Friends who disappear during a difficult time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friends are fleeting and you're better off expecting very little from them. Family is what counts. That's why I feel so sorry for so many DCUM women who do nothing but complain about theirs.

Not to side track, but my friends and husband and way more supportive than my family. Those of us who complain about family often have pretty nasty family members.

Sorry to hijack, OP, and I am sorry your friend let you down.

Interesting that you consider your husband in the friend category and not the family one.

I think the PP was clearly referring to their family of origin.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who calls me and talks for hours when she is struggling with something (divorce, challenging child, etc.). About 10 years ago, she went back home for a week because her mom was sick and died. I went to her place, fed the cat. When she got back, picked her up from the airport in the middle of night. At that time, I lived in MD, she lived in VA. These all common things a friend does in a time of need.

A few weeks ago, my dad died. She sent a text I'm so sorry to hear this. No card, no call, nothing.

[Anonymous]

OP, I had this happen. If you haven't already, please say something to your friend. My friend got caught up in her own life (totally understandable) and didn't realize she wasn't stepping up and being the friend I needed her to be. She did want to be there, but f'ed up the execution.

Anyway, when she finally did reach out, I didn't respond at first because I was so hurt. Because she is a good person and friend she figured it out, apologized and stepped up. I am so glad we both gave each other a second chance because really good friends are hard to come by and you need to be willing to tell a good friend directly when you need more from them - and when told directly, a good friend should a will step up.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who has ever had a nervous breakdown, panic attacks or anxiety issues in past will avoid anyone toxic or with problems

[Anonymous]

OP-- Let your friend know that you would like a text from her once in a while asking how you are. This may not be a matter of not caring but of not knowing what to do. It does not demonstrate a lack of character. it may be as simple as her having anxiety over what you are going through and not knowing how to handle it. I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Let her know you want to hear from her because it helps you. I have a feeling she will be more present for you if you tell her what you want.

Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who calls me and talks for hours when she is struggling with something (divorce, challenging child, etc.). About 10 years ago, she went back home for a week because her mom was sick and died. I went to her place, fed the cat. When she got back, picked her up from the airport in the middle of night. At that time, I lived in MD, she lived in VA. These all common things a friend does in a time of need.

A few weeks ago, my dad died. She sent a text I'm so sorry to hear this. No card, no call, nothing.

Sorry for the loss of your dad, PP. Even if your friend doesn't call, she is probably ready and willing to listen whenever you call her, just as you did for her.