Have you every sent an anonymous letter/note?

[Anonymous]

I have wanted to send an anonymous letter to the new boyfriend of my ex-DH’s affair partner. Just to let him know that his gf was sleeping with a married man when she was herself married. But I have self control, so I won’t actually do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. A neighbor left a note in our mailbox complaining that sometimes she/he got stuck behind our disabled child's bus in front of our house in the afternoon (child had to be detached from a harness and buckled in to a wheelchair-it never took more than a few minutes), and could we move the bus stop to the corner? For ten years, I have wondered which neighbor is the a-hole.

What an a$$. One year, we were participating in the Marine Corps Fun Run. My DD was in a wheelchair and we'd taken metro to the Pentagon and were waiting for a Fun Run bus to take us to the race site. We were chatting with some Marines while we were waiting for an accessible bus. I don't know how it came up but one of them carried her up into the bus (DD loved it) while another stowed her wheelchair under the bus.

Apparently, the woman behind us didn't realize it was my DD's wheelchair (I don't know how she missed the Marine carrying DD) and was going off on how it was delaying the bus, why would someone in a wheelchair even be participating, what a hassle it was, how ridiculous accommodating people with disabilities was getting, etc. I thought DH was going to get up and pummel her. Instead, it was DS who stood up and started yelling at the woman. A number of other people on the bus chimed in with their support. The woman shut up and I felt sorry for her kids. A number of people came up while we were there and had some encouraging words. The Marines ran with DD and DS and were super supportive. Some people are just a$$holes, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. A neighbor left a note in our mailbox complaining that sometimes she/he got stuck behind our disabled child's bus in front of our house in the afternoon (child had to be detached from a harness and buckled in to a wheelchair-it never took more than a few minutes), and could we move the bus stop to the corner? For ten years, I have wondered which neighbor is the a-hole.

this is infuriating and so hurtful. I am so sorry that someone did that to you

Neighbors would call my parents and ask when our older sister with Down Syndrome was going to move into an institution. Granted this was a time when a number of developmentally disabled folks did live in group homes or institutions. My sister's generation was really the first where more babies returned home with their parents rather than being transferred directly to an institution.

That was hard, but the bus complaint really infuriates me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have wanted to send an anonymous letter to the new boyfriend of my ex-DH’s affair partner. Just to let him know that his gf was sleeping with a married man when she was herself married. But I have self control, so I won’t actually do it.

Girl I let OW job know, her mom know, her husband know. Scorched earth, not anonymous. Never felt better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One time a mom emailed me about my sons behavior towards her son. I was mortified by what she shared, and apologized. Then we talked with my son about it, he agreed to stay away from the other kid. Don’t send an anonymous note, talk openly with the parent.

Oh, SAME! It wasn’t bullying behavior but it was really inappropriate and unacceptable. (It involved a profane text on his first phone.) DH and I were mortified, DS was even more so, and nothing like it has ever, ever happened again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous letters are for cowards and criminals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. To the parents of my kid's bully. The kid bullies many kids in the school. I've talked to the parents already, other parent have talked to them. The parents haven't done anything about it. The school hasn't done anything about it. I think everyone is a little too "nice" about it and don't convey how awful that kid is because everyone is afraid that the bully will come down harder on their kids for tattling.

So why is it that you think an anonymous letter/note will accomplish anything different?

The thing you do with bullies is punch them in the nose. Teach your kid this. Next time the bully goes after your kid, your kid needs to punch the bully in the nose or, or the nuts or, better yet, kick out his knee to the side -- he'll go down and stay down and his humiliation will stop the bullying for the future.

All this talking -- anonymous or no -- is pointless and ineffective.

+1

[Anonymous]

Own the letter and use an attorney to write a letter on their letterhead. They’ll take it more seriously.

[Anonymous]

I wrote a letter to Building dept asking how I could make my illegal home business legal. I even included pictures of house with customers coming and going in a residential area and gave address.

Was not actually my house but I am sure deep down the owner appreciated it.

[Anonymous]

anonymous note.
I say do it. You do anything to save other kids from getting harm. So, this might be one of many things you are trying to help. Just in case they think no one knows.
But, you have to be careful what you write.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Own the letter and use an attorney to write a letter on their letterhead. They’ll take it more seriously.

I like this idea. NP.

[Anonymous]

My kid was the object of bullying that started overnight - her two best friends just turned on her something fierce and didn't let up. The school initially was like "oh wow, this is horrible what they're doing" but then their response was so diluted with "we don't want to upset anyone" that -- for whatever its worth, take it or leave it -- I absolutely went off on the principal and vice-principal. I basically said I am no longer playing, I will lawyer up and sue the hell out of the school if they don't put an end to it, and I will absolutely teach my kid to go after them full force, and if she's suspended I'll sue the hell out of school for not doing their job and forcing my daughter to defend herself at school, etc.

It stopped.

[Anonymous]

PP again. The school said the parents of one of the kids wanted to reach out to apologize, and I told them to stuff it. Under no circumstances was I to receive any communication from them, that I blamed them for raising such a brat. I just went off. Sorry, I'm feeling it now as I remember all of this, and it was three years ago!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again. The school has been notified, many times. The parents have been notified--many times. By me and by others. I don't know why this kid keeps getting away with it. That's why I thought a different tactic may help.

What's going on?

It seems odd to me that multiple parents have complained to the school and the school hasn't done anything.

How old are the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have wanted to send an anonymous letter to the new boyfriend of my ex-DH’s affair partner. Just to let him know that his gf was sleeping with a married man when she was herself married. But I have self control, so I won’t actually do it.

Girl I let OW job know, her mom know, her husband know. Scorched earth, not anonymous. Never felt better.

Inventive approach but you were very lucky. If OW lost her job at any point after your letter to her employer, she probably could have come after you for damages.