If you had an “oops/surprise” baby & ended up with your significant other/married, how is it going

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Having sex can lead to pregnancy. Therefore, unless one didn’t know they had sex, how is a pregnancy a surprise?

Why argue semantics? Everyone knows that "surprise" in this case means "unintentional".

Usually the people who argue "omg sex=babies!" have some sort of hidden agenda, and that's usually passing judgement on women for having sex for pleasure rather than procreation. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Having sex can lead to pregnancy. Therefore, unless one didn’t know they had sex, how is a pregnancy a surprise?

Why argue semantics? Everyone knows that "surprise" in this case means "unintentional".

Usually the people who argue "omg sex=babies!" have some sort of hidden agenda, and that's usually passing judgement on women for having sex for pleasure rather than procreation. Who cares?

No, it’s the stupidity that people are surprised intentionally or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Having sex can lead to pregnancy. Therefore, unless one didn’t know they had sex, how is a pregnancy a surprise?

Sometimes, contraceptives fail.

Not at the rate as these “surprise” pregnancies.

How can you determine the rate of surprise on an anonymous message board with three pages? By posters divided by views? Do you account for people online who are not clicking the thread, because they do not GAF?

- reader of thread who has not responded

I remember awhile back someone posted an article with graphs that showed the failure rate on contraceptives over 20 years. Since the failure rate is measure in percentage per year, when you take into account the number of years women are sexually active, the number of women who get pregnant even while on contraception is very high. So like, if the pill has a failure rate of 2% per year, and you have 100 women, 2 will get pregnant each year. Over 20 years, that's 40 women out of the 100. Even over 10 years, that's 20 women.

I've known a LOT of women who got pregnant even while on BC, with an IUD, etc, including myself. Very weird how some people like to pass judgement, like all us women are just dying to trap a man

That’s why when I was on the pill we also used condoms.

Of course some people do get pregnant while using contraception but it’s usually due to human error (condom was defective, BC pill was missed one day or taken at the wrong time, took antibiotics w BC pill and didn’t realize that effected protection, etc)

[Anonymous]

My nephew was born even though my SIL was on Nuvaring. She and my brother had only been dating for 6 months when she got pregnant. Ten years down the line they are happily married with 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Having sex can lead to pregnancy. Therefore, unless one didn’t know they had sex, how is a pregnancy a surprise?

Sometimes, contraceptives fail.

Not at the rate as these “surprise” pregnancies.

How can you determine the rate of surprise on an anonymous message board with three pages? By posters divided by views? Do you account for people online who are not clicking the thread, because they do not GAF?

- reader of thread who has not responded

I remember awhile back someone posted an article with graphs that showed the failure rate on contraceptives over 20 years. Since the failure rate is measure in percentage per year, when you take into account the number of years women are sexually active, the number of women who get pregnant even while on contraception is very high. So like, if the pill has a failure rate of 2% per year, and you have 100 women, 2 will get pregnant each year. Over 20 years, that's 40 women out of the 100. Even over 10 years, that's 20 women.

I've known a LOT of women who got pregnant even while on BC, with an IUD, etc, including myself. Very weird how some people like to pass judgement, like all us women are just dying to trap a man

That’s why when I was on the pill we also used condoms.

Of course some people do get pregnant while using contraception but it’s usually due to human error (condom was defective, BC pill was missed one day or taken at the wrong time, took antibiotics w BC pill and didn’t realize that effected protection, etc)

Some data for you. Almost 80% of Americans are overweight and almost 40% are obese and contraception is not tested on heavy women. Because fat impacts hormones, the medical community is now figuring out that one size fits all for birth control is not working well. Plan B has significant failure rates in heavy women. The etonogestrel implant is not fully efective for the prescribed 3 year. It is harder to place an IUD on an obese woman, so the failure is greater.

[Anonymous]

Mid-20s birth control failure. Tried to make it work for 4 years and we were engaged. He tried to kill us by driving the car off the road and then beat me. He was convicted but got a slap on the wrist.

Took me 7 years to find the right man. From that moment onwards I was very careful about using multiple forms of birth control. Been pregnant 4 times, one without trying and 3 in the first month for over a decade.

[Anonymous]

Unhappily together not sure for how much longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Having sex can lead to pregnancy. Therefore, unless one didn’t know they had sex, how is a pregnancy a surprise?

Sometimes, contraceptives fail.

Not at the rate as these “surprise” pregnancies.

How can you determine the rate of surprise on an anonymous message board with three pages? By posters divided by views? Do you account for people online who are not clicking the thread, because they do not GAF?

- reader of thread who has not responded

I remember awhile back someone posted an article with graphs that showed the failure rate on contraceptives over 20 years. Since the failure rate is measure in percentage per year, when you take into account the number of years women are sexually active, the number of women who get pregnant even while on contraception is very high. So like, if the pill has a failure rate of 2% per year, and you have 100 women, 2 will get pregnant each year. Over 20 years, that's 40 women out of the 100. Even over 10 years, that's 20 women.

I've known a LOT of women who got pregnant even while on BC, with an IUD, etc, including myself. Very weird how some people like to pass judgement, like all us women are just dying to trap a man

That’s why when I was on the pill we also used condoms.

Of course some people do get pregnant while using contraception but it’s usually due to human error (condom was defective, BC pill was missed one day or taken at the wrong time, took antibiotics w BC pill and didn’t realize that effected protection, etc)

Some data for you. Almost 80% of Americans are overweight and almost 40% are obese and contraception is not tested on heavy women. Because fat impacts hormones, the medical community is now figuring out that one size fits all for birth control is not working well. Plan B has significant failure rates in heavy women. The etonogestrel implant is not fully efective for the prescribed 3 year. It is harder to place an IUD on an obese woman, so the failure is greater.

So sounds like obese women should use condoms…

[Anonymous]

had five more kids, got divorced 25 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Having sex can lead to pregnancy. Therefore, unless one didn’t know they had sex, how is a pregnancy a surprise?

Sometimes, contraceptives fail.

Not at the rate as these “surprise” pregnancies.

I’d like to agree, but most women are now too overweight for 70s-90s gen contraceptive technology to work effectively. For example, the morning after pill literally doesn’t work if you’re over 160lbs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Having sex can lead to pregnancy. Therefore, unless one didn’t know they had sex, how is a pregnancy a surprise?

Sometimes, contraceptives fail.

Not at the rate as these “surprise” pregnancies.

How can you determine the rate of surprise on an anonymous message board with three pages? By posters divided by views? Do you account for people online who are not clicking the thread, because they do not GAF?

- reader of thread who has not responded

I remember awhile back someone posted an article with graphs that showed the failure rate on contraceptives over 20 years. Since the failure rate is measure in percentage per year, when you take into account the number of years women are sexually active, the number of women who get pregnant even while on contraception is very high. So like, if the pill has a failure rate of 2% per year, and you have 100 women, 2 will get pregnant each year. Over 20 years, that's 40 women out of the 100. Even over 10 years, that's 20 women.

I've known a LOT of women who got pregnant even while on BC, with an IUD, etc, including myself. Very weird how some people like to pass judgement, like all us women are just dying to trap a man

That’s why when I was on the pill we also used condoms.

Of course some people do get pregnant while using contraception but it’s usually due to human error (condom was defective, BC pill was missed one day or taken at the wrong time, took antibiotics w BC pill and didn’t realize that effected protection, etc)

Some data for you. Almost 80% of Americans are overweight and almost 40% are obese and contraception is not tested on heavy women. Because fat impacts hormones, the medical community is now figuring out that one size fits all for birth control is not working well. Plan B has significant failure rates in heavy women. The etonogestrel implant is not fully efective for the prescribed 3 year. It is harder to place an IUD on an obese woman, so the failure is greater.

So sounds like obese women should use condoms…

Yes. However, it's new information and the doctors are not informing overweight patients (80% of the population) that the prescribed BC has higher than normal failure rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Having sex can lead to pregnancy. Therefore, unless one didn’t know they had sex, how is a pregnancy a surprise?

Sometimes, contraceptives fail.

Not at the rate as these “surprise” pregnancies.

I’d like to agree, but most women are now too overweight for 70s-90s gen contraceptive technology to work effectively. For example, the morning after pill literally doesn’t work if you’re over 160lbs!

Yep thats how I got pregnant. Broken condom and morning after pill within 12 hours. 4 weeks later pregnant.

[Anonymous]

My parents—together 3 years. My mom intensionally got pregnant to get my dad to marry her. 50+ years later they are still together, but miserable. And their miserable marriage messed me up. After about 25 years of a highly volatile marriage, they seemed to make peace with being stuck with each other and it just became low level misery.

[Anonymous]

I was an "oops" baby, and made damn sure I didn't repeat that nonsense.

[Anonymous]

It’s been so hard that I can’t bring myself to read the other replies