Why are people in DC (Tenleytown, AU Park, Friendship) so mean and rude

[Anonymous]

PP here from the Chevy Chase / Friendship Hts area. I don't get it either, OP, your quote below. It's is certifiably strange to me that neighbors 2 doors down do not say 'hello' when you pass on the sidewalk. Like you, I am not looking to be BFF with them or chat them to death or ask for a favor. Is that what they fear so much that they're willing to never make eye contact?

I don't understand how you can live next door to someone or across the street from them and pretend that they don't exist.

One thing my DH and I have noted over and over again -- in this particular part of town -- is that the baby boomers are the worst. Say people currently ages 50 - 63.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again.My examples about the stores weren't to critique Whole Foods vs Giant (in Mclean everyone shops at Giant) but that is one of the most social venues where people are in contact with each other. I'm not really looking to become best friends with my neighbors or people I meet on the street but sometimes I really think that there isn't any common courtesy on this side of town. I grew up in the South where it is a social faux pas to now hold the door open for someone, or say hello when you get on an elevator, not because you know or like the person but just some common respect and acknowledgment that there is another human being next to you. I don't understand how you can live next door to someone or across the street from them and pretend that they don't exist. I've met a lot of nice people but I think they are the minority.

I figured as much from your expectations. The thing is, in your current surroundings, other people don't share this expectation and intend to have business interactions to accomplish specific goals that don't necessarily come with a helping of socializing.

"Rude" can be defined differently in different cultures. Find fulfillment in something other than being acknowledged as "another human being" on elevators. I'm not making eye contact because where I come from, it's more polite to offer you the fiction of personal space and not bother you with my small talk.

[Anonymous]

Letting a door slam in someone's face is rude. I grew up in the south as well and it was drummed into my head, "if you don't have anything else, have good manners." 23:56 Idon't know where you are from but I've lived in Europe, Japan, North Africa, and in all these cultures good manners are the same. I have also lived in six different states and experienced the same manner of politeness.

A man stopped at a gas station and told the attendant he was moving to his city and asked what the people were like, because where he was moving from the people were mean, unfriendly, and rude. The attendant told him he' find the same kind of people in this town.

Another man stoped at same gas station later and asked attendant the samne question and added, "I hate to leave our old town because everybody was so nice and friendly and helpful neighbors. The attendant told the man, "you won't be disappoited because the same kind of people live here."

The mesage is pretty clear--you will find in people exactly what you are looking for and you get from them exactly what you are giving them.

[Anonymous]

There is a disproportionate number of miserable, frustrated people in this area who have realized they haven't accomplished what mommy and daddy thought their coddled asses would achieve. All ages. It's pretty obvious, and it's pretty funny to watch their reactions and lack of graciousness. It's not about you, it's about them. Take it as funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The rudest people in Whole Foods I've encountered are white French speaking people. They behave often like rude children which looks pretty stupid.

Try living in Paris even if you speak French. A cab driver once corrected my pronuncition. I didn't give him a tip and did he scream. started yelling

If your French is as bad as your English spelling and punctuation, I would have started screaming too.[/qu

Why are you attacking this PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Letting a door slam in someone's face is rude. I grew up in the south as well and it was drummed into my head, "if you don't have anything else, have good manners." 23:56 Idon't know where you are from but I've lived in Europe, Japan, North Africa, and in all these cultures good manners are the same. I have also lived in six different states and experienced the same manner of politeness.

A man stopped at a gas station and told the attendant he was moving to his city and asked what the people were like, because where he was moving from the people were mean, unfriendly, and rude. The attendant told him he' find the same kind of people in this town.

Another man stoped at same gas station later and asked attendant the samne question and added, "I hate to leave our old town because everybody was so nice and friendly and helpful neighbors. The attendant told the man, "you won't be disappoited because the same kind of people live here."

The mesage is pretty clear--you will find in people exactly what you are looking for and you get from them exactly what you are giving them.

Actually, I'm 23:56 and have lived on 3 continents (though only briefly and painfully on the Southern part of this one-- DC excluded for present purposes), and have found that local customs can differ considerably from one place to another on the issue of whether it's polite to initiate eye contact or small talk with strangers. I'm not advocating slamming doors in people's faces, but I absolutely have lived in places where brushing past a slower shopper or pedestrian with a crisp "Sorry!" is perfectly acceptable. In these places, someone who walks down the street smiling and nodding at strangers (or neighbors who haven't been in introduced) is considered a bit goofy. The neighborhoods OP discusses have a something of an identity crisis because they're neither urban nor technically suburban. As such, they're going to attract shoppers with both sets of social expectations, and some cultural clashes result.

[Anonymous]

Just adding that good manners are NOT the same in other respects, either, from culture to culture. Unless your formerly Southern self has lived in all those places within the bubble of an American military base, you'll know that there are places where showing the soles of your feet or eating with your left hand are pretty rude, or where a gesture that's polite in one place is obscene in another. How about the classic issue of whether or not it's polite to clean your plate? That varies from place to place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did the reverse move and moved in to DC from Va and We've noticed over the years that the people here are so unfriendly. In McLean people smile at you in Giant, or start a conversation in Total Wine, but watch out you might get run over in the Upper Wisconsin Whole foods parking lot or cut off trying to get an item in Friendship Safeway aisle. What gives?

Have you ever thought that if you find everyone rude that maybe, just maybe, the problem is with you?

[Anonymous]

18:23 - you must be the same person who posts "maybe it's you" on each such post! What is your problem exactly, because more likely, it is you. People are entitled to their opinion, whether or not you agree. So sad for you that not everyone subscribes to your point of view, but such is life.

This does happen to be a rather unhappy corner of the world. Thankfully a rather small corner for those of us who have resided elsewhere.

I have never seen grown adults "act out" in public as they do in this area. Courtesy and consideration is not misconstrued as rude anywhere - to your chagrin.

OP, I and many agree with your perspective. Your parents did an amazing job, since you have the social intelligence and grace to recognize this. Whether or not you choose to stay here, always try to keep your manners. They are a gift that not many here have.

One would think that if this area is so educated (it's not, compared to other areas, but thinks it is) - it would at the very least have more manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
18:23 - you must be the same person who posts "maybe it's you" on each such post! What is your problem exactly, because more likely, it is you. People are entitled to their opinion, whether or not you agree. So sad for you that not everyone subscribes to your point of view, but such is life.

This does happen to be a rather unhappy corner of the world. Thankfully a rather small corner for those of us who have resided elsewhere.

I have never seen grown adults "act out" in public as they do in this area. Courtesy and consideration is not misconstrued as rude anywhere - to your chagrin.

OP, I and many agree with your perspective. Your parents did an amazing job, since you have the social intelligence and grace to recognize this. Whether or not you choose to stay here, always try to keep your manners. They are a gift that not many here have.

One would think that if this area is so educated (it's not, compared to other areas, but thinks it is) - it would at the very least have more manners.

Manners are not a gift, they are learned responses; children are not born with good or bad manners. Manners, courtesy, consideration for others, honesty, are taught by the adults in achild's life--parents, other adult relatives, teachers in school and in church.

"Everything I Needed to Know, I learned in Kindergarten" says it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
18:23 - you must be the same person who posts "maybe it's you" on each such post! What is your problem exactly, because more likely, it is you. People are entitled to their opinion, whether or not you agree. So sad for you that not everyone subscribes to your point of view, but such is life.

This does happen to be a rather unhappy corner of the world. Thankfully a rather small corner for those of us who have resided elsewhere.

I have never seen grown adults "act out" in public as they do in this area. Courtesy and consideration is not misconstrued as rude anywhere - to your chagrin.

OP, I and many agree with your perspective. Your parents did an amazing job, since you have the social intelligence and grace to recognize this. Whether or not you choose to stay here, always try to keep your manners. They are a gift that not many here have.

One would think that if this area is so educated (it's not, compared to other areas, but thinks it is) - it would at the very least have more manners.

This is absurd.

[Anonymous]

Some people here are coddled and really disappointed their parents. Hence the bitterness. See 10:28.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The rudest people in Whole Foods I've encountered are white French speaking people. They behave often like rude children which looks pretty stupid.

Im white and french but my parents raised me to be polite to people, so Im sorry to hear that. When you're in whole foods you're gonna see quite a few homegrown self entitled assholes too. I think there's something about this town that brings out the worst in people lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here from the Chevy Chase / Friendship Hts area. I don't get it either, OP, your quote below. It's is certifiably strange to me that neighbors 2 doors down do not say 'hello' when you pass on the sidewalk. Like you, I am not looking to be BFF with them or chat them to death or ask for a favor. Is that what they fear so much that they're willing to never make eye contact?

I don't understand how you can live next door to someone or across the street from them and pretend that they don't exist.

One thing my DH and I have noted over and over again -- in this particular part of town -- is that the baby boomers are the worst. Say people currently ages 50 - 63.

I agree, the orst people in DC seem to live in upper northwest, Tenley, Cleveland park and the like. A bunch of rude wannabes, renting overpriced roach-infested appartments, or leaving in ugly overpriced houses and feeling entitled. Morons..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. The Whole Foods in Tenleytown is a rude nightmare. I find the one in Glover Park ("Georgetown") not good either, but certainly not as hideous. I think it's the bad feng shui of the Tenleytown store that brings out the worst in people. The layout/lighting/room to move in that store is awful.

This is the problem. The minute I walk in that store I feel like the person behind me is nipping at my heels and it just spurs me on to start careening around corners to just get out of there. The aisle are so close together and jammed with extra stacks of unmarked merchandise. Illogical items are placed next to each other. The cash registers are too close to the doors. I despise going there. BUT I DO IT ANYWAY.