My kid isn't getting in

[Anonymous]

If it’s any consolation to the OP, our DS isn’t in anywhere yet. He’s in a private here. We will end up full pay so that certainly hasn’t helped at all to this point. Hopefully he will get a couple of acceptances later this spring. This is a very difficult year, and even kids with amazing stats are getting deferred and rejected right and left—unless they have a hook. Your son is not alone.

[Anonymous]

I think one problem here is the "pity party" doesn't officially end until April 1. Or even later if OPs son is waitlisted. It's to adjust to the likely reality hard knowing there is some, albeit slim hope out there for a more preferable outcome.

He's not getting into the schools his stats would normally open doors for. It's a crappy year.

[Anonymous]

oh grow up op (and your kid). cp was hard even for my "99 percentile kid". it all depends on how much you want out of college. graduate with less than 3.0 gpa is easy. graduate with close to 4.0 gpa? freaking hard. it's hard on kids/parents not because they are fooled in some way. it's just that there are so many smarter kids out there. do not underestimate how hard college is

[Anonymous]

FWIW Wisconsin has a $5,000 grant they give to some out of state students, bringing it down to $51K. Which is like 15K less than the UC's and Michigan. And 20 K more than Maryland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here's the brutal truth. My kid is a 90% kid who thinks he's a 99% kid. 1500 SAT. 4.5W GPA with a solid rigor- 11 APs but not in hard science or math. He got into Scholars but not Honors at college park. Rejected from UVA. Neither outcome was unexpected, but both still hurt.

We paid for test prep. We paid for a college counselor. We paid for editors for the essay. We did not pay for private K-12. So recs were from public school teachers and administrators who are overworked and can't really glow even if they want to. We filled out a FAFSA.

He's getting rejected or deferred from everywhere (elite publics and privates) except safety schools. I know, it happens. I know we should have been prepared for this. It has to happen to someone.

And as special as my kid is, being 90th percentile in a world of 99.9th percentile can be a crappy feeling. Add to that not being full pay, not being a legacy, and not being a recruited athlete. I wish I could undo the last two years. I wish I could reset as the goal getting admitted to the state flagship and other out of state publics that offer merit aid and call it a day. That's good enough and trying to shoot for more is a dream that is largely reserved for the extra-brilliant, or the upper crust.

If I could do it over I would have him apply to Miami of Ohio and Wisconsin and Pitt and the other public schools that take a lot of kids from this area instead of all these crazy expensive private schools with much smaller classes where kids like him applying are a dime a dozen. At the time he didn't want to because he knew College Park is a better school than all these options. So he'd rather cast a wide net with the more selective private schools. But now it's coming down to the wire and it really feels like he will literally have NO choices. I am regretting his whole strategy. I just hope similar parents out there can hear this and inform their own choices.

That would describe a pretty good student, not a rock star student assuming MCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh grow up op (and your kid). cp was hard even for my "99 percentile kid". it all depends on how much you want out of college. graduate with less than 3.0 gpa is easy. graduate with close to 4.0 gpa? freaking hard. it's hard on kids/parents not because they are fooled in some way. it's just that there are so many smarter kids out there. do not underestimate how hard college is

DP, this is harsh. Haven't you ever felt rejection, if not from a college, a job or a romantic partner? OP and her DS are feeling that and are coming to terms with the option he has. She's just lamenting that he didn't choose more safety/low target options so he had some choice in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here's the brutal truth. My kid is a 90% kid who thinks he's a 99% kid. 1500 SAT. 4.5W GPA with a solid rigor- 11 APs but not in hard science or math. He got into Scholars but not Honors at college park. Rejected from UVA. Neither outcome was unexpected, but both still hurt.

We paid for test prep. We paid for a college counselor. We paid for editors for the essay. We did not pay for private K-12. So recs were from public school teachers and administrators who are overworked and can't really glow even if they want to. We filled out a FAFSA.

He's getting rejected or deferred from everywhere (elite publics and privates) except safety schools. I know, it happens. I know we should have been prepared for this. It has to happen to someone.

And as special as my kid is, being 90th percentile in a world of 99.9th percentile can be a crappy feeling. Add to that not being full pay, not being a legacy, and not being a recruited athlete. I wish I could undo the last two years. I wish I could reset as the goal getting admitted to the state flagship and other out of state publics that offer merit aid and call it a day. That's good enough and trying to shoot for more is a dream that is largely reserved for the extra-brilliant, or the upper crust.

If I could do it over I would have him apply to Miami of Ohio and Wisconsin and Pitt and the other public schools that take a lot of kids from this area instead of all these crazy expensive private schools with much smaller classes where kids like him applying are a dime a dozen. At the time he didn't want to because he knew College Park is a better school than all these options. So he'd rather cast a wide net with the more selective private schools. But now it's coming down to the wire and it really feels like he will literally have NO choices. I am regretting his whole strategy. I just hope similar parents out there can hear this and inform their own choices.

That are not the stats of a 90% kid - JESUS this board!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh grow up op (and your kid). cp was hard even for my "99 percentile kid". it all depends on how much you want out of college. graduate with less than 3.0 gpa is easy. graduate with close to 4.0 gpa? freaking hard. it's hard on kids/parents not because they are fooled in some way. it's just that there are so many smarter kids out there. do not underestimate how hard college is

DP, this is harsh. Haven't you ever felt rejection, if not from a college, a job or a romantic partner? OP and her DS are feeling that and are coming to terms with the option he has. She's just lamenting that he didn't choose more safety/low target options so he had some choice in the end.

college rejections are very common and expected. it's not like job rejections. this is how the process is set up and the reason behind why kids need to make sure to apply enough schools - reach/target/safety. it stings, yes. but it can also be a teaching moment too.

[Anonymous]

The difference between one big public flagship university and another is not too great. The difference in experience between that and a small private is huge. It sounds like OP's kid wanted a small private and they didn't apply low enough on the selectivity scale. Leaving him stuck with a big public experience he was trying to avoid.

Lets be honest. Public school sucks compared to private school. (I went public through grad school and my kids are in public now). I'm sad because a kidlike that could have gotten decent merit at a lower ranked private like Macalester or Oberlin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference between one big public flagship university and another is not too great. The difference in experience between that and a small private is huge. It sounds like OP's kid wanted a small private and they didn't apply low enough on the selectivity scale. Leaving him stuck with a big public experience he was trying to avoid.

Lets be honest. Public school sucks compared to private school. (I went public through grad school and my kids are in public now). I'm sad because a kidlike that could have gotten decent merit at a lower ranked private like Macalester or Oberlin.

Based on your exp or perception?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The difference between one big public flagship university and another is not too great. The difference in experience between that and a small private is huge. It sounds like OP's kid wanted a small private and they didn't apply low enough on the selectivity scale. Leaving him stuck with a big public experience he was trying to avoid.

Lets be honest. Public school sucks compared to private school. (I went public through grad school and my kids are in public now). I'm sad because a kidlike that could have gotten decent merit at a lower ranked private like Macalester or Oberlin.

Correct. 90% of these stories amount to this.

People should consider all outcomes when making their lists. Getting into any school is not being shut out.

If he feels he has no appealing options, then he made a bad list.

Success should be defined as having a college to go to next year. And he chose every school on his list so....I can't entirely understand the many flavors of this same lament.

(Though of course, I feel bad for someone who worked hard and is disappointed. I just think that too many families are not going into this process in a clear minded way.)

[Anonymous]

We are in a similar situation, though mine applied to three safeties. One of them offered a TON of money in grants and scholarships, so at least that made her feel special and wanted. UMD outranks that school, but she has another option. We are still waiting to hear from a bunch of privates, but I don't have much hope-- though I am hoping for a miracle.

She has top stats, extracurriculars, leadership, service. Maybe her essays suck? I just don't know. She didn't publish any research, win any national awards, found a non-profit or anything else on that level. She interviews well. She is white and lives in an upper socio-economic area with lets of competitive kids applying from her school. That probably has something to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK here's the brutal truth. My kid is a 90% kid who thinks he's a 99% kid. 1500 SAT. 4.5W GPA with a solid rigor- 11 APs but not in hard science or math. He got into Scholars but not Honors at college park. Rejected from UVA. Neither outcome was unexpected, but both still hurt.

We paid for test prep. We paid for a college counselor. We paid for editors for the essay. We did not pay for private K-12. So recs were from public school teachers and administrators who are overworked and can't really glow even if they want to. We filled out a FAFSA.

He's getting rejected or deferred from everywhere (elite publics and privates) except safety schools. I know, it happens. I know we should have been prepared for this. It has to happen to someone.

And as special as my kid is, being 90th percentile in a world of 99.9th percentile can be a crappy feeling. Add to that not being full pay, not being a legacy, and not being a recruited athlete. I wish I could undo the last two years. I wish I could reset as the goal getting admitted to the state flagship and other out of state publics that offer merit aid and call it a day. That's good enough and trying to shoot for more is a dream that is largely reserved for the extra-brilliant, or the upper crust.

If I could do it over I would have him apply to Miami of Ohio and Wisconsin and Pitt and the other public schools that take a lot of kids from this area instead of all these crazy expensive private schools with much smaller classes where kids like him applying are a dime a dozen. At the time he didn't want to because he knew College Park is a better school than all these options. So he'd rather cast a wide net with the more selective private schools. But now it's coming down to the wire and it really feels like he will literally have NO choices. I am regretting his whole strategy. I just hope similar parents out there can hear this and inform their own choices.

if he is getting into his safety schools AND got into UMD-CP, then he has choices.

[Anonymous]

OP. Please quit seeking guidance from the "anonymous 1%" that brag about TJ, Blair, the Big 3 and their kid's Ivy league acceptances. Most of this is horses**t anyway and what is true, so what. Your kid is 1500 and 4.5!! So, 50 out of 2,000 schools are out of the picture. Big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP! But why such hate for UMD? Lots of kids got rejected by UmD this year. I get you have a high stats kid and hoped to get into a selective school. But unfortunately, high stats are not enough. 3 years ago my kid 1580 SAt, 800 on physics, math2, history, 15 APs and 2 beyond AP classes, software entrepreneur, rejected by MIT, Stanford, CMU, Cornell, Penn and Princeton. Only got acceptance from his safety schools UMD, Michigan and Georgia Tech. All honors. My nephew had a similar story, high stats but rejected everywhere. He was beyond depressed when he realized other lower stats kids getting into these schools. That was it for me. For me DC2, we didn’t apply to any school with less than 30% acceptance rate and it has been good so far!
Hang in there. It will be fine. UMD is a good school. Goal is to get an education… it will be met

This is almost the same as my friend's son, SAT 1600, 15 APs all 5, Presidential service award, sports team captain, cello first chair, rejected from dream schools Stanford, MIT, CMU and other top schools, only got accepted from his safety UVA. It took more than a year for the parents and kid to recover from the disappointment.