This house never felt like home. Does yours? Normal?

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting thread and made me stop and think about whether my house feels like home. It does, but I don't get a rush of relief when I walk in the front door. And as I think about it, I think that is because our front foyer is cluttered and has no good place to store all of our bags, coats, shoes, etc. But once I get past that, I feel happy to be here. I guess I should keep up the effort to keep it clutter free. We do not have a driveway, garage, or a mudroom with our old home in DC and I would love at least a side door for entering with a mudroom that isn't our front door. If we move instead of renovating this house, that will be at the top of my priority list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loathe our current home and we’ll be moving in the spring.

We’ve been here for 2.5 years and I swear it never felt like home. It’s been a battle for me, as I don’t like the neighborhood or house itself.

I don’t think I’ve felt that rush of comfort when I pull in the driveway, or a sense of relief when I walk in the door. Staying home isn’t relaxing to me.

Is it me? Am I too picky?

I just want a HOME.

what do you think you need to make it feel like you are home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a very old house (several hundred years old) and I never felt home in houses less than let's say 60 years old. Even on holidays I prefer historic buildings. Now we live in a very old apartment and I give it preference over any concrete villa.

I relate to this. My husband and I are from New England and grew up in 200+ year homes so the post-war little brick boxes we could afford in this area were…an adjustment. Hoping to upgrade to a more unique pre-war house someday but who know if we’ll ever find in our price range so in the meantime we’re making the best of what we have

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loathe our current home and we’ll be moving in the spring.

We’ve been here for 2.5 years and I swear it never felt like home. It’s been a battle for me, as I don’t like the neighborhood or house itself.

I don’t think I’ve felt that rush of comfort when I pull in the driveway, or a sense of relief when I walk in the door. Staying home isn’t relaxing to me.

Is it me? Am I too picky?

I just want a HOME.

It typically takes 5 or 6 months to feel at home in your new digs. I'm happy for you that you are moving and I hope the new house feels like home quickly.

[Anonymous]

Mine feels like home when it's clean and tidy, but I have two boys 1 and 4 so that is almost never

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loathe our current home and we’ll be moving in the spring.

We’ve been here for 2.5 years and I swear it never felt like home. It’s been a battle for me, as I don’t like the neighborhood or house itself.

I don’t think I’ve felt that rush of comfort when I pull in the driveway, or a sense of relief when I walk in the door. Staying home isn’t relaxing to me.

Is it me? Am I too picky?

I just want a HOME.

Is this your first home purchase? You may have answered that later in thread, sorry if I missed it. I was feeling just like this in my previous and first home. I really didn't know what I wanted until I moved in and realized what I did NOT want. It never felt like home and was pretty miserable. Terrible, ugly, poor layout, 80s built crap with paper thin walls (my apartments were quieter), awful neighbors that constantly trespassed/sent kids outside to scream etc etc. I was able to make a much better decision this time and it's felt like home since the day we did final walk-through. Spring will be here before you know it and you'll find that homey place.

Yes, it is our first. My husband loves the home so I sort of let him pick. We also rushed into it. I regret it.

[Anonymous]

Reading this makes me realize I could never feel at home in a new build. I’ve never lived any place built after the 1950s, and new builds just feel cold and empty to me. And I generally find big rooms and open floor plans to be less cozy in general. Basically, I don’t think I could feel at home in an uncozy home, and it’s so easy to lose the coziness when a house gets too big - either in square footage or in terms of the scale of the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So glad you are selling. Now pay attention to this “feeling” as you approach your next home, what’s your feeling driving there, as you turn on the street, stand out front. When you’re inside, I would ask myself do I want the realtor to leave me here because it’s home?
Some of us are highly intuitive and everyone else doesn’t feel that strongly.

I really am. I should’ve known. But my husband loves the house and I feel like I dominate a lot of choices so I let it slide. Mistake. I’m highly sensitive and emotional and this house isn’t working for me.

[Anonymous]

OP here and I love this thread! Thank you.

So many varying perspectives. For me, it’s not old house vs new house. It’s not about a shell.

Some of you really get me, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate the discussions.

I would appreciate more concrete ideas of what to look for and how to house hunt. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting thread and made me stop and think about whether my house feels like home. It does, but I don't get a rush of relief when I walk in the front door. And as I think about it, I think that is because our front foyer is cluttered and has no good place to store all of our bags, coats, shoes, etc. But once I get past that, I feel happy to be here. I guess I should keep up the effort to keep it clutter free. We do not have a driveway, garage, or a mudroom with our old home in DC and I would love at least a side door for entering with a mudroom that isn't our front door. If we move instead of renovating this house, that will be at the top of my priority list.

Do you really need to renovate for that? We live in a tiny condo in DC and the front door opens right into the living room. But we have a place for keys, bags, coats and mail that is organized and visually pleasing off to the side of the door. Not a built in or anything, just some pretty wall hooks and a little console I spent some time finding that is just the right size and height, plus cute little bowls for keys and a little mat for shoes underneath.

I too would love a real foyer or a mud room or just some way to separate our front door from the rest of the house. But I still get a rush of relief when I walk in my door, because I love how our living room looks and because the entry is arranged in a way that I know just where to put everything before getting all the way into the house.

[Anonymous]

Wow-- a great question! I love my new house because I had it built, so everything is tailored to my liking, but looking back, the only home that genuinely felt like home is the house I grew up in.

I spent my first 17 years there, and that's the place I think of when I think of home. I doubt I will ever be able to recapture that warm and safe feeling anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if when adults see "home" they see problems --a paint job that needs doing, a squeaky garage door, is it time to clean up gutters again, already?

And in your childhood, "home" didn't mean problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if when adults see "home" they see problems --a paint job that needs doing, a squeaky garage door, is it time to clean up gutters again, already?

And in your childhood, "home" didn't mean problems.

I think this is part of it and I was just thinking about this the other day. At least it means my kids probably feel like our house is home despite its flaws!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading this makes me realize I could never feel at home in a new build. I’ve never lived any place built after the 1950s, and new builds just feel cold and empty to me. And I generally find big rooms and open floor plans to be less cozy in general. Basically, I don’t think I could feel at home in an uncozy home, and it’s so easy to lose the coziness when a house gets too big - either in square footage or in terms of the scale of the room.

Great string.

Totally agree, and I live in a newer build. Grew up in a 1900's turn of the century home (in another city) and then until 10 years ago, lived in a 1940's colonial. It was small, yet cozy and I loved driving up to its cute curb appeal and settling in for the evening. DH wanted new home, so here we are. It's a great house, don't get me wrong, but does not give me the same home-y feeling all these years later.

[Anonymous]

Our house was built in the 1960s and is the first house we have owned. It definitely feels like home - its big enough for our family of 5 but cozy enough for us to all gather together and watch a movie. Nobody gets lost or can get lost in the house (which I kind of like). The center of the house is the kitchen and I do a lot of cooking so its nice to see the kids playing while I bake or make dinner. We have been in our house for 7 years and it probably isn't our forever home but I really enjoy living in it right now!