How unprofessional was this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I mean, no need to dwell, it is what it is, though I would definitely send an apology making it clear that this was an anomaly due to covid exposure (and thus you're not usually working with a toddler). I would say it was a 7/10 unprofessional.

I know you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I don't think this was the best option.

Big picture - baby proof his room (attaching the furniture to the walls is crucial here for safety) and start practicing independent playtime in his room. He needs to learn to entertain himself sometimes. Start with 10 minutes, work your way up.

Medium picture - much as it sucks to be where we are, we're still here. If your kid is that dependent on you (TV not an option, etc) then you can't work when he's home. You just can't. So you need to figure out a backup care option. I mean, how are you working at all this week? Sounds like the answer is you're not. So if you and/or your husband can't take time off, you need a plan that isn't "hold my kid in meetings."

Obviously, you can't do that day of. Honestly, I would have reached out to my boss and told him I was going to take a sick day and needed to, unfortunately, reschedule because my kid was going to be home from daycare due to covid exposure and he would interrupt the call. I would only go forward with the call if the boss insisted that it was preferable to do it with the kid than reschedule.

Unfortunately, this. This isn't just about today, it's about how are you going to work the rest of the week, not to mention when it happens again, moving forward. If your child has to be watched that closely that he has to sit in your lap during a call, that is what's sending the message that you don't have your WFH situation under control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I mean, no need to dwell, it is what it is, though I would definitely send an apology making it clear that this was an anomaly due to covid exposure (and thus you're not usually working with a toddler). I would say it was a 7/10 unprofessional.

I know you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I don't think this was the best option.

Big picture - baby proof his room (attaching the furniture to the walls is crucial here for safety) and start practicing independent playtime in his room. He needs to learn to entertain himself sometimes. Start with 10 minutes, work your way up.

Medium picture - much as it sucks to be where we are, we're still here. If your kid is that dependent on you (TV not an option, etc) then you can't work when he's home. You just can't. So you need to figure out a backup care option. I mean, how are you working at all this week? Sounds like the answer is you're not. So if you and/or your husband can't take time off, you need a plan that isn't "hold my kid in meetings."

Obviously, you can't do that day of. Honestly, I would have reached out to my boss and told him I was going to take a sick day and needed to, unfortunately, reschedule because my kid was going to be home from daycare due to covid exposure and he would interrupt the call. I would only go forward with the call if the boss insisted that it was preferable to do it with the kid than reschedule.

OP here - thanks these are very helpful. I sent an apology note. This is not the norm for me however it does happen every blue moon during COVID when someone is home due to an exposure or has COVID or is sick. I guess this is the reality of being a working parent. I see now why so many mothers are leaving the workforce. It is impossible to do this forever.

DS can actually play independently but does best with his older siblings. Also his independent play usually means destroying something or doing something that will physically harm him so we usually have to watch him.

[Anonymous]

This just happened to a partner at my firm. Her nanny called in sick, husband is out of town, and her 8 month old was unexpectedly up early from nap and losing it during a client call. She excused herself and went on mute, I and another team member covered a few of the slides she was presenting until baby calmed, and then she unmuted and continued. Our client is a parent as well and it was not an issue.

As long as it’s not something that happens regularly, I would not worry.

[Anonymous]

It happens.

My youngest often liked to make an appearance on my calls. My co-workers would ask me to call him over so he could say hi. That took the fun out of it for him, I think.

I've had co-workers hold their babies during calls. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Op you are making excuses. You could have definitely strapping him into the high chair. My 3.5yo that is 99% height still goes in the high chair with a fun activity (slime, cooked noodle "worms", orbeez etc and then I go in my bedroom to take calls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you are making excuses. You could have definitely strapping him into the high chair. My 3.5yo that is 99% height still goes in the high chair with a fun activity (slime, cooked noodle "worms", orbeez etc and then I go in my bedroom to take calls.

OP here - you do realize all kids are different right? If I put my son in a high chair he would flip it over. Also what is the point of putting him in it if he would just scream the whole time while you are in the bedroom on a call?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you are making excuses. You could have definitely strapping him into the high chair. My 3.5yo that is 99% height still goes in the high chair with a fun activity (slime, cooked noodle "worms", orbeez etc and then I go in my bedroom to take calls.

OP here - you do realize all kids are different right? If I put my son in a high chair he would flip it over. Also what is the point of putting him in it if he would just scream the whole time while you are in the bedroom on a call?

DP but your barely 2 year old cannot flip a modern high chair, they are designed to be safe for children if used correctly.

And as long as you can be out of earshot, you let him scream. It's 30 mins, he'll live. If you can't be out of earshot, then I agree, this doesn't help you.

[Anonymous]

Did you give them a heads up that your toddler would be joining your call? The second you realized he wouldn't be in daycare you should have let them know. Then if they cared, they would have rescheduled. If they knew and didn't care....well they gambled with the kid being a disruption. If you didn't let them know ahead of time, that's poor form and highly unprofessional

[Anonymous]

I think this thread shows that it is company/agency, boss/supervisor dependent. Some people will have patience, others won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you give them a heads up that your toddler would be joining your call? The second you realized he wouldn't be in daycare you should have let them know. Then if they cared, they would have rescheduled. If they knew and didn't care....well they gambled with the kid being a disruption. If you didn't let them know ahead of time, that's poor form and highly unprofessional

This is my take. I'm completely sympathetic, but in these situations it's important to give a heads up... that way it can be determined if
1. Reschedule meeting
2. Do meeting without you
3. Do meeting with you, but with understanding you might have to leave

[Anonymous]

Very unprofessional. You don’t seem like a problem solver OP. Strap him somewhere safe and take the call outside.

[Anonymous]

If the meeting accomplished what it set out to accomplish, then it is ok.

If the disruptions were such that it had wasted time for the other participants, then it would have been better to have canceled with you calling in sick.

I think most parents would sympathize with your situation. Which means no one who's rational would fault you for canceling the meeting. But if I had to sit there waiting for the tantrum to pass and wondering why we were even carrying on the meeting, I'd be annoyed at the waste of MY time.

[Anonymous]

How do you have a two year old with no safe place for him? That’s insane.

[Anonymous]

I mean, nothing we can do, covid is what it is.

I guess lesson learned, take a sick day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you have a two year old with no safe place for him? That’s insane.

Op here - where would you put a 2 year old? Or strap them to what? I am confused.