Summer wedding conundrum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here is what I would do:
You and your mom go to the wedding.

Kids and DH go to visit his parents.

You all meet back up at home, test before seeing each other.

Problem solved. You can keep attention on making sure your mom can see all the family members she wishes without nagging from the kids or your DH being angry.

OP here. I plan to go as does my mom. Our children want to go and I plan on bringing them. The issue is 1) unvaccinated sibling, who is not a Trumper but won’t get vaccinated for a variety of reasons; none of them valid; and )DH, who may not go, leaving me to travel with a 9 and 12 year old as well as my 87 year old mother who will likely need wheelchair assistance at the airport. Getting her back after is not an issue; my sister and BIL will take care of that. It’s just that we planned to go to my ILs afterward and DH doesn’t want that so kids would miss out on annual visit. We’re looking at other times for that, but work obligations are making it hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:one unvaccinated person is going to kill you and your iILS?
and you and your dh are not on prozac?

It would take something far stronger than prozac to address this level of paranoia. There are unvaccinated people everywhere - what are you supposed to do? Stay in a protective bubble. People who are vaccinated and boosted mask-up and get on with life and work.

Oh yeah, because that's working. Sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here is what I would do:
You and your mom go to the wedding.

Kids and DH go to visit his parents.

You all meet back up at home, test before seeing each other.

Problem solved. You can keep attention on making sure your mom can see all the family members she wishes without nagging from the kids or your DH being angry.

OP here. I plan to go as does my mom. Our children want to go and I plan on bringing them. The issue is 1) unvaccinated sibling, who is not a Trumper but won’t get vaccinated for a variety of reasons; none of them valid; and )DH, who may not go, leaving me to travel with a 9 and 12 year old as well as my 87 year old mother who will likely need wheelchair assistance at the airport. Getting her back after is not an issue; my sister and BIL will take care of that. It’s just that we planned to go to my ILs afterward and DH doesn’t want that so kids would miss out on annual visit. We’re looking at other times for that, but work obligations are making it hard.

PP again - I think most of this info was stated earlier in the thread. I’m just suggesting you not have the kids go to the wedding, but instead go visit your in laws. It gives you space to focus on getting your mom there and around, it gives them time with their other grandparents, and your DH won’t be concerned about exposing his parents after you are near your unvaxxed sib. Just tell the kids they can go to the next wedding. That way you don’t lose the perfect week for them to visit your ILs, don’t have to eat the cost of camps you already paid for, and everyone is happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here is what I would do:
You and your mom go to the wedding.

Kids and DH go to visit his parents.

You all meet back up at home, test before seeing each other.

Problem solved. You can keep attention on making sure your mom can see all the family members she wishes without nagging from the kids or your DH being angry.

OP here. I plan to go as does my mom. Our children want to go and I plan on bringing them. The issue is 1) unvaccinated sibling, who is not a Trumper but won’t get vaccinated for a variety of reasons; none of them valid; and )DH, who may not go, leaving me to travel with a 9 and 12 year old as well as my 87 year old mother who will likely need wheelchair assistance at the airport. Getting her back after is not an issue; my sister and BIL will take care of that. It’s just that we planned to go to my ILs afterward and DH doesn’t want that so kids would miss out on annual visit. We’re looking at other times for that, but work obligations are making it hard.

OP here - here’s the thing. My children haven’t seen my mom in a couple of years due to the pandemic. My mom is excited to see all of her grandchildren at the wedding together, citing that it may be the last time she has that opportunity. She may not make the “next” wedding.

PP again - I think most of this info was stated earlier in the thread. I’m just suggesting you not have the kids go to the wedding, but instead go visit your in laws. It gives you space to focus on getting your mom there and around, it gives them time with their other grandparents, and your DH won’t be concerned about exposing his parents after you are near your unvaxxed sib. Just tell the kids they can go to the next wedding. That way you don’t lose the perfect week for them to visit your ILs, don’t have to eat the cost of camps you already paid for, and everyone is happy.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your choice to not go also means your mom won’t get to go. I don’t like how some PPs have made it seem like your mom is not a sentient being who is deciding to go despite her higher risk.

I would go without any other hesitation. Some people are going to be unvaccinated for a long time.

[Anonymous]

It’s in the summer and outdoors? I’d definitely go and take the kids and your mom. I’m very pro vax and I’d be angry about your unvaccinated sibling being there so I’d avoid them as much as possible and also not hang out indoors much at all but an outdoor summer wedding sounds very safe to me. Re evaluate your DH’s feelings and possible visit w in laws once date gets closer and we see how the pandemic is by then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s in the summer and outdoors? I’d definitely go and take the kids and your mom. I’m very pro vax and I’d be angry about your unvaccinated sibling being there so I’d avoid them as much as possible and also not hang out indoors much at all but an outdoor summer wedding sounds very safe to me. Re evaluate your DH’s feelings and possible visit w in laws once date gets closer and we see how the pandemic is by then.

Full vaccination is not 100% preventative as proved by the April 2021 Houston wedding. Open air and 92 fully vaccinated guests. 6 Delta variant-2 Pfizer and 2 Moderna got covid-19 and Baylor determined it was introduced by 2 who had Covaxin BBV152 and traveled from India. So would have tested negative to get on the flights? 1 of the 6 died.

https://www.webmd.com/vaccines/covid-19-vaccine/news/20210713/delta-variant-vaccinated-guests-outdoor-wedding

I heard a recent indoor wedding of fully vaccinated of about the same size had 20% plus positive post wedding. Most weddings and associated events aren't dissected and researched like the Houston wedding so regard that as what can happen at an outdoor wedding. Add in unvaccinated plus omicron and it could have been worse.

[Anonymous]

If I were in my 80s, I would want to attend the wedding.

My parents are in their 70s with a lot of health problems. They don’t think they have long to live. They want to see us and the grandchildren as much as possible. They don’t want to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op your husband is right

Your sibling is a POS

Your mother deserves better from you what are you thinking?

OP - what am I thinking? I'm not driving the train here. Even if I were to hypothetically drop out, my sister would find a way for my mother to get there (likely with the unvaxxed sibling). I am trying to be a good sibling in helping out, as she will be occupied with wedding planning stuff.

But you can use any leverage you have to push for responsible safety precautions, for goodness's sakes. Unless this is crazy Trumpland, surely people will be fine with a vaccine requirement.

I talked to my sister about that. She said both the wedding and reception are outside, and that she anticipates the pandemic will be much improved by then but that they would consider implementing any safeguards closer to the date if they need to. However, she's looking to book hotels and airfare now, which is what brought up the discussion with DH. Focus on his part seems to be with my other sibling in particular, and not the wedding guests at large due to possibility of smaller indoor gathering amongst family.

She's wrong. it takes a long time for people to get all doses of vaccines. She has to require them now. It's the height of irresponsibility to not have a vaccine requirement, regardless of case numbers. All it takes is one infected person at the wedding to kill of a number of unvaccinated folks, or at the very least, send them to hospital. If people are vaccinated and case numbers are low at the time of the wedding, then masks may not be required at all! Dangle that for her. She may be scared of asking guests to get vaccinated, but she HAS to.

NP. Totally agree with the above in bold. OP, all you can do toward making the bold happen is be clear with sister NOW. Not two months before the wedding.

Remember, in summer 2020 things were improving overall re: Covid. Fall looked decent. Then, omicron. There is as much chance of another wave of a new variant by the time of this wedding as there is a chance everything will be dandy.

And I think some posters (not the smart PP above) are not seeing that BOTH your mom and your DH's parents, whom he wants the kids to visit, are elderly. Even fully vaxxed and boosted, elderly people are at higher risk of serious issues with Covid and yes, breakthrough infections for the vaxxed and boosted are a real thing.

OP, have you talked with the one sibling who refuses to vaccinate? I'm guessing that ship has sailed and that sib does not respond to requests to vaccinate -- even for your mom's sake. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s in the summer and outdoors? I’d definitely go and take the kids and your mom. I’m very pro vax and I’d be angry about your unvaccinated sibling being there so I’d avoid them as much as possible and also not hang out indoors much at all but an outdoor summer wedding sounds very safe to me. Re evaluate your DH’s feelings and possible visit w in laws once date gets closer and we see how the pandemic is by then.

Full vaccination is not 100% preventative as proved by the April 2021 Houston wedding. Open air and 92 fully vaccinated guests. 6 Delta variant-2 Pfizer and 2 Moderna got covid-19 and Baylor determined it was introduced by 2 who had Covaxin BBV152 and traveled from India. So would have tested negative to get on the flights? 1 of the 6 died.

https://www.webmd.com/vaccines/covid-19-vaccine/news/20210713/delta-variant-vaccinated-guests-outdoor-wedding

I heard a recent indoor wedding of fully vaccinated of about the same size had 20% plus positive post wedding. Most weddings and associated events aren't dissected and researched like the Houston wedding so regard that as what can happen at an outdoor wedding. Add in unvaccinated plus omicron and it could have been worse.

+1

People want to think "but it's outdoors" is a magic formula for evading infection. Nope. But you can't tell that to the "live your life! You're anxious!" posters on DCUM. The same ones who think "follow the science" means outdoors is 100 percent fine, and will look at the actual study on a real outdoor event and pretend infection just couldn't happen that way.

We could ALL get back to more events if everyone would actually hit pause for long enough to break the chain of infections but nope, people insist it's "only a cold" now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s in the summer and outdoors? I’d definitely go and take the kids and your mom. I’m very pro vax and I’d be angry about your unvaccinated sibling being there so I’d avoid them as much as possible and also not hang out indoors much at all but an outdoor summer wedding sounds very safe to me. Re evaluate your DH’s feelings and possible visit w in laws once date gets closer and we see how the pandemic is by then.

Full vaccination is not 100% preventative as proved by the April 2021 Houston wedding. Open air and 92 fully vaccinated guests. 6 Delta variant-2 Pfizer and 2 Moderna got covid-19 and Baylor determined it was introduced by 2 who had Covaxin BBV152 and traveled from India. So would have tested negative to get on the flights? 1 of the 6 died.

https://www.webmd.com/vaccines/covid-19-vaccine/news/20210713/delta-variant-vaccinated-guests-outdoor-wedding

I heard a recent indoor wedding of fully vaccinated of about the same size had 20% plus positive post wedding. Most weddings and associated events aren't dissected and researched like the Houston wedding so regard that as what can happen at an outdoor wedding. Add in unvaccinated plus omicron and it could have been worse.

+1

People want to think "but it's outdoors" is a magic formula for evading infection. Nope. But you can't tell that to the "live your life! You're anxious!" posters on DCUM. The same ones who think "follow the science" means outdoors is 100 percent fine, and will look at the actual study on a real outdoor event and pretend infection just couldn't happen that way.

We could ALL get back to more events if everyone would actually hit pause for long enough to break the chain of infections but nope, people insist it's "only a cold" now.

Two more weeks.

Flatten the curve.

And so on.

I’m sure this time will be different.