Would you make siblings attend brother’s band concert?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m our family, both parents attend games and performances when are all possible. So yes, we would all go because neither adult would want to miss.

People having more than 2 kids don’t think about this enough.

For both parents to attend everything, you can only have one kid. Any time there is more than one kid, there is a chance that each will have an event scheduled at the same time.

False. You just have to prioritize appropriately and your kids may sometimes skip one of their activities to attend an important function for a sibling. In this case yearly concert > sports practice. Now if two kids had recitals/concerts/playoff games at the same time that were of equal weight, then I concede that you might have to split up to handle it. But in this case I think it sends the wrong message for the older sibling to skip the concert.

False. If you actually have two kids that are actively involved in things, you should realizes that this thing you "concede" to happens far more often that not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m our family, both parents attend games and performances when are all possible. So yes, we would all go because neither adult would want to miss.

People having more than 2 kids don’t think about this enough.

For both parents to attend everything, you can only have one kid. Any time there is more than one kid, there is a chance that each will have an event scheduled at the same time.

False. You just have to prioritize appropriately and your kids may sometimes skip one of their activities to attend an important function for a sibling. In this case yearly concert > sports practice. Now if two kids had recitals/concerts/playoff games at the same time that were of equal weight, then I concede that you might have to split up to handle it. But in this case I think it sends the wrong message for the older sibling to skip the concert.

False. If you actually have two kids that are actively involved in things, you should realizes that this thing you "concede" to happens far more often that not.

I do have two kids and both are involved in activities. For those events that we define as Really Important, everyone attends. I think it's pretty rare for major events to be scheduled at the exact same time unless you have Duggar-numbers of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m our family, both parents attend games and performances when are all possible. So yes, we would all go because neither adult would want to miss.

People having more than 2 kids don’t think about this enough.

For both parents to attend everything, you can only have one kid. Any time there is more than one kid, there is a chance that each will have an event scheduled at the same time.

False. You just have to prioritize appropriately and your kids may sometimes skip one of their activities to attend an important function for a sibling. In this case yearly concert > sports practice. Now if two kids had recitals/concerts/playoff games at the same time that were of equal weight, then I concede that you might have to split up to handle it. But in this case I think it sends the wrong message for the older sibling to skip the concert.

False. If you actually have two kids that are actively involved in things, you should realizes that this thing you "concede" to happens far more often that not.

I do have two kids and both are involved in activities. For those events that we define as Really Important, everyone attends. I think it's pretty rare for major events to be scheduled at the exact same time unless you have Duggar-numbers of kids.

False.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m our family, both parents attend games and performances when are all possible. So yes, we would all go because neither adult would want to miss.

People having more than 2 kids don’t think about this enough.

For both parents to attend everything, you can only have one kid. Any time there is more than one kid, there is a chance that each will have an event scheduled at the same time.

False. You just have to prioritize appropriately and your kids may sometimes skip one of their activities to attend an important function for a sibling. In this case yearly concert > sports practice. Now if two kids had recitals/concerts/playoff games at the same time that were of equal weight, then I concede that you might have to split up to handle it. But in this case I think it sends the wrong message for the older sibling to skip the concert.

False. If you actually have two kids that are actively involved in things, you should realizes that this thing you "concede" to happens far more often that not.

I do have two kids and both are involved in activities. For those events that we define as Really Important, everyone attends. I think it's pretty rare for major events to be scheduled at the exact same time unless you have Duggar-numbers of kids.

False.

This is kind of a ridiculous response (DP, FWIW). A band kid is literally going to have likely a single 'showcase' event of the year. Maybe two, a Christmas recital and an end of year show. The level of sport my kid would need to be at to justify skipping a single practice to attend their siblings sole yearly showcase would be like, is the NFL going to be scouting the practice?

Very very few kids become elite whatever-their-activity-is whether that is the violin or the basketball court. What is lasting (hopefully, if you work at it) is a lifelong bond with your family you show up for. You don't have to be one in a million to have a good relationship with your siblings. And sacrificing that lifelong benefit to over prioritize an extra curricular that a child is good at, heck maybe even GREAT at, is not worth it IMO. Because one practice/game is not make or break, and because if my kid goes on to be a banker instead of a professional soccer player, but we forced their siblings to live a life indentured to travel soccer and constantly putting their needs on the back burner, then we hurt all the kids for no reason. And that is the most likely outcome.

[Anonymous]

We all attend, in masks.

[Anonymous]

Because covid - no
Otherwise, yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m our family, both parents attend games and performances when are all possible. So yes, we would all go because neither adult would want to miss.

People having more than 2 kids don’t think about this enough.

For both parents to attend everything, you can only have one kid. Any time there is more than one kid, there is a chance that each will have an event scheduled at the same time.

False. You just have to prioritize appropriately and your kids may sometimes skip one of their activities to attend an important function for a sibling. In this case yearly concert > sports practice. Now if two kids had recitals/concerts/playoff games at the same time that were of equal weight, then I concede that you might have to split up to handle it. But in this case I think it sends the wrong message for the older sibling to skip the concert.

False. If you actually have two kids that are actively involved in things, you should realizes that this thing you "concede" to happens far more often that not.

I do have two kids and both are involved in activities. For those events that we define as Really Important, everyone attends. I think it's pretty rare for major events to be scheduled at the exact same time unless you have Duggar-numbers of kids.

Eh I have three and two do travel sports and all play instruments, and yes this type of overlap absolutely does happen. It’s rare for us to all be free for a single event. We always have at least one parent attend but beyond that, it’s something we aim to achieve but often can’t.

[Anonymous]

I also think it's important to realize that a recital is different than a game.
A recital is *SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED* to be performed in front of other people. Having an audience there is the key to its existence.
On the other hand, a game is designed to be two teams competing. It's reason for existence is just fine even if there's no one else in the stands.

So yes, OP, I think this recital takes precedence over most sports things, certainly at the pre- high school level. (And before anyone says anything, yes I have a middle schooler who is quite good and invested in a sport.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think it's important to realize that a recital is different than a game.
A recital is *SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED* to be performed in front of other people. Having an audience there is the key to its existence.
On the other hand, a game is designed to be two teams competing. It's reason for existence is just fine even if there's no one else in the stands.

So yes, OP, I think this recital takes precedence over most sports things, certainly at the pre- high school level. (And before anyone says anything, yes I have a middle schooler who is quite good and invested in a sport.)

Op here. We will all attend. We attended my oldest’s concerts pre Covid as a family. We will all attend middle child’s concert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle kid here. I'm not saying you should make them go to this specific concert, but you should make them go to his stuff. I went to tons of events to see my older and younger siblings perform or play when I was a kid, but as a middled child this was very much not reciprocated. By the time I was in activities, my older sister was deemed too old to be forced to attend. Sometimes she had school stuff or her own activities, but often she just didn't want to and was out with friends. And my younger brother was deemed too young, blah blah blah he'd find it boring. Yet this theory did not seem to apply when I spent much of elementary school going to my sister's basketball games and doing homework sitting on the bleachers.

When I was a kid, I would have told you I didn't care either way. But as an adult, when I look back on my childhood, it really does feel like I was kind of invisible and overlooked. I remember at holiday meal several years ago, one of my nieces was talking about going out for track and field and I was encouraging her and telling her how much I got out of doing it, and relating this story about how I wanted to be a sprinter but they made me do distance running and while I hated it initially, I discovered I actually loved it and still run. My siblings and my dad were extremely confused because they didn't even remember that I'd run track. I did it for 5 years! It's stuff like that which is disappointing and sad to me. I think my parents could have done a better job of making sure all their kids supported each other. I'm not close to my siblings and this is very much part of the reason why.

+1. This has happened to me several times.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends a lot on how important the instrument is to the kid. My middle kid never practices and is not heavily invested. I would not make other kids miss activities for that.
Also, I will say that if my MS kid’s team had to forfeit (or lost because they didn’t have subs) because his teammate was attending his 4th grade brother’s band concert…I would be a little irritated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends a lot on how important the instrument is to the kid. My middle kid never practices and is not heavily invested. I would not make other kids miss activities for that.
Also, I will say that if my MS kid’s team had to forfeit (or lost because they didn’t have subs) because his teammate was attending his 4th grade brother’s band concert…I would be a little irritated.

Sorry, but I don’t care if you are irritated, and I have two kids who play travel sports. Supporting family members during a ONCE A YEAR concert, even if it’s 4th grade, is more important than a middle school sports game. But we specifically chose a team where the games aren’t more important than the rest of your life.

[Anonymous]

Surprised this is a question. The whole family goes to suffer together, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends a lot on how important the instrument is to the kid. My middle kid never practices and is not heavily invested. I would not make other kids miss activities for that.
Also, I will say that if my MS kid’s team had to forfeit (or lost because they didn’t have subs) because his teammate was attending his 4th grade brother’s band concert…I would be a little irritated.

Sorry, but I don’t care if you are irritated, and I have two kids who play travel sports. Supporting family members during a ONCE A YEAR concert, even if it’s 4th grade, is more important than a middle school sports game. But we specifically chose a team where the games aren’t more important than the rest of your life.

I'd hope the coach would remove him from the team--especially if it's a travel team or other team that you have to try out for.

-Not the pp you quoted.

[Anonymous]

I always love seeing families show up for each other. Yes, I would try to have the siblings there. Family first.