How unprofessional was this?

[Anonymous]

It is what it is. I think if you preface the meeting with, "I've had a sudden childcare issue. I'm sorry for any disturbance, but I wanted to respect your time and keep the meeting," it lets people know you are doing your best to accommodate them. In that situation, I would turn your camera off as needed even if camera-on is company culture.

Re: safe space for a two-year old-if he's a climber she can't contain him in any legal child pen. She could strap him in a carseat and put him the bathroom with the door closed, but I would certainly rather live in screaming toddler interrupts meeting society than in working parents lock toddler in bathroom (don't worry he was perfectly safe) society.

[Anonymous]

I'm a working mom and sympathetic, but if I were your boss I'd be having a conversation with you. How did you work the remainder of the day with such a hurricane of a child? Next time, take PTO for the day, tell your boss that you'll cover the call but that you'll need to remain off camera and muted when you're not talking in order to deal with a quarantined toddler so that the expectations are set in advance.

[Anonymous]

Unprofessional, but to my mind understandable. I hope you prefaced (briefly) with your circumstances, if appropriate.

But, if someone calls you on it, please don’t be argumentative and defensive about it like you’re being here. Apologize for any distraction, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Op here - I did tell my immediate supervisor when I found out that toddler would be home. She is very understanding and I just take the time I need. That was never an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I did tell my immediate supervisor when I found out that toddler would be home. She is very understanding and I just take the time I need. That was never an issue.

Do you know if she warned the boss and the consultant?

[Anonymous]

Two years into this thing you should have a few last-minute sitters on speed-dial, a neighbor/friend nearby who might be able to pitch-in, and a safe space for the baby. Absolutely unprofessional - you're not the only one with kids - we've all made adaptations with difficult kids - you just chose to not plan for the worst case scenario for whatever bizarre reason. The defensiveness and snowflake attitude is also off-putting. People like you need to be put back into the office because you're just abusing the flexibilities at this point and ruining it for those of us with real back up plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I did tell my immediate supervisor when I found out that toddler would be home. She is very understanding and I just take the time I need. That was never an issue.

Do you know if she warned the boss and the consultant?

This. In the future I would reach out to the person you're having the meeting with.

[Anonymous]

She can’t get a sitter w a possible covid kid at home. A lot still won’t come. That’s the whole problem parents are in!!

[Anonymous]

Op, I would end this thread. It happened, your supervisor was fine with it. Some people agree it was fine, some people don't. You're torturing yourself by responding to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I would end this thread. It happened, your supervisor was fine with it. Some people agree it was fine, some people don't. You're torturing yourself by responding to everyone.

Agreed, this is simply a pile-on of Mean Girls at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you are making excuses. You could have definitely strapping him into the high chair. My 3.5yo that is 99% height still goes in the high chair with a fun activity (slime, cooked noodle "worms", orbeez etc and then I go in my bedroom to take calls.

OP here - you do realize all kids are different right? If I put my son in a high chair he would flip it over. Also what is the point of putting him in it if he would just scream the whole time while you are in the bedroom on a call?

DP but your barely 2 year old cannot flip a modern high chair, they are designed to be safe for children if used correctly.

And as long as you can be out of earshot, you let him scream. It's 30 mins, he'll live. If you can't be out of earshot, then I agree, this doesn't help you.

WTF you leave your kid out of earshot? WTF is wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

I think this highlights so many dilemmas for working parents right now, with more of the burden on women (I’m assuming you’re female). There are still so many COVID-related disruptions in school and daycare. And with many still working remotely, we feel obligated to try juggling work and home simultaneously when in the past you would have had no choice but to stay home and reschedule the meeting. Also, as expected, you ended up juggling the child-wrangling while on a work call but your husband got to have his call without that distraction.

Depending on the work culture at your place of employment, you may want to send some type of post-meeting email. My employer is really understanding and it never would have been an issue so it just depends.

Don’t beat yourself up, we’re all doing the best we can under difficult circumstances!

[Anonymous]

OP- COVID has been the hardest on working mothers. You are a great mom to take care of your child while also having a professional career. You are showing both your family and your employer that you have grit, you are tough, you can stay the course, and you can roll up your sleeves to just figure it out when you need to. All kids are different and you knew best about how to manage your child during today's call. I'm sure you are doing the best you can with everything, so more power to you and don't overthink today's call. Hang in there- you're doing a great job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can’t get a sitter w a possible covid kid at home. A lot still won’t come. That’s the whole problem parents are in!!

But some will - our neighborhood listserv is full of sitters who are comfortable and explicitly state as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two years into this thing you should have a few last-minute sitters on speed-dial, a neighbor/friend nearby who might be able to pitch-in, and a safe space for the baby. Absolutely unprofessional - you're not the only one with kids - we've all made adaptations with difficult kids - you just chose to not plan for the worst case scenario for whatever bizarre reason. The defensiveness and snowflake attitude is also off-putting. People like you need to be put back into the office because you're just abusing the flexibilities at this point and ruining it for those of us with real back up plans.

It's amazing to me that two years in some people aren't reflexively offering others some grace.