Would a man deliberately try to make a woman jealous?

[Anonymous]

No, a man wouldn’t do this. But you are dating a boy, so…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs on here who say that you should maybe bring this up to him in conversation. It could be he's very bad at communicating and a therapist or licensed professional could get him to be able to better open up to you.

There seems to be a real aversion to "jealousy" in any form on this board as of the past several days, and I believe there are one or two very strident posters who go out of their way to make/start/brigade threads about it, for God knows what reason. Perhaps theyve never experienced jealousy with their partner and there's some feeling of inadequacy or something. Not sure, but jealousy is perfectly normal and healthy to feel in a relationship. It just needs to be expressed honestly, not in a passive aggressive way.

Trying couples counseling or relationship therapy would be a great solution to get his feelings out in the open. Many men have no way of expressing their emotions and were never taught to tap into them in the first place, leading to bizarre scenarios like you describe in your OP.

FCK no! this is a boyfriend of a few months, plenty of men know how to express themselves in healthy ways besides jealousy and starting fights and being "sensitive to criticism" OP needs to moe on and you need to stop normalizing and encouraging people especially women to stay in toxic relationships. It's not the girlfriends job to fice a broken man.

She obviously really likes him and says he's great other than this one quality. People can learn and get better. One very small flaw is not worth ending a relationship over

It's not one very small flaw. It's huge effing red flag of an abusive and manipulative person. Let me guess you got married at 22 and this is the kind of BS you tolerate in your relationship, but you crow about being together for 22 years and growing together

No and no. Look, I'm a woman and I get jealous. Jealous is okay and healthy within a relationship. It just needs to be explained and communicated in a functional way. Passive aggressive stuff is bad no matter the motivation. But jealousy in itself is not some giant red flag. On the contrary, it can be a sign of the intensity of emotion and attachment.

No just no. Please grow up and get therapy and stop spreading your toxicity around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, a man wouldn’t do this. But you are dating a boy, so…

She's a young woman in her 20s. Sorry Phillip, she doesnt want to date an old man like you.

[Anonymous]

Of course! Men try to make women jealous all the time. Men have higher rates of jealousy than women

[Anonymous]

Yes, he would do this. At best he is immature. You need to find someone else. No way should he be making you feel like this. This is not something you want to stick around for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he would do this. At best he is immature. You need to find someone else. No way should he be making you feel like this. This is not something you want to stick around for.

He does sound overly possessive. If he acts like this over a coworker, Lord knows what he'll do if he sees an ex of yours or you get a straight male friend

[Anonymous]

Here is the very respected Dr Ramani talking about how jealousy is very healthy and in fact and indication that someone cares. (at 33:04)

I wouldn't be annoyed with this. Reassure him that you do care. Of course, is he's always jealous and always acting crazy, that's a problem. But you said this was a one off based on someone who is obviously flirting with you and interested. It makes sense that he is jealous and in facts, as Dr Ramani points out, is an indication that he really cares and still has skin in the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the very respected Dr Ramani talking about how jealousy is very healthy and in fact and indication that someone cares. (at 33:04)

I wouldn't be annoyed with this. Reassure him that you do care. Of course, is he's always jealous and always acting crazy, that's a problem. But you said this was a one off based on someone who is obviously flirting with you and interested. It makes sense that he is jealous and in facts, as Dr Ramani points out, is an indication that he really cares and still has skin in the game.

Dude. Clearly you missed the other red flags. They had a huge argument about his jealousy, then he acted sulky and distant for a few DAYS. That's not normal or healthy amounts of jealousy. And then it's possible he left his phone out for her to see full of flirting texts with some other woman. That's some immature BS.

Look at the whole picture

[Anonymous]

New poster, with a different perspective. I don't see any of this as such a big deal for a dating couple in their mid twenties.

A make co-worker flirted with the girl at a party - so what?

The boyfriend got jealous and they had a fight - pretty predictable

A cute girl tried to move in on the guy over text - he did not do anything, but did not tell her to get lost - maybe revenge, maybe coincidence

The girlfriend snooped into his phone and read the texts, and now is hurt - not nice, but predictable and not uncommon

I am a bit older, and when I was in my twenties, I had this sort of behavior in all my relationships, as did most of my friends. These are not either person's best moments, but not too terrible either.

Most people grow out of this behavior by their thirties.

That is my two cents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the very respected Dr Ramani talking about how jealousy is very healthy and in fact and indication that someone cares. (at 33:04)

I wouldn't be annoyed with this. Reassure him that you do care. Of course, is he's always jealous and always acting crazy, that's a problem. But you said this was a one off based on someone who is obviously flirting with you and interested. It makes sense that he is jealous and in facts, as Dr Ramani points out, is an indication that he really cares and still has skin in the game.

Dude. Clearly you missed the other red flags. They had a huge argument about his jealousy, then he acted sulky and distant for a few DAYS. That's not normal or healthy amounts of jealousy. And then it's possible he left his phone out for her to see full of flirting texts with some other woman. That's some immature BS.

Look at the whole picture

Well he's young, right? So him being immature is par for the course and something he will mature out of. If he was behaving this way at 45- sure, it would be a problem. At 22- it's normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster, with a different perspective. I don't see any of this as such a big deal for a dating couple in their mid twenties.

A make co-worker flirted with the girl at a party - so what?

The boyfriend got jealous and they had a fight - pretty predictable

A cute girl tried to move in on the guy over text - he did not do anything, but did not tell her to get lost - maybe revenge, maybe coincidence

The girlfriend snooped into his phone and read the texts, and now is hurt - not nice, but predictable and not uncommon

I am a bit older, and when I was in my twenties, I had this sort of behavior in all my relationships, as did most of my friends. These are not either person's best moments, but not too terrible either.

Most people grow out of this behavior by their thirties.

That is my two cents.

Right, this is very normal behavior for a couple in their 20s. This board is full of boomers and pearl clutchers who have lost all touch with reality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the very respected Dr Ramani talking about how jealousy is very healthy and in fact and indication that someone cares. (at 33:04)

I wouldn't be annoyed with this. Reassure him that you do care. Of course, is he's always jealous and always acting crazy, that's a problem. But you said this was a one off based on someone who is obviously flirting with you and interested. It makes sense that he is jealous and in facts, as Dr Ramani points out, is an indication that he really cares and still has skin in the game.

Dude. Clearly you missed the other red flags. They had a huge argument about his jealousy, then he acted sulky and distant for a few DAYS. That's not normal or healthy amounts of jealousy. And then it's possible he left his phone out for her to see full of flirting texts with some other woman. That's some immature BS.

Look at the whole picture

Well he's young, right? So him being immature is par for the course and something he will mature out of. If he was behaving this way at 45- sure, it would be a problem. At 22- it's normal.

That's a HUGE assumption. There are plenty of people stuck at this stage mentally in their 30s and 40s. And now they are in miserable marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster, with a different perspective. I don't see any of this as such a big deal for a dating couple in their mid twenties.

A make co-worker flirted with the girl at a party - so what?

The boyfriend got jealous and they had a fight - pretty predictable

A cute girl tried to move in on the guy over text - he did not do anything, but did not tell her to get lost - maybe revenge, maybe coincidence

The girlfriend snooped into his phone and read the texts, and now is hurt - not nice, but predictable and not uncommon

I am a bit older, and when I was in my twenties, I had this sort of behavior in all my relationships, as did most of my friends. These are not either person's best moments, but not too terrible either.

Most people grow out of this behavior by their thirties.

That is my two cents.

Right, this is very normal behavior for a couple in their 20s. This board is full of boomers and pearl clutchers who have lost all touch with reality

Do you even read this board? It's full of couples who started out like OP and never changed their dynamic. It's not wrong to demand a healthy relationship from the beginning no matter how old you are. Sulking for days is beyond normal 20s drama.