Scared of losing my body

[Anonymous]

It’s entirely individual. Obviously, you’ve seen examples of women who have children and look amazing and then women who do not. The same is true of women without children. If you’re talking about just your body remaining the way it is, it may, it may not. Mine did after my first, took longer with my second, but I still don’t have the same body I did at 30 at 43 because I am 43. I’m more in shape now, but not as curvy and not as flat stomached. I also don’t care. I’m allowed to age and change. Men do not feel this way about aging and changing, I promise you. If you’re having a girl, work on your attitude toward bodies and their stages and functions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady, I promise once the baby is out, you will be too tired to care. I find that the losing your body is not so much the problem... it's the losing 30-minutes a day to spend on basic hygiene, hair, makeup, putting thought into getting dressed --- that's the real reason why a lot of moms look bad. We literally DON'T HAVE TIME to put ourselves together, especially in those hyper-needy early years.

Nope. Maybe in the first 2 months when you're up all night, but nope. Don't scare expectant moms with this drama. I have always had time to bathe myself and look decent.

Really? You most either have a lot of help, one kid who is an easy baby, a hands on partner who lets you primp, or just ignore your kid.

[Anonymous]

One of the hardest parts of parenting is losing control. You think if you eat right and exercise you can control your weight gain or any changes to your body or appearance. You think if your prioritize yourself and mentally resolve to still take care of yourself after baby is born that you will be given a compliant, cooperative baby or children who don’t mind giving you 30 minutes when you need it to shower, dress, and do your hair and makeup. And on and on. Control is an illusion!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% if you have more than one your body will suffer. Once you are holding the baby you really won't care.

I wish people would really stop this narrative. Yes, I still care...10 years later. No, my body will never be the same. Yes, it changed after the first and I will never get it back despite weight loss. Things fit differently. It sucks and there is no way around it. It is the price women pay and it makes me really annoyed when people just say "you won't care when you are holding the baby" because it dismisses a woman's feelings and once again makes her feel that she has to sacrifice everything--even her feelings--to have a baby. There is just no respect for women as independent beings.

OP...it is normal to feel this way. You may get close to your body back and you might not. A second is harder than a first but a first can still change your body permanently (my boobs are bigger forever..which I dont' like and clothes fit differently even after 1...after 2, it was worse). My oldest is 10. I still miss my prebaby body. These are normal feelings and you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady, I promise once the baby is out, you will be too tired to care. I find that the losing your body is not so much the problem... it's the losing 30-minutes a day to spend on basic hygiene, hair, makeup, putting thought into getting dressed --- that's the real reason why a lot of moms look bad. We literally DON'T HAVE TIME to put ourselves together, especially in those hyper-needy early years.

Nope. Maybe in the first 2 months when you're up all night, but nope. Don't scare expectant moms with this drama. I have always had time to bathe myself and look decent.

Really? You most either have a lot of help, one kid who is an easy baby, a hands on partner who lets you primp, or just ignore your kid.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady, I promise once the baby is out, you will be too tired to care. I find that the losing your body is not so much the problem... it's the losing 30-minutes a day to spend on basic hygiene, hair, makeup, putting thought into getting dressed --- that's the real reason why a lot of moms look bad. We literally DON'T HAVE TIME to put ourselves together, especially in those hyper-needy early years.

Nope. Maybe in the first 2 months when you're up all night, but nope. Don't scare expectant moms with this drama. I have always had time to bathe myself and look decent.

Really? You most either have a lot of help, one kid who is an easy baby, a hands on partner who lets you primp, or just ignore your kid.

I have one kid who was an easy baby. Some help, but not an army of nannies (or even one nanny). But a lot of "easy baby" is nurture, not nature. Some is nature -- but I had an easy temperament and a fussy, anxious mother. I probably would have been easy if she hadn't been the way she is.

I don't primp, but I'm also not a martyr who skips basic human hygiene because a baby is crying briefly.

[Anonymous]

When I was pregnant with my second child, I was swimming and mid-stroke realized that once I gave birth, my body would go back to being "mine" again and it filled me with joy. I'm not planning on having more kids, so any weight I lose is "for keeps" at this point, if that makes sense.

Your body will probably (but not certainly) change. My feet grew a size -- from 7.5 to 8 -- but my biggest change is that my hips really expanded after my second birth. I don't love it. But I've come to live with it. More significantly, for me, the fact that when I run or exercise now it's not for "losing the baby weight" or "keeping the baby weight at bay," it's entirely for my own health, is very liberating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady, I promise once the baby is out, you will be too tired to care. I find that the losing your body is not so much the problem... it's the losing 30-minutes a day to spend on basic hygiene, hair, makeup, putting thought into getting dressed --- that's the real reason why a lot of moms look bad. We literally DON'T HAVE TIME to put ourselves together, especially in those hyper-needy early years.

Nope. Maybe in the first 2 months when you're up all night, but nope. Don't scare expectant moms with this drama. I have always had time to bathe myself and look decent.

Really? You most either have a lot of help, one kid who is an easy baby, a hands on partner who lets you primp, or just ignore your kid.

+1

I didn't primp when I had a newborn, but I have never missed a shower because of a kid. At that age, even if DH was gone, I'd toss 'em in the bouncy chair and take the shower with the baby in the room (good for baby's perpetual congestion, too!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady, I promise once the baby is out, you will be too tired to care. I find that the losing your body is not so much the problem... it's the losing 30-minutes a day to spend on basic hygiene, hair, makeup, putting thought into getting dressed --- that's the real reason why a lot of moms look bad. We literally DON'T HAVE TIME to put ourselves together, especially in those hyper-needy early years.

Nope. Maybe in the first 2 months when you're up all night, but nope. Don't scare expectant moms with this drama. I have always had time to bathe myself and look decent.

Really? You most either have a lot of help, one kid who is an easy baby, a hands on partner who lets you primp, or just ignore your kid.

+1

I didn't primp when I had a newborn, but I have never missed a shower because of a kid. At that age, even if DH was gone, I'd toss 'em in the bouncy chair and take the shower with the baby in the room (good for baby's perpetual congestion, too!)

Same. And I primped some. I put the baby in the ergo and did my hair. We all lived and I had cute hair. You may not care, that’s cool. It’s up to you.

[Anonymous]

Your body may not be the same as it has been pre-kid. You are allowed to worry about that because changes to how we look can sometimes feel like a change to who we are. Motherhood is an active reframing of both: your identity and your body. (There are other things motherhood asks you to reframe, like your relationships sometimes, or your own thinking about certain issues..but we aren’t talking about those right now).

Look, it’s an experience. Climbing a mountain also temporarily changes your body. So does getting sick, or strong, or…

Think about why you care. You may get positive attention for being petite/trim and you may be worried to lose that. Dig into it. What if you lost that attention? What would happen?

While i understand the PP’s point that if OP is having a daughter she should pay particularly close attention to what she’s going through so she can model healthy behavior for her daughter….boys absolutely also should not get the message that their mother believes her body’s shape and size is the sum of her value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am naturally petite and trim and do not have to work hard to stay slender. Now that I’m pregnant I am terrified of losing my body.

Honestly, I hope "mom and baby" are healthy. Having your baby go to the NICU? That is something to be terrified about, in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Even if you didn’t have a baby, age comes for all of us eventually. You won’t look the same at 40 as you do at 30, kids or not! So it’s better to at least have the kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am naturally petite and trim and do not have to work hard to stay slender. Now that I’m pregnant I am terrified of losing my body.

Honestly, I hope "mom and baby" are healthy. Having your baby go to the NICU? That is something to be terrified about, in my experience.

Yeah I’m about to go into a c section and I worry about dying so…not losing my petite body is the least of my f-ing problems. I don’t know how women have the brain cells to worry about this. You will grow a human and you need to try to be healthy and make sure that new human is also healthy…end of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am naturally petite and trim and do not have to work hard to stay slender. Now that I’m pregnant I am terrified of losing my body.

Honestly, I hope "mom and baby" are healthy. Having your baby go to the NICU? That is something to be terrified about, in my experience.

Yeah I’m about to go into a c section and I worry about dying so…not losing my petite body is the least of my f-ing problems. I don’t know how women have the brain cells to worry about this. You will grow a human and you need to try to be healthy and make sure that new human is also healthy…end of story.

Do you know the actual probability of dying in a planned C-section in the US? You're more likely to die in the car on the ride there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are more than your petite body.

Yes, you have your whole self and identity that you’re about to lose as well.

LOL THIS hahaha.

How superficial to be worried just about the "body" lol. You have a lot to learn yet, OP. Good thing all of this is actually the best part of parenthood. You might kinda look back on who you were and feel like just a little bit of pity.

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