Why are people in DC (Tenleytown, AU Park, Friendship) so mean and rude

[Anonymous]

If people are so well educated here, why do they act like they aren't?

[Anonymous]

Go to Trader Joes (except on Sunday late afternoons). They have good karma or something there. I even used to bring a toddler on weekend mornings to the Foggy Bottom store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If people are so well educated here, why do they act like they aren't?

There's a difference between being well educated and being over educated-that's one of the big problems around here.

[Anonymous]

"Really? This whole thread and all the nasty replies. Why?

This is generally a transient area with well educated, busy people. Most don't have deep roots and strong ties to the area or its people. I think theses are all factors in one way or another to the general behavior observed. "

OP: I have lived in the neighborhood for 17 years, but I am over by Connecticut Ave. I think the PP I have quoted has hit the nail on the head. There really is something unfriendly about Tenleytown. it even shows up in the local list serve where folks can be pilloried for having opinions opposite some of the board's frequent denizens.

I also think it is a class issue - folks west of Tenley have money and status. They can afford Whole Foods and Bloomingdale's and other stores. They are important people and self-absorbed.

I can only say that I like living down in my condo on Connecticut. People along that stretch are different ages, places, stages in life. Many of us don't own cars or only have one. Lots of folks bought their houses before the boom and it was less desirable than AU Park and also cheaper. You hit on something here. I finally have anchored my neighborhood social life on a nice church, great people in the building, friendly local store owners who now know me and DS school.

My DH is a native and these days I hate getting in a car with him driving - the place has changed and people are rude in the car around here - and he is equally rude back. I'm cringing from it all. But he has taught me to say hello to strangers, be patient (outside the car) and have a certain courtesy.

Other parts of DC are not as bad as Tenley. Please know that I'm the one holding the door for you and the baby stroller. We're here - just not obvious with all the AU students and others.

I try to stay out of Whole Foods since people there are very snobby - though lately the Safeway is so understaffed that what was once a pleasant shopping experience has sent me anywhere else. And the Giant at Friendship Heights used to have a lot of people from all over the city, but it seems to now have changed clientele and isn't pleasant either. We've been using Chevy Chase Supermarket if we have time for a trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"

I try to stay out of Whole Foods since people there are very snobby - though lately the Safeway is so understaffed that what was once a pleasant shopping experience has sent me anywhere else. And the Giant at Friendship Heights used to have a lot of people from all over the city, but it seems to now have changed clientele and isn't pleasant either. We've been using Chevy Chase Supermarket if we have time for a trip.

PP, not trying to be snarky here, but are you really staying out of a grocery store just because the clientele there is snobby? I don't shop at WF too often because I don't think I'm getting a good value for my money. WF is horrendously overpriced.

But that's just me.

[Anonymous]

7:21 - I know over educated very well. That is not the case here. I know something about how people act when they have parents. Manners mean something very different here. Manners are shunned here. A pissing contest is not manners. Acting the way people do here in public is not manners. Being civil is manners. How one treats others and conducts oneself is manners. It is extremely primitive here. My dogs and cats have more etiquette and civility.

D.C. people are not in danger of having too much education or manners. Their problem is that they think they are. Many think they are more than they are. Look around, it's all dime a dozen lawyers. This from a lawyer. Are you that easily impressed?

People here seem sheltered and coddled - neither of which suggest education or manners. It is often an endless pissing contest. Look around. I really don't think their parents served them well by spoiling them, leaving them with so few coping mechanisms and social graces. Just an observation.

People here can make complete asses out of themselves without even realizing it. Especially the ones who deflect and try to say it is the other person (the one who notices their ill behavior, ironically). No wisdom at all.

This is not to say everyone here is like that. Just enough people to give D.C. a bad stereotype outside of D.C. But people in D.C. seem to enjoy having a negative stereotype, for some odd reason.

I would be far more impressed if people here were in fact (over?!) educated or showed manners or wisdom, but it's just not here. Maybe you haven't been here long enough to see for yourself.

[Anonymous]

While I agree with some of what you are saying, I think there might have been some miscommunication between us as to what the difference is between well educated and over educated. The people I know who I consider well educated have focused on that which is enlightening and interesting to them. They are very happy to talk about what they love and have mostly impeccable manners as well as ethics. The over educated are a little bit more bourgeois. Education is a means to an end for them. A way to make money, lord "respectability" over others, and a desperate attempt to keep up with the Joneses. They are too stressed out to have considerations for others, they are the ones on their cell phones crossing busy intersections without ever looking up. They can negotiate a plea bargain but can't tie their own shoes or raise their own children by themselves. However, by saying your dog or cat has better manners sort of makes you one of them in terms of self-assumed superiority. People here may be sheltered physically, but emotionally they are homeless. I feel better when I step back and realize that everyone's reality is very real to THEM. And really, manners on the beltway? Sure, if you don't care if you get home until next week. Peace out, dude.

[Anonymous]

Children do not come into this world with good or bad manners, it's up to their parents to teach them how to behave.

Everyone has stress but that does not justify screaming at anyone; breaking in line anywhere; flipping the bird at anytime one is harried; and, any other rude gesture. If I let this behavior get to me then it ruins the rest of my day and that gives someone a lot of power over me and then that makes me even angrier. I've learned to say a silent "God bless you" when I encounter rude manners. This helps me a lot and maybe it will help others.

Nevertheless, yesterday, I witnessed something truly disgusting and I did not remain silent.

In the parking lot of a suburban Safeway, I was walking to my car and saw a woman changinng a dirty diaper with the child in a grocery cart. That was bad enough but when she finished she wadded up baby wipes with dirty diaper and left it the cart. I sputtered in a loud voice, "What on earth are you doing? That is disgusting. Safeway has a changng table in the ladies room." Her response was, "Not that it is any of your business but I don't want to expose my child to the germs from other babies."

I returned to store and told a manager so they disinfect the cart and pointed her out to them. Maybe I should have just gone on my own way but this was beyond the bounds of what I could tolerate. What would any of you have done?

[Anonymous]

"PP, not trying to be snarky here, but are you really staying out of a grocery store just because the clientele there is snobby? I don't shop at WF too often because I don't think I'm getting a good value for my money. WF is horrendously overpriced.

But that's just me."

I am staying out of Tenley WF for both the prices and atmosphere. I am all for healthy food and in fact, we lived near a very well know health food store in the 70s in NYC growing up. My mother was a big proponent or organic then. But there is something about the shoppers that turns me off. People are rude in the parking lot, though we occasionally go on foot. These days, I go in to get a few items I cannot find elsewhere and try to get out as soon as I can. I worked in retail at various points PT in college. You want to go to a store where you feel comfortable on various levels and WF doesn't do it for me.

However, the Safeway - which was once pleasant, well-stocked and less chaotic than the one(s) on Connecticut has also become unpleasant. They don't have enough staff to keep shelves full and not enough cashiers. It's become painful to be there.

[Anonymous]

I manage to go to supermarkets and take back zero impression of the "atmosphere" as it describes other shoppers. I do what I need to do and leave. I find Tenley WF can be a decently quick in and out if necessary, and I can usually find what I need. (I go to P St. more often, where actually, it can be crowded to the point that it challenges my progress and I sometimes can't find what I'm looking for.) In both places, however, I haven't observed any occasions of rudeness that were memorable in any way. I'm not there for people-watching, I don't scan fellow shoppers' faces for evidence of silent "entitlement", and no one interferes with my accomplishing my errand.

I think OP must be looking through the lens of her own disenchantment with the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"

I try to stay out of Whole Foods since people there are very snobby - though lately the Safeway is so understaffed that what was once a pleasant shopping experience has sent me anywhere else. And the Giant at Friendship Heights used to have a lot of people from all over the city, but it seems to now have changed clientele and isn't pleasant either. We've been using Chevy Chase Supermarket if we have time for a trip.

PP, not trying to be snarky here, but are you really staying out of a grocery store just because the clientele there is snobby? I don't shop at WF too often because I don't think I'm getting a good value for my money. WF is horrendously overpriced.

But that's just me.

You must not shop at WF very often, because this is objectively untrue. At least when comparing comparable items. Granted the rotten produce in your average Safeway is cheaper than the beautiful organic stuff in WF, but then, sometimes you get what you pay for.

[Anonymous]

So, the new Safeway in Georgetown (well, Glover Park) opens today.

PLEASE only nice people go there. We need to get the ambience set from the start. A bad reputation could ruin it for us locals. Stay away if you're hassled.

(And for those who take everything too seriously - I'm just kidding!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I manage to go to supermarkets and take back zero impression of the "atmosphere" as it describes other shoppers. I do what I need to do and leave. I find Tenley WF can be a decently quick in and out if necessary, and I can usually find what I need. (I go to P St. more often, where actually, it can be crowded to the point that it challenges my progress and I sometimes can't find what I'm looking for.) In both places, however, I haven't observed any occasions of rudeness that were memorable in any way. I'm not there for people-watching, I don't scan fellow shoppers' faces for evidence of silent "entitlement", and no one interferes with my accomplishing my errand.

I think OP must be looking through the lens of her own disenchantment with the neighborhood.

Agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, I love living in this area, but sometimes I see these really grumpy old ladies around here (the areas you mention) and worry I'm going to turn into that if I live here too long ... !! Yes, there's a sense of entitlement around here. But I think there are enough nice people to get past it. I try to remember not to join in the grumpiness! But perhaps I'm part of it when I've had a bad day .... ?

I was thinking this earlier in the week .. if I was going to become a grumpy, bitchy old lady when I hit my 50s. My neighbor is a bit of a bitch. A senior level exec in her 50s is a bitch. ... but then, men are probably as aloof and bitchy too but we overlook it.

[Anonymous]

OP here again.My examples about the stores weren't to critique Whole Foods vs Giant (in Mclean everyone shops at Giant) but that is one of the most social venues where people are in contact with each other. I'm not really looking to become best friends with my neighbors or people I meet on the street but sometimes I really think that there isn't any common courtesy on this side of town. I grew up in the South where it is a social faux pas to now hold the door open for someone, or say hello when you get on an elevator, not because you know or like the person but just some common respect and acknowledgment that there is another human being next to you. I don't understand how you can live next door to someone or across the street from them and pretend that they don't exist. I've met a lot of nice people but I think they are the minority.