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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love how the answer on DCUM is always to have your kid set their sights lower as a way of finding happiness. If you have a high stats kid who has a shot at a T10 school, is it always a better decision to throw away your lottery ticket? I agree that it's a fine decision to ED at somewhere a little safer to just be finished with the process, but if a kid wants to try to get into their dream school, I don't think that there's anything wrong with it. Most students at HYPS, etc. are there because they won a lottery. Is it better not to try??

My kid applied to 12 schools and it was a slog. Yes, it was a choice, but it was a slog nonetheless. 28 extra essays, doing extra essays/interviews when some of their target and match schools identified them as scholarship candidates, etc. At the end of it all, my kid got into two top schools. Was it worth some misery during senior year for him to reach for the stars, yes. But that doesn't mean that the process isn't absolutely miserable.

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It depends---Who actually has their sights set on the T10 school?  The kid, or is it really the parents pushing it and the kid just wants to please mommy/daddy?  
Because going thru that process with 28 extra essays if the kid would actually be happier at a T50 school seems like unnecessary stress.

If it's the kid truly driving the process, then go for it.  But just make sure you kid realizes that even with high stats, it really is a "lottery", unless they have an amazing hook.  So be sure to select several REAL targets and Safety schools that your kid would be thrilled to attend.  Set the expectations well, so that if all 12 send rejections, your kid isn't devastated come April 1.

Also have discussions regarding finances well ahead of time, and make sure your real targets and safeties include ones you can actually afford as a family.  And if you could not possibly afford those 12 elite schools (and aren't eligible for financial aid) then explain that to your kid.  I wouldn't want to put in all that work for a lottery, to only win the lottery and then be told "sorry but we can't afford it".

For example, my kid applied to 12 schools: got accepted at 8, waitlisted at 1, ultimately rejected from ED after being deferred and rejected from 2 Ivies (which kid didn't really want to attend).   So in reality, my kid applied to 10, accepted at 6 and WL at 1 and rejected at ED choice ultimately.  That's because we worked to select real Targets (with acceptance rates over 25%)  and real safeties (with acceptance rates over 50%) that my kid actually liked.  That's how it should be if you have a wide selection of schools in all tiers.

My kid would have been excited to attend 1 of their true safeties and actually considered it until March acceptance at school they will be attending.

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Sorry!

It's not 'just the parents' pushing.  The kids talk at school; they want to know where each other applied and whether or not they were accepted.  Some of the curiosity is friendly, like a team sport and the kids are excited for each other and some of the curiosity is not.  The question of 'who' will get in to the most selective schools looms for the whole grade and the teachers as well.  Many high schools publish where their students have gotten in in the past five years, or publish where your kids has reported that they are going.

Then add your colleagues in to the mix; mine want to know.  Then add any family members who 'couldn't care less (care intensely!)' about where your kid 'gets in'; they need to be able to humblebrag to their friends.  The aunts and uncles want to validate whether their kids are better than the current generation or not.  The concentric circles from DC extend to MA and FL.  I can't even count how many times people have made snide or 'you must be joking' comments to me about the prospect that my kid will go to a '(dreadful) state school' not realizing that we are genuinely considering those options.  
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