When do you decide this isn’t working out and apply to another school?

[Anonymous]

If you have not already, I would encourage you to speak to the teacher.

This was exactly my situation when I was in 5th grade. Parents transferred me to private for many reasons and everything was fine except the social component. My parents talked to the teacher, teacher grouped me with 2 girls for certain activities and boom.. those 2 girls are my best friends to this day. We are complete opposites in most parts of our lives but the three of us will do anything for each other.

I hope school gets better for your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seeking some input. We have an athletic child who is pretty average in school. He’s pretty sensitive, not a good test taker with a very mild LD, no behavioral issues and has average social skills. Due to covid, we couldn’t tour classes in person last year and only got in to one private school. He loves the teachers at his new school and the activities and campus but isn’t making many friends and it’s bothering him. He wants us to save our money and send him to public school with his friends but the public school is not the best and wouldn’t support him academically. Do we start our search for a new private school again for next year?

How is he doing academically?

Our DS is the same. It’s hard to know because it was so competitive the last few years, it isn’t like folks had many options to choose from.

PP here. Our DS is all As. Enjoying academics but socially it’s a bust.

Let him go back to school with friends just make sure the friendships there are solid and plenty before he switches back. You can spend the money you are saving for tutors etc

[Anonymous]

I think it's tough socially at many private middle schools, so I wouldn't assume another private would be better. He's only been there a few months. I would keep him at the school, talk to his advisor/counselor about the situation, and give it some time. He can always return to public for high school. Also, if he's an athlete, I would imagine there are opportunities to build friendships through sports, no?

[Anonymous]

He only started in September at this school, is that correct? It's only November. It's way too early to draw any conclusions about how it is working out socially. It takes most of a school year to make friends at this age, and maybe two years to really integrate into a school community. Keep reminding him that it takes time.

[Anonymous]

The issue is middle school is tough socially. For all of them some of the time and for many of them, all of the time. The friend groups are constantly shifting and there isn't a whole lot of loyalty.

It's true he might have more options in a larger public middle school.

I had a friend who had sent kids to both private/public tell me once that middle school is kind of terrible so don't bother paying for it to be awful. So there's one school of thought I guess.

[Anonymous]

I had a DS move from public to private in 9th and it took almost a year (and time in an EC) to build a close friend group. It takes time. I agree with pps that November is too early to make a judgment. (I also would not move back to public for friendships. Kids change a lot in HS. Even if he had stayed in public friend groups can change pretty dramatically as kids get older.)

[Anonymous]

OP, if you have reached the point of posting here, then I suspect it is time. We moved after 9th grade from one well known private on this board to another and it saved the high school experience for DC. And it is just word of mouth, of course, but the people we know who switched kids out are uniformly happy they did so.

[Anonymous]

I'd say hold out a bit longer. Mine both took more than the first semester to settle in and become friends with anyone, and both kept connections with their public school friends in the meantime.

Also, keep in mind that this hasn't been the most "social" of school years so far. Everyone is still awkward from so much isolation, and with masks on all the time, it can be surprisingly difficult to connect to new people.

[Anonymous]

I would give it until late February but make sure you have a backup option. I would never let my child go to a DCPS middle school if that’s even where friends are and being considered.

[Anonymous]

I have one in public and one in private. My public kid gets a ton of tutoring because LCPS sucks a big one. I consider social growth just ad important as academic growth. I would NOT have my one son in private if he did not want to be there. Both of my kids are exactly where they want to be. School is enough pressure, they need to be happy where they are at. This is not life and death.

I also keep my private school kid heavily involved in sports. He does a sport, sometimes they overlap every season. This keeps my private school kid firmly entrenched in the local community. If he goes to public high school, he will walk in those doors knowing all the boys he has played sports with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate: he can still be friends with his public school pals even if he continues to go to this school. If friendships are the only issue right now, I would not be switching schools. The pandemic has made everything social less so, and our kids aren't hanging out with new families. They are with people we know and trust.

Quite surprisingly this piece isn't playing out as we'd assumed.

Kids also are changing my a lot. Our DS was drifting from friends, and you have to remember the core lesson of “Good Boys” — childhood friendships are neighbors and friends of your mom; teen and adult friendships are chosen by each member based on interests and personality. But that process of selection takes a LOT longer, and still has elements of proximity. Friendship has a 10,000 hours element of it, where you have to just have hours of unstructured time with potential friendships to germinate.

https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/8/16/20808517/good-boys-review-tremblay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give it until late February but make sure you have a backup option. I would never let my child go to a DCPS middle school if that’s even where friends are and being considered.

Hey now. DCPS middle schools (Hardy/Deal) are actually quite good, even this year.
I've had multiple kids go from Deal to Big3 schools for 9th (including this year) and they've done really well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give it until late February but make sure you have a backup option. I would never let my child go to a DCPS middle school if that’s even where friends are and being considered.

Hey now. DCPS middle schools (Hardy/Deal) are actually quite good, even this year.
I've had multiple kids go from Deal to Big3 schools for 9th (including this year) and they've done really well.

Lolololololol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give it until late February but make sure you have a backup option. I would never let my child go to a DCPS middle school if that’s even where friends are and being considered.

Hey now. DCPS middle schools (Hardy/Deal) are actually quite good, even this year.
I've had multiple kids go from Deal to Big3 schools for 9th (including this year) and they've done really well.

Lolololololol

Laugh all you want but my Deal kid is now at a "Big3", getting straight A's (which is a rarity at this school).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give it until late February but make sure you have a backup option. I would never let my child go to a DCPS middle school if that’s even where friends are and being considered.

But aren’t all the admissions events and such before Feb?