When do you decide this isn’t working out and apply to another school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sure you don't want to post your school (and I'm not encouraging you to), but our school likes to present as a mainstream private, and the social stuff has always been a mess. When you really dig into it, one of my kid's classes is full of kids with social and learning challenges who aren't getting support. Many are good kids, but some are quite rough on each other. It would be really hard to see that as a new family. To the extent you can make contact with some other families and try to figure out what is going on, I would. The decision may get easier.

I know you don't want to name the school but a little more info would be great because this would be a nightmare for an applicant like my son.

[Anonymous]

We transferred out of Big 3 to another private. Never regretted. We know many others who did same.

Check Bullis, St. Andrews, Sandy Spring, Burke and Field. The first three take sports fairly seriously and the last two have better sports than you might think (for some teams).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sure you don't want to post your school (and I'm not encouraging you to), but our school likes to present as a mainstream private, and the social stuff has always been a mess. When you really dig into it, one of my kid's classes is full of kids with social and learning challenges who aren't getting support. Many are good kids, but some are quite rough on each other. It would be really hard to see that as a new family. To the extent you can make contact with some other families and try to figure out what is going on, I would. The decision may get easier.

I know you don't want to name the school but a little more info would be great because this would be a nightmare for an applicant like my son.

I'm the poster above. If your child is old enough to be able to evaluate the environment, I would ask to visit with the class that they would be joining, rather than the grade that they are going into. Also, ask lots of questions about the resources available at the school. For example, how many learning specialists and guidance counselors are there? If a school is a magnet for kids with more complicated learning profiles, you want more support for the classroom teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seeking some input. We have an athletic child who is pretty average in school. He’s pretty sensitive, not a good test taker with a very mild LD, no behavioral issues and has average social skills. Due to covid, we couldn’t tour classes in person last year and only got in to one private school. He loves the teachers at his new school and the activities and campus but isn’t making many friends and it’s bothering him. He wants us to save our money and send him to public school with his friends but the public school is not the best and wouldn’t support him academically. Do we start our search for a new private school again for next year?

How is he doing academically?

Our DS is the same. It’s hard to know because it was so competitive the last few years, it isn’t like folks had many options to choose from.

PP here. Our DS is all As. Enjoying academics but socially it’s a bust.

Op here. He’s doing well academically-As and high Bs and is in middle school. I hate to go through the application process again but I think we don’t have another choice as he says he isn’t happy.

If he isn’t happy apply elsewhere. Pick two places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have not already, I would encourage you to speak to the teacher.

This was exactly my situation when I was in 5th grade. Parents transferred me to private for many reasons and everything was fine except the social component. My parents talked to the teacher, teacher grouped me with 2 girls for certain activities and boom.. those 2 girls are my best friends to this day. We are complete opposites in most parts of our lives but the three of us will do anything for each other.

I hope school gets better for your son.

+1 to this. I’m a former middle school teacher, and there is a lot teachers can do to help facilitate social connections if you give them a heads up that your child is struggling. Teachers are pretty good at predicting who will get along with whom, and they can assign groups and projects in a way that helps build these connections.

Also keep in mind that returning to the old school may not be what the child envisions. Hard though it is, the social scene has likely changed and shifted - if the child goes back, it’s not going to be like it was before leaving. Old friends make new friends, groups realign, etc.. Going back is often harder than starting somewhere new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have not already, I would encourage you to speak to the teacher.

This was exactly my situation when I was in 5th grade. Parents transferred me to private for many reasons and everything was fine except the social component. My parents talked to the teacher, teacher grouped me with 2 girls for certain activities and boom.. those 2 girls are my best friends to this day. We are complete opposites in most parts of our lives but the three of us will do anything for each other.

I hope school gets better for your son.

+1 to this. I’m a former middle school teacher, and there is a lot teachers can do to help facilitate social connections if you give them a heads up that your child is struggling. Teachers are pretty good at predicting who will get along with whom, and they can assign groups and projects in a way that helps build these connections.

Also keep in mind that returning to the old school may not be what the child envisions. Hard though it is, the social scene has likely changed and shifted - if the child goes back, it’s not going to be like it was before leaving. Old friends make new friends, groups realign, etc.. Going back is often harder than starting somewhere new.

+1000. Kids move on.

[Anonymous]

If this s a k-12 then the grade will expand and hopefully better social dynamic
MS years are tough especially if new to the school not making friends and class size is small. It’s hard to change that dynamic

[Anonymous]

This may have been said but most privates add a big cohort in 9th grade. It’s early yet to find friends. Is he participating in some clubs and intramurals?