College and University Discussion board has become toxic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like reading “real talk”. If I wanted to be told my kid with a 1500 and a 3.9 and lots of AP classes who is nice but nothing special is definitely getting into Harvard, I’d ask my parents, who think he’s getting into Harvard and Yale.

But because of this forum, I know my kid is a dime of dozen (well, one of 100,000), and will do great at UMD or Michigan State or wherever he ends up.

Same here. My DH thought our 4.2 1440 DD could get in anywhere. Being on here has helped me show him he's being unrealistic. It's also brings us down to earth when kids with higher stats have gotten rejected from some of the same places DD has.

I did quit the forum for a while in the Fall. I posted something that led to 18 pages of vitriol, 95% of which was people misreading what I wrote or making wrong assumptions, which seems to be the MO of most DCUM posters.

I can never tell if it is willful misinformation, abysmal reading comprehension, or possibly both. I posted something - also back in the fall - and I was torched for five pages until someone finally said "wait a minute, that is not at all what the PP wrote." Then another few pages of people arguing with this PP as they clung to their misreading of my post.

It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

The comments can be kind of mean. I still come here after leaving the DMV. It is a great reminder of why we moved out of the area. What I lived there has become a source of entertainment as I watch other people live the same problems in real time. I take everything here with a grain of salt. It has been useful for this year's college discussion since I have HS kids, including a senior who is already admitted to a good university. It's the display of rampant neuroses that keep me coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Congrats - you've made what once a helpful place to share and provide information into a toxic environment mirroring the worst of College Confidential.

Logging off until June - have at it!!

You should complain to Website Feedback. This forum used to be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC area people do NOT like to see other people do well, at all.
They can't be happy for others, they do not have it in them. Such a sad existence, really.

If your kid does well they want to think it is because of this or that - not because that kid is the top of their class in.......well, everything.

Maybe a certain school just liked your kid and what your kid has to offer, and your kid is a good fit. Imagine that! GL OP and everyone else who is at a healthy state in their lives.

Also, I don't understand parents who have to have a certain profession for themselves (they barely made it), didn't do well, and now they think their kid is going to HYPSM. It doesn't work that way. And that is okay.

English please.

Strivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The comments can be kind of mean. I still come here after leaving the DMV. It is a great reminder of why we moved out of the area. What I lived there has become a source of entertainment as I watch other people live the same problems in real time. I take everything here with a grain of salt. It has been useful for this year's college discussion since I have HS kids, including a senior who is already admitted to a good university. It's the display of rampant neuroses that keep me coming back.

x1000000

Misery loves company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like reading “real talk”. If I wanted to be told my kid with a 1500 and a 3.9 and lots of AP classes who is nice but nothing special is definitely getting into Harvard, I’d ask my parents, who think he’s getting into Harvard and Yale.

But because of this forum, I know my kid is a dime of dozen (well, one of 100,000), and will do great at UMD or Michigan State or wherever he ends up.

Same here. My DH thought our 4.2 1440 DD could get in anywhere. Being on here has helped me show him he's being unrealistic. It's also brings us down to earth when kids with higher stats have gotten rejected from some of the same places DD has.

I did quit the forum for a while in the Fall. I posted something that led to 18 pages of vitriol, 95% of which was people misreading what I wrote or making wrong assumptions, which seems to be the MO of most DCUM posters.

I can never tell if it is willful misinformation, abysmal reading comprehension, or possibly both. I posted something - also back in the fall - and I was torched for five pages until someone finally said "wait a minute, that is not at all what the PP wrote." Then another few pages of people arguing with this PP as they clung to their misreading of my post.

It is what it is.

+1

Happens often!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like reading “real talk”. If I wanted to be told my kid with a 1500 and a 3.9 and lots of AP classes who is nice but nothing special is definitely getting into Harvard, I’d ask my parents, who think he’s getting into Harvard and Yale.

But because of this forum, I know my kid is a dime of dozen (well, one of 100,000), and will do great at UMD or Michigan State or wherever he ends up.

Same here. My DH thought our 4.2 1440 DD could get in anywhere. Being on here has helped me show him he's being unrealistic. It's also brings us down to earth when kids with higher stats have gotten rejected from some of the same places DD has.

I did quit the forum for a while in the Fall. I posted something that led to 18 pages of vitriol, 95% of which was people misreading what I wrote or making wrong assumptions, which seems to be the MO of most DCUM posters.

I can never tell if it is willful misinformation, abysmal reading comprehension, or possibly both. I posted something - also back in the fall - and I was torched for five pages until someone finally said "wait a minute, that is not at all what the PP wrote." Then another few pages of people arguing with this PP as they clung to their misreading of my post.

It is what it is.

This showed up in recent topics so I read it. Though it didn’t happen in the college forum, I had an issue like this and the person was so nasty. Basically, I’m a teacher, but I didn’t work last year. I had a friend give birth and she felt that qualified her for an early vaccine. Then, she started pressuring me about cutting the line because I could say that I’m a teacher. I felt that wasn’t ethical since it wasn’t true at the time. This person was so pissed about how I’m not the same as my friend, wasn’t a teacher right now, didn’t deserve to cut the line, and shouldn’t be picking on a new mom. It was really off-putting that this poster could be so angry about someone he/she didn’t know AND couldn’t be bothered to even comprehend the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a few people who post as if they are the authority on how all colleges do things and lambast anyone who shares observations or things they've heard that contradict them.

When those people are on a roll, I just close the browser and take a break for a while.

+1

The Haters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on DCUM since 2004, when it had an email listserv format option.

I stay because even with the eye-watering toxicity, DCUM will give you kernels of really, really useful and truthful information that you can't get anywhere else (unless you have 1,000 friends IRL and you talk to all of them, constantly). The College forum is a textbook case for this, along with a few others like Private Schools. DCPS Schools, too.

Same — I remember the listserve emails well. Every time I think I should quit DCUM because people are so darn mean, I come across an extremely useful bit of information.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like reading “real talk”. If I wanted to be told my kid with a 1500 and a 3.9 and lots of AP classes who is nice but nothing special is definitely getting into Harvard, I’d ask my parents, who think he’s getting into Harvard and Yale.

But because of this forum, I know my kid is a dime of dozen (well, one of 100,000), and will do great at UMD or Michigan State or wherever he ends up.

Same here. My DH thought our 4.2 1440 DD could get in anywhere. Being on here has helped me show him he's being unrealistic. It's also brings us down to earth when kids with higher stats have gotten rejected from some of the same places DD has.

I did quit the forum for a while in the Fall. I posted something that led to 18 pages of vitriol, 95% of which was people misreading what I wrote or making wrong assumptions, which seems to be the MO of most DCUM posters.

I can never tell if it is willful misinformation, abysmal reading comprehension, or possibly both. I posted something - also back in the fall - and I was torched for five pages until someone finally said "wait a minute, that is not at all what the PP wrote." Then another few pages of people arguing with this PP as they clung to their misreading of my post.

It is what it is.

This showed up in recent topics so I read it. Though it didn’t happen in the college forum, I had an issue like this and the person was so nasty. Basically, I’m a teacher, but I didn’t work last year. I had a friend give birth and she felt that qualified her for an early vaccine. Then, she started pressuring me about cutting the line because I could say that I’m a teacher. I felt that wasn’t ethical since it wasn’t true at the time. This person was so pissed about how I’m not the same as my friend, wasn’t a teacher right now, didn’t deserve to cut the line, and shouldn’t be picking on a new mom. It was really off-putting that this poster could be so angry about someone he/she didn’t know AND couldn’t be bothered to even comprehend the situation.

When a post shows up in Recent Topics and everyone starts to chime in- that’s the worst.

[Anonymous]

I posted a thread about a year ago about my daughter (from the Northeast) considering going to an SEC school and rushing.

It got chaotic, to say the least.

[Anonymous]

The a-holery of posters on this forum is basically DCUM writ large. The moderator found a way to monetize the insecurity, competitiveness, and general douchiness of DC-area residents, so props for that, but it's ugly and toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like reading “real talk”. If I wanted to be told my kid with a 1500 and a 3.9 and lots of AP classes who is nice but nothing special is definitely getting into Harvard, I’d ask my parents, who think he’s getting into Harvard and Yale.

But because of this forum, I know my kid is a dime of dozen (well, one of 100,000), and will do great at UMD or Michigan State or wherever he ends up.

You again? You just have to have a go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been on DCUM since 2004, when it had an email listserv format option.

I stay because even with the eye-watering toxicity, DCUM will give you kernels of really, really useful and truthful information that you can't get anywhere else (unless you have 1,000 friends IRL and you talk to all of them, constantly). The College forum is a textbook case for this, along with a few others like Private Schools. DCPS Schools, too.

As Al (from Happy Days) would say, "Yup, yup, yup."