Would a man deliberately try to make a woman jealous?
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Anonymous
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I am a young professional woman in a relationship.
Recently there was an issue with my boyfriend. He came to a work party with me and told me that he though a colleague of mine was flirting with me. Said colleague is an attractive, fit young man (our age), and is jokey and friendly. Sometimes I do think he can be flirty, but obviously we've never gone there. I'm sure maybe he would want to sleep with me or date me if the opportunity arose, but obviously I am committed to my boyfriend and have no interest in dating this guy. He said the guy was staring at me the whole night and this resulted in a huge argument. I have no idea what he would want me to do anyway- even if the guy is flirty sometime, it's not I could get him fired or report him to HR- nor would I want to! He is flirty at times but friendly and I mostly enjoy working with him. I told him he was making a big deal out of nothing. Anyway, ever since the party, he's been somewhat distant and weird. The other day, he left his phone, unlocked, open on the coffee table while we were watching movie, and left to do something in another room. After several minutes I finally gave in to curiosity and picked it up and saw that it was texts from a mutual friend, say her name is Lauren. She's our age and in our extended circle, pretty, cute, and always been somewhat friendly/maybe flirty with my BF. I scrolled through their texts and saw that she had been texting him (I didnt even knew they had each other's phone numbers!) and had been repeatedly asking him to come over or do things to hang out (i.e. "come to the bar right now!"). This began shortly after our fight and while he didnt accept any of her invitations, he would kind of not turn her down, i.e. "What time are you guys staying?" "I have an early meeting tomorrow but let me know next time" and basically not putting an end to it. I honestly didn't know what to do about this info, so I just put his phone back when I heard him coming and havent mentioned it. I've never been cheated on or anything and while this isn't technically cheating I feel hurt. I dont know whether it will lead to cheating, but then it seems strange that the phone was opened to the texts and everything. I almost wonder if he wanted me to see them so I will take his side about the coworker and "cut him off" like he wants me to? But then it seems like such an irrational way to handle things? Do men do stuff like this to make women jealous? Or is he just going to cheat now and I should just dump him now? |
Anonymous
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tl;dr
Stop snooping through your boyfriend's phone. |
Anonymous
| Of course. Men are human, they have the same impulses, however irrational, as women. |
Anonymous
| Yes. My ex used to do it. Run op. |
Anonymous
| So his phone didn't shut off automatically after a minute or so? Then he would have to deliberately have changed the "auto lock" feature and disabled it. So maybe he wanted you to see it |
Anonymous
| He sounds insecure - he is a loser. Dump him. |
Anonymous
| Yes. I doubt he is actally intending to cheat. just wants you to show him love and affection. Hes tryijng to get your ateention |
Anonymous
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He wanted you to see them and you took the bait.
I’d dump him and not tell him you saw the texts. He’s insecure and is probably both pleased he has this other woman texting him and he’s able to use them to make you feel how he feels when he sees you talking to other men. Insecure. |
Anonymous
| Run OP. Don't talk to him about it, just move on. |
Anonymous
It was already open to the texts which is why I just leaned over to read them |
Anonymous
| Yes, it's usually a red flag. Extricate yourself now OP. |
Anonymous
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How old is he OP?
Because it DOES appear he is trying to make you jealous but is doing it in a very juvenile manner. |
Anonymous
He's 23 and I'm 26 |
Anonymous
Gross. |
Anonymous
 The ageism of the boomers on here is getting out of control and laughable. How would you feel if someone said the same about your sagging body?
Stop hating on the young because you're jealous! |