This house never felt like home. Does yours? Normal?

Anonymous
Light is so important (a reason we bought our current house) and, for me, the garden as well. What makes me feel at home is seeing something that I've placed or planted or is a memory wherever I look. Like little vignettes, whether indoors or outdoors. When I look through to the sun room, I see my grandmother's collection of special glassware at the top of bookshelves. Looking out the dining room, I see the birch and magnolia trees we planted our first year here. From the kitchen, I see our new patio and all the plantings and bird feeders I added that make it a busy visit for birds first thing in the morning. In the living room, we have paintings and various objects from our travels on the walls and mantel. That's what makes it feel like home.
Anonymous
I have lived in my current house for 12 years, the longest I have ever lived anywhere, and it does not feel like home.
Anonymous
If my stuff is there then I feel like I’m home.
Anonymous
Mine feels like home. Home sweet home! Find a better place, Op!
Anonymous
Our last home never felt like mine. I had no interest in decorating it or making cosmetic renovations. It never felt like my home, it was a place to live. We moved 6 months ago and I love our new house every day. I have so many projects I want to do here. Every day I am so happy we have our current house.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I never felt a "rush of comfort" or a "sense of relief" anywhere.

I don't feel clean or safe where I live now though.


I am sorry, PP. That must be hard.
Anonymous
Pets and kids can make a house home. We also have lots of hand me down things from my parents and things that were in my house growing up. I can see my late mother here since she spent so much time here when our girls were babies. My husband has painted many of the pictures on the wall. I have touches of my favorite warm colors everywhere, along with handmade rugs and cozy blankets. My kids art work and stuff fills in the blanks and makes this a happy home.
Anonymous
I love our new family home. It was built in the 60s but had been very well cared for by the previous owners and is very cozy while still being totally functional. Our neighborhood is great with large mature trees that make me feel like we live in a treehouse when looking out the windows. The vibe of a house was always more important to me than having a brand new white kitchen or fancy bathrooms.
Anonymous
A house is a box. Whether it's a "home" or not is an internal choice you make for yourself. If you chose to consider it no more than a hotel room, that's it will ever be. There are some fine hotels, hotels with beautiful furnishings and gardens, wonderful light, you name it.

It's not the place that makes it "home" - it's you.
Anonymous
I grew up in a very old house (several hundred years old) and I never felt home in houses less than let's say 60 years old. Even on holidays I prefer historic buildings. Now we live in a very old apartment and I give it preference over any concrete villa.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:A house is a box. Whether it's a "home" or not is an internal choice you make for yourself. If you chose to consider it no more than a hotel room, that's it will ever be. There are some fine hotels, hotels with beautiful furnishings and gardens, wonderful light, you name it.

It's not the place that makes it "home" - it's you.


I agree with this. It’s an empty shell. It sounds very spoiled to say you can only be comfortable and happy in a certain style of house. If it’s too dark, get more lamps. Make some memories there.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A house is a box. Whether it's a "home" or not is an internal choice you make for yourself. If you chose to consider it no more than a hotel room, that's it will ever be. There are some fine hotels, hotels with beautiful furnishings and gardens, wonderful light, you name it.

It's not the place that makes it "home" - it's you.


I agree with this. It’s an empty shell. It sounds very spoiled to say you can only be comfortable and happy in a certain style of house. If it’s too dark, get more lamps. Make some memories there.


I’ve lived in 15 apartments/houses over the years and some just feel like home while others don’t. It had nothing to do with how “nice” the places were (though they wer all clean and safe). Sometimes it just doesn’t click.
Anonymous
This is why you need to be picky when house hunting, even in this crazy market.

We love our home and I do feel that rush of relief and comfort when I come home at the end of the day. We also love being able to smell its unique scent after being away for a week.

Loving your home and neighborhood is very important. Don’t just jump on the first house you see.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A house is a box. Whether it's a "home" or not is an internal choice you make for yourself. If you chose to consider it no more than a hotel room, that's it will ever be. There are some fine hotels, hotels with beautiful furnishings and gardens, wonderful light, you name it.

It's not the place that makes it "home" - it's you.


I agree with this. It’s an empty shell. It sounds very spoiled to say you can only be comfortable and happy in a certain style of house. If it’s too dark, get more lamps. Make some memories there.


Yes and no. A shelter is a shelter. But as you know, with seasonal affective disorders and working condition studies, natural light is actually critically important to all living things, including human beings. My plants, my parrot and myself all thrive on natural light. Most artificial lighting is not full-spectrum, and therefore cannot replace natural sunlight. I actually have a full-spectrum lightbulb on top of my parrot's cage to provide a set period of full sunlight every day, given that she's inside and not outside in the Amazon rainforest (where parrots take sunbaths before returning to the shaded canopy).

Anyone who is unhappy in a dark home, please buy a full-spectrum light system and sit by it every day. It will stave off depression until you can move to a more congenial abode.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I loathe our current home and we’ll be moving in the spring.

We’ve been here for 2.5 years and I swear it never felt like home. It’s been a battle for me, as I don’t like the neighborhood or house itself.

I don’t think I’ve felt that rush of comfort when I pull in the driveway, or a sense of relief when I walk in the door. Staying home isn’t relaxing to me.

Is it me? Am I too picky?

I just want a HOME.


Is this your first home purchase? You may have answered that later in thread, sorry if I missed it. I was feeling just like this in my previous and first home. I really didn't know what I wanted until I moved in and realized what I did NOT want. It never felt like home and was pretty miserable. Terrible, ugly, poor layout, 80s built crap with paper thin walls (my apartments were quieter), awful neighbors that constantly trespassed/sent kids outside to scream etc etc. I was able to make a much better decision this time and it's felt like home since the day we did final walk-through. Spring will be here before you know it and you'll find that homey place.
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