DH just accepted a job that includes 33% travel- prepare me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone. I don't think there's anyway we could afford a nanny. We currently pay $1300/m total for prek, aftercare, and the in home daycare (which also provides diapers, wipes, and all food).

I responded earlier. We don’t have a nanny either. It’s doable. You’ve got this.

[Anonymous]

My sister had au pairs when her DH traveled and kids were young. That way she had the wiggle room to work late if necessary or meet a friend for drinks and dinner or go for a run or whatever. Having an au pair is less expensive than having a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister had au pairs when her DH traveled and kids were young. That way she had the wiggle room to work late if necessary or meet a friend for drinks and dinner or go for a run or whatever. Having an au pair is less expensive than having a nanny.

Au pairs only work if the OP has an extra bedroom. They are also really hit and miss since many of them are still teenagers.

[Anonymous]

I did this for a few years.

Family calendar is key. My spouse's travel was not routine, and sometimes would come up quickly. There were times where he'd say to me "Oh, I might need to go to Florida next week" and then Tuesday morning would come around and I'd be completely taken aback that he was taking off with a suitcase for three days. From his perspective, he'd told me -- from mine, he'd mentioned something in passing that was not a firm commitment.

We have a shared electronic calendar and we review the week together on Saturday morning as we make a shopping list and figure out who is on dinner duty for each night.

The other thing that's important is to beef up your social network. Who are the adults that you will spend time with? We do a regular Friday evening hangout at a local playground in summer, we'll grab a couple of pizzas and let the kids hang out on the playground until it's dark.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one whose traveling spouse regularly brought home germs for the entire family to enjoy? I would hoard up my sick leave and be prepared to have sick kids and a sick self more often than I did previously. You need to have plans in place for that. Particularly with Covid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prepare to be a single mom and hire help (bi-weekly cleaning and a nanny/ sitter for random weekends so you can have some "me" time).

Maybe also a meal delivery service if you can afford it.

Depending on your relationship with your boss, discuss your work hours as you'll be doin the brunt of drop-offs, pick-ups, and appointments. If you have a flexible schedule already, then nvm.

Most single moms do all of this by themselves. They don't have the money to hire help like that. In fact, I am a single mom and I AM the help. I work FT and my PT job is a babysitter. Just be aware of your language.

Freedom of speech crazy lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prepare to be a single mom and hire help (bi-weekly cleaning and a nanny/ sitter for random weekends so you can have some "me" time).

Maybe also a meal delivery service if you can afford it.

Depending on your relationship with your boss, discuss your work hours as you'll be doin the brunt of drop-offs, pick-ups, and appointments. If you have a flexible schedule already, then nvm.

Most single moms do all of this by themselves. They don't have the money to hire help like that. In fact, I am a single mom and I AM the help. I work FT and my PT job is a babysitter. Just be aware of your language.

Freedom of speech crazy lady

Shut it, trollboy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one whose traveling spouse regularly brought home germs for the entire family to enjoy? I would hoard up my sick leave and be prepared to have sick kids and a sick self more often than I did previously. You need to have plans in place for that. Particularly with Covid

We have fewer germs today than we did when the kids were little and in preschool. It is what it is - the kids get sick, sure, but that’s life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a 14mo and 4yo. Older child is in full time preschool + aftercare til 7:45am- 4pm. Younger child goes to an in-home daycare from 8am-4:15pm. Preschool is walkable from our house and the in-home daycare is a 5 min drive.

I work 8:30-4 (well, a few mins before) with a nix of 3 days WFH and 2 days 30min train commute downtown. We have a large dog and single family home.

Younger one is a sleeping nightmare which I know I need to curb asap. It's definitely my fault, I've soaked up the sleepy snuggles too long because she's my last baby.

What steps can I take to make life easier while DH travels? Thinking of getting a biweekly cleaning service and starting to build a roster of babysitters.

I really think this is all you need. Help keeping the house clean and the occasional/weekly night out to yourself or weekend morning, or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one whose traveling spouse regularly brought home germs for the entire family to enjoy? I would hoard up my sick leave and be prepared to have sick kids and a sick self more often than I did previously. You need to have plans in place for that. Particularly with Covid

My husband got a call in the Uber on his way home from two week trip that he’d been exposed. Is now sleeping in spare room til his pcr test/results. I was looking forward to clocking out of being primary for a few days when he got home, nope. Rolling with it and mostly hoping he doesn’t have to go through covid. But also kinda burnt out. This is new for us even though he’s been traveling for work for 8 years. We’ve never picked anything up from him. He has to get vaccinations and carry meds on trips though, so maybe that’s part of it.