Would a man deliberately try to make a woman jealous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him. Seriously. I dated a guy like this. Save yourself the drama. He’s a narcissist. He likely trashes his ex girlfriends which is another red flag. Run. You deserve better. I bet if you thought about it, you’d find the other red flags you’ve been dismissing. Don’t question or doubt yourself on this one. You posted for a reason. Get out.

I honestly cant think of many other red flags. He's usually very sweet and attentive. The only possible red flag is that he's pushed for commitment very early on- wanted to be exclusive/monogramous very soon after meeting, and has wanted to get engaged for a while now (i think we're too young). He seemed like he just "knew" very early, before i did. Only other red flag I can think of is he is very bad at expressing emotions and seems to express himself better through sex, if that makes sense. I think he has a very hard time verbalizing when he gets upset and tends to shut down.

So I do wonder if it's my fault for not assuring him better. I could tell it was bothering him but I didnt expect him to do something like this. Im not sure if it counts as cheating or not...

Take it from someone who is about a decade older than you, move on from this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him. Seriously. I dated a guy like this. Save yourself the drama. He’s a narcissist. He likely trashes his ex girlfriends which is another red flag. Run. You deserve better. I bet if you thought about it, you’d find the other red flags you’ve been dismissing. Don’t question or doubt yourself on this one. You posted for a reason. Get out.

I honestly cant think of many other red flags. He's usually very sweet and attentive. The only possible red flag is that he's pushed for commitment very early on- wanted to be exclusive/monogramous very soon after meeting, and has wanted to get engaged for a while now (i think we're too young). He seemed like he just "knew" very early, before i did. Only other red flag I can think of is he is very bad at expressing emotions and seems to express himself better through sex, if that makes sense. I think he has a very hard time verbalizing when he gets upset and tends to shut down.

So I do wonder if it's my fault for not assuring him better. I could tell it was bothering him but I didnt expect him to do something like this. Im not sure if it counts as cheating or not...

What the actual?? No. Dump him. He's love bombing you, trying to control you with jealousy and shuts down when trying to express his emotions. Complete Immaturity. Narcissistic traits.

Sadly you won't listen. https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him. Seriously. I dated a guy like this. Save yourself the drama. He’s a narcissist. He likely trashes his ex girlfriends which is another red flag. Run. You deserve better. I bet if you thought about it, you’d find the other red flags you’ve been dismissing. Don’t question or doubt yourself on this one. You posted for a reason. Get out.

I honestly cant think of many other red flags. He's usually very sweet and attentive. The only possible red flag is that he's pushed for commitment very early on- wanted to be exclusive/monogramous very soon after meeting, and has wanted to get engaged for a while now (i think we're too young). He seemed like he just "knew" very early, before i did. Only other red flag I can think of is he is very bad at expressing emotions and seems to express himself better through sex, if that makes sense. I think he has a very hard time verbalizing when he gets upset and tends to shut down.

So I do wonder if it's my fault for not assuring him better. I could tell it was bothering him but I didnt expect him to do something like this. Im not sure if it counts as cheating or not...

Take it from someone who is about a decade older than you, move on from this guy.

I'm two decades older than OP. I've seen this crap play out time and time again. He's bad news. Distant ever since a guy talked to you in a little bit of a flirty way?? That's NOT cheating!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him. Seriously. I dated a guy like this. Save yourself the drama. He’s a narcissist. He likely trashes his ex girlfriends which is another red flag. Run. You deserve better. I bet if you thought about it, you’d find the other red flags you’ve been dismissing. Don’t question or doubt yourself on this one. You posted for a reason. Get out.

I honestly cant think of many other red flags. He's usually very sweet and attentive. The only possible red flag is that he's pushed for commitment very early on- wanted to be exclusive/monogramous very soon after meeting, and has wanted to get engaged for a while now (i think we're too young). He seemed like he just "knew" very early, before i did. Only other red flag I can think of is he is very bad at expressing emotions and seems to express himself better through sex, if that makes sense. I think he has a very hard time verbalizing when he gets upset and tends to shut down.

So I do wonder if it's my fault for not assuring him better. I could tell it was bothering him but I didnt expect him to do something like this. Im not sure if it counts as cheating or not...

What the actual?? No. Dump him. He's love bombing you, trying to control you with jealousy and shuts down when trying to express his emotions. Complete Immaturity. Narcissistic traits.

Sadly you won't listen. https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/

But I honestly dont think he's a narcissist- and I have experience with them. Hes actually incredibly sweet, understanding, and supportive most of the time. During the discussion about the coworkers, in the heat of the moment I threw out that "maybe we should take a break", although I immediately backtracked. I honestly wonder if that did it.

The thing that really bothers me about him is he's extremely sensitive with language. He never had a girlfriend before me, and sometimes it feels like he hangs on my every word. I once made a critical comment about his mom and he was extremely upset. It seems like he takes everything I say super seriously and I feel like he isnt good at bringing things up and handling them like a grownup. But this is his only flaw. He's been the most encouraging and affirming partner I've ever had other than this flaw. I just wish he wasnt so sensitive and makes a mountain out of a mole hill whenever he thinks I'm "pulling away"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him. Seriously. I dated a guy like this. Save yourself the drama. He’s a narcissist. He likely trashes his ex girlfriends which is another red flag. Run. You deserve better. I bet if you thought about it, you’d find the other red flags you’ve been dismissing. Don’t question or doubt yourself on this one. You posted for a reason. Get out.

I honestly cant think of many other red flags. He's usually very sweet and attentive. The only possible red flag is that he's pushed for commitment very early on- wanted to be exclusive/monogramous very soon after meeting, and has wanted to get engaged for a while now (i think we're too young). He seemed like he just "knew" very early, before i did. Only other red flag I can think of is he is very bad at expressing emotions and seems to express himself better through sex, if that makes sense. I think he has a very hard time verbalizing when he gets upset and tends to shut down.

So I do wonder if it's my fault for not assuring him better. I could tell it was bothering him but I didnt expect him to do something like this. Im not sure if it counts as cheating or not...

What the actual?? No. Dump him. He's love bombing you, trying to control you with jealousy and shuts down when trying to express his emotions. Complete Immaturity. Narcissistic traits.

Sadly you won't listen. https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/

But I honestly dont think he's a narcissist- and I have experience with them. Hes actually incredibly sweet, understanding, and supportive most of the time. During the discussion about the coworkers, in the heat of the moment I threw out that "maybe we should take a break", although I immediately backtracked. I honestly wonder if that did it.

The thing that really bothers me about him is he's extremely sensitive with language. He never had a girlfriend before me, and sometimes it feels like he hangs on my every word. I once made a critical comment about his mom and he was extremely upset. It seems like he takes everything I say super seriously and I feel like he isnt good at bringing things up and handling them like a grownup. But this is his only flaw. He's been the most encouraging and affirming partner I've ever had other than this flaw. I just wish he wasnt so sensitive and makes a mountain out of a mole hill whenever he thinks I'm "pulling away"

Narcissists come in many forms and the fact that you've had experience with them before makes it all the more likely he is one. A classic narc move is to be extremely "sensitive" towards any criticism and turn things back on you and make you feeling like you have to fix things and make them better, and yes they can be oh so charming and sweet and supportive until they aren't. This guy is showing you who he is. Believe him.

Even if heisn't a narc, this guy is not the one. And there is more than one red flag her. The advice is to move on,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dump him. Seriously. I dated a guy like this. Save yourself the drama. He’s a narcissist. He likely trashes his ex girlfriends which is another red flag. Run. You deserve better. I bet if you thought about it, you’d find the other red flags you’ve been dismissing. Don’t question or doubt yourself on this one. You posted for a reason. Get out.

I honestly cant think of many other red flags. He's usually very sweet and attentive. The only possible red flag is that he's pushed for commitment very early on- wanted to be exclusive/monogramous very soon after meeting, and has wanted to get engaged for a while now (i think we're too young). He seemed like he just "knew" very early, before i did. Only other red flag I can think of is he is very bad at expressing emotions and seems to express himself better through sex, if that makes sense. I think he has a very hard time verbalizing when he gets upset and tends to shut down.

So I do wonder if it's my fault for not assuring him better. I could tell it was bothering him but I didnt expect him to do something like this. Im not sure if it counts as cheating or not...

PP you are responding to here. I hope to god you are a troll. You are headed for an abusive relationship if not. If you are a troll, this is nothing to joke about. Those are huge red flags and the controlling and testing will only get worse.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs on here who say that you should maybe bring this up to him in conversation. It could be he's very bad at communicating and a therapist or licensed professional could get him to be able to better open up to you.

There seems to be a real aversion to "jealousy" in any form on this board as of the past several days, and I believe there are one or two very strident posters who go out of their way to make/start/brigade threads about it, for God knows what reason. Perhaps theyve never experienced jealousy with their partner and there's some feeling of inadequacy or something. Not sure, but jealousy is perfectly normal and healthy to feel in a relationship. It just needs to be expressed honestly, not in a passive aggressive way.

Trying couples counseling or relationship therapy would be a great solution to get his feelings out in the open. Many men have no way of expressing their emotions and were never taught to tap into them in the first place, leading to bizarre scenarios like you describe in your OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs on here who say that you should maybe bring this up to him in conversation. It could be he's very bad at communicating and a therapist or licensed professional could get him to be able to better open up to you.

There seems to be a real aversion to "jealousy" in any form on this board as of the past several days, and I believe there are one or two very strident posters who go out of their way to make/start/brigade threads about it, for God knows what reason. Perhaps theyve never experienced jealousy with their partner and there's some feeling of inadequacy or something. Not sure, but jealousy is perfectly normal and healthy to feel in a relationship. It just needs to be expressed honestly, not in a passive aggressive way.

Trying couples counseling or relationship therapy would be a great solution to get his feelings out in the open. Many men have no way of expressing their emotions and were never taught to tap into them in the first place, leading to bizarre scenarios like you describe in your OP.

FCK no! this is a boyfriend of a few months, plenty of men know how to express themselves in healthy ways besides jealousy and starting fights and being "sensitive to criticism" OP needs to moe on and you need to stop normalizing and encouraging people especially women to stay in toxic relationships. It's not the girlfriends job to fice a broken man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs on here who say that you should maybe bring this up to him in conversation. It could be he's very bad at communicating and a therapist or licensed professional could get him to be able to better open up to you.

There seems to be a real aversion to "jealousy" in any form on this board as of the past several days, and I believe there are one or two very strident posters who go out of their way to make/start/brigade threads about it, for God knows what reason. Perhaps theyve never experienced jealousy with their partner and there's some feeling of inadequacy or something. Not sure, but jealousy is perfectly normal and healthy to feel in a relationship. It just needs to be expressed honestly, not in a passive aggressive way.

Trying couples counseling or relationship therapy would be a great solution to get his feelings out in the open. Many men have no way of expressing their emotions and were never taught to tap into them in the first place, leading to bizarre scenarios like you describe in your OP.

LOL. Therapy for a new relationship. Serious trolling in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs on here who say that you should maybe bring this up to him in conversation. It could be he's very bad at communicating and a therapist or licensed professional could get him to be able to better open up to you.

There seems to be a real aversion to "jealousy" in any form on this board as of the past several days, and I believe there are one or two very strident posters who go out of their way to make/start/brigade threads about it, for God knows what reason. Perhaps theyve never experienced jealousy with their partner and there's some feeling of inadequacy or something. Not sure, but jealousy is perfectly normal and healthy to feel in a relationship. It just needs to be expressed honestly, not in a passive aggressive way.

Trying couples counseling or relationship therapy would be a great solution to get his feelings out in the open. Many men have no way of expressing their emotions and were never taught to tap into them in the first place, leading to bizarre scenarios like you describe in your OP.

FCK no! this is a boyfriend of a few months, plenty of men know how to express themselves in healthy ways besides jealousy and starting fights and being "sensitive to criticism" OP needs to moe on and you need to stop normalizing and encouraging people especially women to stay in toxic relationships. It's not the girlfriends job to fice a broken man.

She obviously really likes him and says he's great other than this one quality. People can learn and get better. One very small flaw is not worth ending a relationship over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs on here who say that you should maybe bring this up to him in conversation. It could be he's very bad at communicating and a therapist or licensed professional could get him to be able to better open up to you.

There seems to be a real aversion to "jealousy" in any form on this board as of the past several days, and I believe there are one or two very strident posters who go out of their way to make/start/brigade threads about it, for God knows what reason. Perhaps theyve never experienced jealousy with their partner and there's some feeling of inadequacy or something. Not sure, but jealousy is perfectly normal and healthy to feel in a relationship. It just needs to be expressed honestly, not in a passive aggressive way.

Trying couples counseling or relationship therapy would be a great solution to get his feelings out in the open. Many men have no way of expressing their emotions and were never taught to tap into them in the first place, leading to bizarre scenarios like you describe in your OP.

FCK no! this is a boyfriend of a few months, plenty of men know how to express themselves in healthy ways besides jealousy and starting fights and being "sensitive to criticism" OP needs to moe on and you need to stop normalizing and encouraging people especially women to stay in toxic relationships. It's not the girlfriends job to fice a broken man.

She obviously really likes him and says he's great other than this one quality. People can learn and get better. One very small flaw is not worth ending a relationship over

Yeah but she's also obviously really naive and he's also obviously a controlling manipulative douchebag.

-NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs on here who say that you should maybe bring this up to him in conversation. It could be he's very bad at communicating and a therapist or licensed professional could get him to be able to better open up to you.

There seems to be a real aversion to "jealousy" in any form on this board as of the past several days, and I believe there are one or two very strident posters who go out of their way to make/start/brigade threads about it, for God knows what reason. Perhaps theyve never experienced jealousy with their partner and there's some feeling of inadequacy or something. Not sure, but jealousy is perfectly normal and healthy to feel in a relationship. It just needs to be expressed honestly, not in a passive aggressive way.

Trying couples counseling or relationship therapy would be a great solution to get his feelings out in the open. Many men have no way of expressing their emotions and were never taught to tap into them in the first place, leading to bizarre scenarios like you describe in your OP.

FCK no! this is a boyfriend of a few months, plenty of men know how to express themselves in healthy ways besides jealousy and starting fights and being "sensitive to criticism" OP needs to moe on and you need to stop normalizing and encouraging people especially women to stay in toxic relationships. It's not the girlfriends job to fice a broken man.

She obviously really likes him and says he's great other than this one quality. People can learn and get better. One very small flaw is not worth ending a relationship over

It's not one very small flaw. It's huge effing red flag of an abusive and manipulative person. Let me guess you got married at 22 and this is the kind of BS you tolerate in your relationship, but you crow about being together for 22 years and growing together

[Anonymous]

Honey, I married a 23 year old man. We divorced 15 years later. I WISH we would have just dated and had fun, instead of dragging it out for years, having kids, and putting them througg an ugly divorce. Your boyfriend's behavior sounds familiar.

He's proving he's not even solid boyfriend material. He definitely isn't husband material. Save yourself heartache. Send him to the bar with Lauren.

[Anonymous]

(The above was said with love and a mom hug). My own mom had to help drag me away from an emotionally abusive marriage. Please don't marry this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs on here who say that you should maybe bring this up to him in conversation. It could be he's very bad at communicating and a therapist or licensed professional could get him to be able to better open up to you.

There seems to be a real aversion to "jealousy" in any form on this board as of the past several days, and I believe there are one or two very strident posters who go out of their way to make/start/brigade threads about it, for God knows what reason. Perhaps theyve never experienced jealousy with their partner and there's some feeling of inadequacy or something. Not sure, but jealousy is perfectly normal and healthy to feel in a relationship. It just needs to be expressed honestly, not in a passive aggressive way.

Trying couples counseling or relationship therapy would be a great solution to get his feelings out in the open. Many men have no way of expressing their emotions and were never taught to tap into them in the first place, leading to bizarre scenarios like you describe in your OP.

FCK no! this is a boyfriend of a few months, plenty of men know how to express themselves in healthy ways besides jealousy and starting fights and being "sensitive to criticism" OP needs to moe on and you need to stop normalizing and encouraging people especially women to stay in toxic relationships. It's not the girlfriends job to fice a broken man.

She obviously really likes him and says he's great other than this one quality. People can learn and get better. One very small flaw is not worth ending a relationship over

It's not one very small flaw. It's huge effing red flag of an abusive and manipulative person. Let me guess you got married at 22 and this is the kind of BS you tolerate in your relationship, but you crow about being together for 22 years and growing together

No and no. Look, I'm a woman and I get jealous. Jealous is okay and healthy within a relationship. It just needs to be explained and communicated in a functional way. Passive aggressive stuff is bad no matter the motivation. But jealousy in itself is not some giant red flag. On the contrary, it can be a sign of the intensity of emotion and attachment.