Senior year is apparently the worst year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did it kill his spirit? My kid will be a senior next year. Has the application process gotten worse since we were kids?

The process is easier. Fill out one application and write an essay or two and hit submit. I remember filling out 6-8 different applications and maybe 1-2 of the schools had the same essay. There was only regular decision back then so we were doing this smack dab in the middle of senior year. Not fun. My senior wrote his essay at the end of junior year and had his English teacher read it and comment. He filled out the Common App in August and that was it.

I'm glad your senior only had to write one essay, but that's not accurate for many kids. My senior only applied to 5 schools, all in-state. This required:

1 650-word essay (Common App)

PLUS
1 additional 650-word essay
2 350-word essays
4 200-word essays
3-page honors college essay

None of these could be repurposed as the prompts were pretty specific.

That's nothing compared to what many of her friends had to do.

+1

PLUS entering their entire HS transcript, data entry style, line by line for each class, every semester, every grade even though that info is sent by the HS in support of the applications as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how the answer on DCUM is always to have your kid set their sights lower as a way of finding happiness. If you have a high stats kid who has a shot at a T10 school, is it always a better decision to throw away your lottery ticket? I agree that it's a fine decision to ED at somewhere a little safer to just be finished with the process, but if a kid wants to try to get into their dream school, I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. Most students at HYPS, etc. are there because they won a lottery. Is it better not to try??

My kid applied to 12 schools and it was a slog. Yes, it was a choice, but it was a slog nonetheless. 28 extra essays, doing extra essays/interviews when some of their target and match schools identified them as scholarship candidates, etc. At the end of it all, my kid got into two top schools. Was it worth some misery during senior year for him to reach for the stars, yes. But that doesn't mean that the process isn't absolutely miserable.

It depends---Who actually has their sights set on the T10 school? The kid, or is it really the parents pushing it and the kid just wants to please mommy/daddy?
Because going thru that process with 28 extra essays if the kid would actually be happier at a T50 school seems like unnecessary stress.

If it's the kid truly driving the process, then go for it. But just make sure you kid realizes that even with high stats, it really is a "lottery", unless they have an amazing hook. So be sure to select several REAL targets and Safety schools that your kid would be thrilled to attend. Set the expectations well, so that if all 12 send rejections, your kid isn't devastated come April 1.

Also have discussions regarding finances well ahead of time, and make sure your real targets and safeties include ones you can actually afford as a family. And if you could not possibly afford those 12 elite schools (and aren't eligible for financial aid) then explain that to your kid. I wouldn't want to put in all that work for a lottery, to only win the lottery and then be told "sorry but we can't afford it".

For example, my kid applied to 12 schools: got accepted at 8, waitlisted at 1, ultimately rejected from ED after being deferred and rejected from 2 Ivies (which kid didn't really want to attend). So in reality, my kid applied to 10, accepted at 6 and WL at 1 and rejected at ED choice ultimately. That's because we worked to select real Targets (with acceptance rates over 25%) and real safeties (with acceptance rates over 50%) that my kid actually liked. That's how it should be if you have a wide selection of schools in all tiers.

My kid would have been excited to attend 1 of their true safeties and actually considered it until March acceptance at school they will be attending.

It's not 'just the parents' pushing. The kids talk at school; they want to know where each other applied and whether or not they were accepted. Some of the curiosity is friendly, like a team sport and the kids are excited for each other and some of the curiosity is not. The question of 'who' will get in to the most selective schools looms for the whole grade and the teachers as well. Many high schools publish where their students have gotten in in the past five years, or publish where your kids has reported that they are going.

Then add your colleagues in to the mix; mine want to know. Then add any family members who 'couldn't care less (care intensely!)' about where your kid 'gets in'; they need to be able to humblebrag to their friends. The aunts and uncles want to validate whether their kids are better than the current generation or not. The concentric circles from DC extend to MA and FL. I can't even count how many times people have made snide or 'you must be joking' comments to me about the prospect that my kid will go to a '(dreadful) state school' not realizing that we are genuinely considering those options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how the answer on DCUM is always to have your kid set their sights lower as a way of finding happiness. If you have a high stats kid who has a shot at a T10 school, is it always a better decision to throw away your lottery ticket? I agree that it's a fine decision to ED at somewhere a little safer to just be finished with the process, but if a kid wants to try to get into their dream school, I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. Most students at HYPS, etc. are there because they won a lottery. Is it better not to try??

My kid applied to 12 schools and it was a slog. Yes, it was a choice, but it was a slog nonetheless. 28 extra essays, doing extra essays/interviews when some of their target and match schools identified them as scholarship candidates, etc. At the end of it all, my kid got into two top schools. Was it worth some misery during senior year for him to reach for the stars, yes. But that doesn't mean that the process isn't absolutely miserable.

It depends---Who actually has their sights set on the T10 school? The kid, or is it really the parents pushing it and the kid just wants to please mommy/daddy?
Because going thru that process with 28 extra essays if the kid would actually be happier at a T50 school seems like unnecessary stress.

If it's the kid truly driving the process, then go for it. But just make sure you kid realizes that even with high stats, it really is a "lottery", unless they have an amazing hook. So be sure to select several REAL targets and Safety schools that your kid would be thrilled to attend. Set the expectations well, so that if all 12 send rejections, your kid isn't devastated come April 1.

Also have discussions regarding finances well ahead of time, and make sure your real targets and safeties include ones you can actually afford as a family. And if you could not possibly afford those 12 elite schools (and aren't eligible for financial aid) then explain that to your kid. I wouldn't want to put in all that work for a lottery, to only win the lottery and then be told "sorry but we can't afford it".

For example, my kid applied to 12 schools: got accepted at 8, waitlisted at 1, ultimately rejected from ED after being deferred and rejected from 2 Ivies (which kid didn't really want to attend). So in reality, my kid applied to 10, accepted at 6 and WL at 1 and rejected at ED choice ultimately. That's because we worked to select real Targets (with acceptance rates over 25%) and real safeties (with acceptance rates over 50%) that my kid actually liked. That's how it should be if you have a wide selection of schools in all tiers.

My kid would have been excited to attend 1 of their true safeties and actually considered it until March acceptance at school they will be attending.

Sorry!

It's not 'just the parents' pushing. The kids talk at school; they want to know where each other applied and whether or not they were accepted. Some of the curiosity is friendly, like a team sport and the kids are excited for each other and some of the curiosity is not. The question of 'who' will get in to the most selective schools looms for the whole grade and the teachers as well. Many high schools publish where their students have gotten in in the past five years, or publish where your kids has reported that they are going.

Then add your colleagues in to the mix; mine want to know. Then add any family members who 'couldn't care less (care intensely!)' about where your kid 'gets in'; they need to be able to humblebrag to their friends. The aunts and uncles want to validate whether their kids are better than the current generation or not. The concentric circles from DC extend to MA and FL. I can't even count how many times people have made snide or 'you must be joking' comments to me about the prospect that my kid will go to a '(dreadful) state school' not realizing that we are genuinely considering those options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how the answer on DCUM is always to have your kid set their sights lower as a way of finding happiness. If you have a high stats kid who has a shot at a T10 school, is it always a better decision to throw away your lottery ticket? I agree that it's a fine decision to ED at somewhere a little safer to just be finished with the process, but if a kid wants to try to get into their dream school, I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. Most students at HYPS, etc. are there because they won a lottery. Is it better not to try??

My kid applied to 12 schools and it was a slog. Yes, it was a choice, but it was a slog nonetheless. 28 extra essays, doing extra essays/interviews when some of their target and match schools identified them as scholarship candidates, etc. At the end of it all, my kid got into two top schools. Was it worth some misery during senior year for him to reach for the stars, yes. But that doesn't mean that the process isn't absolutely miserable.

It depends---Who actually has their sights set on the T10 school? The kid, or is it really the parents pushing it and the kid just wants to please mommy/daddy?
Because going thru that process with 28 extra essays if the kid would actually be happier at a T50 school seems like unnecessary stress.

If it's the kid truly driving the process, then go for it. But just make sure you kid realizes that even with high stats, it really is a "lottery", unless they have an amazing hook. So be sure to select several REAL targets and Safety schools that your kid would be thrilled to attend. Set the expectations well, so that if all 12 send rejections, your kid isn't devastated come April 1.

Also have discussions regarding finances well ahead of time, and make sure your real targets and safeties include ones you can actually afford as a family. And if you could not possibly afford those 12 elite schools (and aren't eligible for financial aid) then explain that to your kid. I wouldn't want to put in all that work for a lottery, to only win the lottery and then be told "sorry but we can't afford it".

For example, my kid applied to 12 schools: got accepted at 8, waitlisted at 1, ultimately rejected from ED after being deferred and rejected from 2 Ivies (which kid didn't really want to attend). So in reality, my kid applied to 10, accepted at 6 and WL at 1 and rejected at ED choice ultimately. That's because we worked to select real Targets (with acceptance rates over 25%) and real safeties (with acceptance rates over 50%) that my kid actually liked. That's how it should be if you have a wide selection of schools in all tiers.

My kid would have been excited to attend 1 of their true safeties and actually considered it until March acceptance at school they will be attending.

Sorry!

It's not 'just the parents' pushing. The kids talk at school; they want to know where each other applied and whether or not they were accepted. Some of the curiosity is friendly, like a team sport and the kids are excited for each other and some of the curiosity is not. The question of 'who' will get in to the most selective schools looms for the whole grade and the teachers as well. Many high schools publish where their students have gotten in in the past five years, or publish where your kids has reported that they are going.

Then add your colleagues in to the mix; mine want to know. Then add any family members who 'couldn't care less (care intensely!)' about where your kid 'gets in'; they need to be able to humblebrag to their friends. The aunts and uncles want to validate whether their kids are better than the current generation or not. The concentric circles from DC extend to MA and FL. I can't even count how many times people have made snide or 'you must be joking' comments to me about the prospect that my kid will go to a '(dreadful) state school' not realizing that we are genuinely considering those options.

I agree. The senior T-shirt picnic is basically designed for average kids to feel bad about themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP here, largely toxic adults. Every time we see a friend, they will say things like DC is Harvard bound. Even though we know there is very little chance (almost perfect stat, national awards, incredible ECs, leadership). I just want it cut all those adults out of our lives. Those sad puppy words that they are sorry. I mean why? DC will be going to a great school and we are not allowed to be happy. I know. Don’t take their words. But one adult after another and another. These adults are toxic.

Wait, what are these conversations? So Larla Toxic says that her kid is Harvard-bound, you say where your kid is going, and Larla says “I’m sorry” back to you? And this happens over and over with different people in your life? Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was worse with the pandemic. My kid checked out and shut down. He got the school and package he wanted but it was a joyless and lonely process and year.

+1. Last year was so much worse.

Seeing all the prom-related and other special activities at our HS for Seniors this year, feeling bummed for all that DS missed last year. So thankful he attends a college with a welcoming and social dorm/campus environment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was worse with the pandemic. My kid checked out and shut down. He got the school and package he wanted but it was a joyless and lonely process and year.

+1. Last year was so much worse.

Seeing all the prom-related and other special activities at our HS for Seniors this year, feeling bummed for all that DS missed last year. So thankful he attends a college with a welcoming and social dorm/campus environment!

I would be surprised if any of those kids think about those things. One of my family members (and her mother) were obsessed about prom, homecoming, etc. etc. all the things she would miss. I chatted with her one day and told her how I was very excited about those things when I was in HS too. That's valid. BUT. As soon as that cap and gown was put away, I barely glanced backward for a minute to thing about high school. Any part of it. I had COLLEGE in front of me.

And you know what, that kid is in college now and having a great time. She doesn't miss HS even a little and does not feel "sad" over what she missed. You shouldn't either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was worse with the pandemic. My kid checked out and shut down. He got the school and package he wanted but it was a joyless and lonely process and year.

+1. Last year was so much worse.

Seeing all the prom-related and other special activities at our HS for Seniors this year, feeling bummed for all that DS missed last year. So thankful he attends a college with a welcoming and social dorm/campus environment!

I would be surprised if any of those kids think about those things. One of my family members (and her mother) were obsessed about prom, homecoming, etc. etc. all the things she would miss. I chatted with her one day and told her how I was very excited about those things when I was in HS too. That's valid. BUT. As soon as that cap and gown was put away, I barely glanced backward for a minute to thing about high school. Any part of it. I had COLLEGE in front of me.

And you know what, that kid is in college now and having a great time. She doesn't miss HS even a little and does not feel "sad" over what she missed. You shouldn't either.

I know this may come as a shock to you, but college is not all happy and rosy. A lot of kids seriously struggle socially in college compared to high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was worse with the pandemic. My kid checked out and shut down. He got the school and package he wanted but it was a joyless and lonely process and year.

+1. Last year was so much worse.

Seeing all the prom-related and other special activities at our HS for Seniors this year, feeling bummed for all that DS missed last year. So thankful he attends a college with a welcoming and social dorm/campus environment!

I would be surprised if any of those kids think about those things. One of my family members (and her mother) were obsessed about prom, homecoming, etc. etc. all the things she would miss. I chatted with her one day and told her how I was very excited about those things when I was in HS too. That's valid. BUT. As soon as that cap and gown was put away, I barely glanced backward for a minute to thing about high school. Any part of it. I had COLLEGE in front of me.

And you know what, that kid is in college now and having a great time. She doesn't miss HS even a little and does not feel "sad" over what she missed. You shouldn't either.

High school was superior to college for me in just about every way. My standard of living was way lower in college and I had to worry about paying for classes unlike in hs.

[Anonymous]

My DC got into a great school-- think Emory/UVa/Michigan/Georgetown- and is very excited about it after a really rough and stressful year. Also got waitlisted at Ivy where she is a legacy.

And/but, her dad, my ex, has been pressuring her to keep her grades up etc to maximize her chances of getting off the Ivy WL. I seriously want to murder him. I told him he needs to leave her alone and let her have her happiness about the great school she wants to attend without feeling like the pressure is still on. Odds of getting in off the Ivy WL are low in any case and she should now be celebrating and relaxing, not feeling anxious about whether her dad is happy. Did I already say I want to murder him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was worse with the pandemic. My kid checked out and shut down. He got the school and package he wanted but it was a joyless and lonely process and year.

+1. Last year was so much worse.

Seeing all the prom-related and other special activities at our HS for Seniors this year, feeling bummed for all that DS missed last year. So thankful he attends a college with a welcoming and social dorm/campus environment!

I would be surprised if any of those kids think about those things. One of my family members (and her mother) were obsessed about prom, homecoming, etc. etc. all the things she would miss. I chatted with her one day and told her how I was very excited about those things when I was in HS too. That's valid. BUT. As soon as that cap and gown was put away, I barely glanced backward for a minute to thing about high school. Any part of it. I had COLLEGE in front of me.

And you know what, that kid is in college now and having a great time. She doesn't miss HS even a little and does not feel "sad" over what she missed. You shouldn't either.

I know this may come as a shock to you, but college is not all happy and rosy. A lot of kids seriously struggle socially in college compared to high school.

You know nothing about how hard or easy my college experience was: newsflash, it was not rosy for a lot of reasons. And I STILL would not have gone back to HS or pined for it in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was worse with the pandemic. My kid checked out and shut down. He got the school and package he wanted but it was a joyless and lonely process and year.

+1. Last year was so much worse.

Seeing all the prom-related and other special activities at our HS for Seniors this year, feeling bummed for all that DS missed last year. So thankful he attends a college with a welcoming and social dorm/campus environment!

I would be surprised if any of those kids think about those things. One of my family members (and her mother) were obsessed about prom, homecoming, etc. etc. all the things she would miss. I chatted with her one day and told her how I was very excited about those things when I was in HS too. That's valid. BUT. As soon as that cap and gown was put away, I barely glanced backward for a minute to thing about high school. Any part of it. I had COLLEGE in front of me.

And you know what, that kid is in college now and having a great time. She doesn't miss HS even a little and does not feel "sad" over what she missed. You shouldn't either.

High school was superior to college for me in just about every way. My standard of living was way lower in college and I had to worry about paying for classes unlike in hs.

So you were sitting around thinking about proms gone by? Senior skip days? And all of those little traditions? Really?

That's too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was worse with the pandemic. My kid checked out and shut down. He got the school and package he wanted but it was a joyless and lonely process and year.

+1. Last year was so much worse.

Seeing all the prom-related and other special activities at our HS for Seniors this year, feeling bummed for all that DS missed last year. So thankful he attends a college with a welcoming and social dorm/campus environment!

I would be surprised if any of those kids think about those things. One of my family members (and her mother) were obsessed about prom, homecoming, etc. etc. all the things she would miss. I chatted with her one day and told her how I was very excited about those things when I was in HS too. That's valid. BUT. As soon as that cap and gown was put away, I barely glanced backward for a minute to thing about high school. Any part of it. I had COLLEGE in front of me.

And you know what, that kid is in college now and having a great time. She doesn't miss HS even a little and does not feel "sad" over what she missed. You shouldn't either.

High school was superior to college for me in just about every way. My standard of living was way lower in college and I had to worry about paying for classes unlike in hs.

So you were sitting around thinking about proms gone by? Senior skip days? And all of those little traditions? Really?

That's too bad.

No. But I hated sharing a room, eating sh*t cafeteria food, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did it kill his spirit? My kid will be a senior next year. Has the application process gotten worse since we were kids?

The process is easier. Fill out one application and write an essay or two and hit submit. I remember filling out 6-8 different applications and maybe 1-2 of the schools had the same essay. There was only regular decision back then so we were doing this smack dab in the middle of senior year. Not fun. My senior wrote his essay at the end of junior year and had his English teacher read it and comment. He filled out the Common App in August and that was it.

I'm glad your senior only had to write one essay, but that's not accurate for many kids. My senior only applied to 5 schools, all in-state. This required:

1 650-word essay (Common App)

PLUS
1 additional 650-word essay
2 350-word essays
4 200-word essays
3-page honors college essay

None of these could be repurposed as the prompts were pretty specific.

That's nothing compared to what many of her friends had to do.

+1

PLUS entering their entire HS transcript, data entry style, line by line for each class, every semester, every grade even though that info is sent by the HS in support of the applications as well

Is this something my younger DC can start now? Things like entering their grades each semester into the common app?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was worse with the pandemic. My kid checked out and shut down. He got the school and package he wanted but it was a joyless and lonely process and year.

+1. Last year was so much worse.

Seeing all the prom-related and other special activities at our HS for Seniors this year, feeling bummed for all that DS missed last year. So thankful he attends a college with a welcoming and social dorm/campus environment!

I would be surprised if any of those kids think about those things. One of my family members (and her mother) were obsessed about prom, homecoming, etc. etc. all the things she would miss. I chatted with her one day and told her how I was very excited about those things when I was in HS too. That's valid. BUT. As soon as that cap and gown was put away, I barely glanced backward for a minute to thing about high school. Any part of it. I had COLLEGE in front of me.

And you know what, that kid is in college now and having a great time. She doesn't miss HS even a little and does not feel "sad" over what she missed. You shouldn't either.

High school was superior to college for me in just about every way. My standard of living was way lower in college and I had to worry about paying for classes unlike in hs.

So you were sitting around thinking about proms gone by? Senior skip days? And all of those little traditions? Really?

That's too bad.

No. But I hated sharing a room, eating sh*t cafeteria food, etc.

Awww. You poor thing.