranged. Bullying people into endlessly tolerating their abusive parents is a terrible terrible trend on this page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make the trip there to get the stuff. If you really don't want to see them, ask that they let you deal with picking it all up without them being there. Bring a friend.

Who knows, you may reconnect while you're dealing with this. I hope for your sake that you do.

All of this sentiment is so annoying to read. You have no idea why they are estranged. Bullying people into endlessly tolerating their abusive parents is a terrible terrible trend on this page.

DP But I find the sentiment to cut people off permanently at the slightest offense or perceived slight to be an annoying trend too. But if you're going to ask for advice here you have to realize you're going to get some you might not like.