When do you decide this isn’t working out and apply to another school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give it until late February but make sure you have a backup option. I would never let my child go to a DCPS middle school if that’s even where friends are and being considered.

Hey now. DCPS middle schools (Hardy/Deal) are actually quite good, even this year.
I've had multiple kids go from Deal to Big3 schools for 9th (including this year) and they've done really well.

Lolololololol

Laugh all you want but my Deal kid is now at a "Big3", getting straight A's (which is a rarity at this school).

Because he has involved parents. Not because of Deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you have reached the point of posting here, then I suspect it is time. We moved after 9th grade from one well known private on this board to another and it saved the high school experience for DC. And it is just word of mouth, of course, but the people we know who switched kids out are uniformly happy they did so.

We have a friend whose kid transferred from a big3 to a different private and they have regretted it. It is too late to change, as the kid is now a senior, but they have been very unhappy at the new school. Of course, they were unhappy at the old school as well, but it isn't uniform that the grass is always greener.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give it until late February but make sure you have a backup option. I would never let my child go to a DCPS middle school if that’s even where friends are and being considered.

Hey now. DCPS middle schools (Hardy/Deal) are actually quite good, even this year.
I've had multiple kids go from Deal to Big3 schools for 9th (including this year) and they've done really well.

Lolololololol

Laugh all you want but my Deal kid is now at a "Big3", getting straight A's (which is a rarity at this school).

Because he has involved parents. Not because of Deal.

Dela only has 55% of their math students passing standardized benchmarks. That's really pathetic. Deal wins the tallest midget contest in DCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seeking some input. We have an athletic child who is pretty average in school. He’s pretty sensitive, not a good test taker with a very mild LD, no behavioral issues and has average social skills. Due to covid, we couldn’t tour classes in person last year and only got in to one private school. He loves the teachers at his new school and the activities and campus but isn’t making many friends and it’s bothering him. He wants us to save our money and send him to public school with his friends but the public school is not the best and wouldn’t support him academically. Do we start our search for a new private school again for next year?

How is he doing academically?

Our DS is the same. It’s hard to know because it was so competitive the last few years, it isn’t like folks had many options to choose from.

PP here. Our DS is all As. Enjoying academics but socially it’s a bust.

Op here. He’s doing well academically-As and high Bs and is in middle school. I hate to go through the application process again but I think we don’t have another choice as he says he isn’t happy.

MS is tough for friend making. I think you're jumping ship too quickly, give him time to find his people. It can take longer and longer the older kids get, very different from Elementary school. And if you move now, he'll be starting over again and possibly in a school that isnt as great of a fit in other areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seeking some input. We have an athletic child who is pretty average in school. He’s pretty sensitive, not a good test taker with a very mild LD, no behavioral issues and has average social skills. Due to covid, we couldn’t tour classes in person last year and only got in to one private school. He loves the teachers at his new school and the activities and campus but isn’t making many friends and it’s bothering him. He wants us to save our money and send him to public school with his friends but the public school is not the best and wouldn’t support him academically. Do we start our search for a new private school again for next year?

How is he doing academically?

Our DS is the same. It’s hard to know because it was so competitive the last few years, it isn’t like folks had many options to choose from.

PP here. Our DS is all As. Enjoying academics but socially it’s a bust.

Op here. He’s doing well academically-As and high Bs and is in middle school. I hate to go through the application process again but I think we don’t have another choice as he says he isn’t happy.

MS is tough for friend making. I think you're jumping ship too quickly, give him time to find his people. It can take longer and longer the older kids get, very different from Elementary school. And if you move now, he'll be starting over again and possibly in a school that isnt as great of a fit in other areas.

What if he WANTS to change privates?

[Anonymous]

when my very bright child (95 percentile) told me she was stupid. She was repeating what the kids at school told her and assumed it was true because the teacher never told the kids to stop.

[Anonymous]

OP, also remember that it definitely takes boys longer than girls for friendships to form, especially at this age. I have a son in 9th who moved to a new private this year. He still hangs out mostly with friends from his old school (I help a little by keeping in touch with the moms), but over the last month or so I started noticing texts comping in from kids from his new school. They aren’t getting together outside of school activities yet, but at least I see momentum. I think it’s going to turn out fine. Also while you DS is still in middle school it’s not yet weird for you to reach out to other moms of kids he likes to suggest a get together to give a little nudge to see if it helps. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

We're facing a similar issue, OP. We're at a SN school and kid loves it academically, and is doing well. Improving where she needs to. But the girl group is sooo small and so much drama. Mostly caused by one kid who likes to agitate, manipulate and pit kids against each other. It's caused issues. If DD can stay away from her, it's OK, but some days, it's not possible. The kids pair up and she ends up with troublemaker and when she gets home, it's tears and headaches and not wanting to go back.

She stays in touch with some of her public school friends and we make sure to do playdates with them more, simply because she'll be back in public with them one day. They're "easier," if that makes sense.

We're not ready to pull her out of private; she really needs the help. But dang, this social stuff is not something we thought would be such a big issue. It def caught us by surprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seeking some input. We have an athletic child who is pretty average in school. He’s pretty sensitive, not a good test taker with a very mild LD, no behavioral issues and has average social skills. Due to covid, we couldn’t tour classes in person last year and only got in to one private school. He loves the teachers at his new school and the activities and campus but isn’t making many friends and it’s bothering him. He wants us to save our money and send him to public school with his friends but the public school is not the best and wouldn’t support him academically. Do we start our search for a new private school again for next year?

How is he doing academically?

Our DS is the same. It’s hard to know because it was so competitive the last few years, it isn’t like folks had many options to choose from.

PP here. Our DS is all As. Enjoying academics but socially it’s a bust.

Op here. He’s doing well academically-As and high Bs and is in middle school. I hate to go through the application process again but I think we don’t have another choice as he says he isn’t happy.

MS is tough for friend making. I think you're jumping ship too quickly, give him time to find his people. It can take longer and longer the older kids get, very different from Elementary school. And if you move now, he'll be starting over again and possibly in a school that isnt as great of a fit in other areas.

What if he WANTS to change privates?

What would make another private a fit? Seems he’s in the right place academically so it’s hard to believe another private would check more boxes there. Since the issue is social, what makes him sure the other school is a better fit? I will assume that this school looked like a fit to him last year too?

Is next year an entry point at the other private? If it’s not, or if you just don’t get in, what next? I assume there’s a reason you switched from public in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're facing a similar issue, OP. We're at a SN school and kid loves it academically, and is doing well. Improving where she needs to. But the girl group is sooo small and so much drama. Mostly caused by one kid who likes to agitate, manipulate and pit kids against each other. It's caused issues. If DD can stay away from her, it's OK, but some days, it's not possible. The kids pair up and she ends up with troublemaker and when she gets home, it's tears and headaches and not wanting to go back.

She stays in touch with some of her public school friends and we make sure to do playdates with them more, simply because she'll be back in public with them one day. They're "easier," if that makes sense.

We're not ready to pull her out of private; she really needs the help. But dang, this social stuff is not something we thought would be such a big issue. It def caught us by surprise.

Grade?

Sadly mean kids are everywhere. Not just private school phenomena. Have you talked to the teacher?

[Anonymous]

I think it is a good idea to look if your kid is not happy socially. It is that time to do so and put in applications. But also check in with your private school advisor and see what they are seeing with your kid. My MS kid was miserable last year. The pandemic probably made the issues friendships more difficult, but she is thriving in a new middle school with lots of new friends at the new private school. Will say she has made a huge effort to push herself. She tries one new thing each week that is scary.

[Anonymous]

I have a child who is also weighing private back to public weekly, and I agree with the PPs who said to give it time. This is such a different year than any other, and will continue to be through this winter. If our kid wants to go back in public at deadline time we’ve said we will consider that but are trying to table the conversation and redirect til then. Have also said we are tabling a new private til HS. Grass is always greener, middle school is indeed hard, but socially this year takes the cake. And it’s going to just take more kids than many think time to recover and rebuild socially

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seeking some input. We have an athletic child who is pretty average in school. He’s pretty sensitive, not a good test taker with a very mild LD, no behavioral issues and has average social skills. Due to covid, we couldn’t tour classes in person last year and only got in to one private school. He loves the teachers at his new school and the activities and campus but isn’t making many friends and it’s bothering him. He wants us to save our money and send him to public school with his friends but the public school is not the best and wouldn’t support him academically. Do we start our search for a new private school again for next year?

How is he doing academically?

Our DS is the same. It’s hard to know because it was so competitive the last few years, it isn’t like folks had many options to choose from.

PP here. Our DS is all As. Enjoying academics but socially it’s a bust.

Op here. He’s doing well academically-As and high Bs and is in middle school. I hate to go through the application process again but I think we don’t have another choice as he says he isn’t happy.

MS is tough for friend making. I think you're jumping ship too quickly, give him time to find his people. It can take longer and longer the older kids get, very different from Elementary school. And if you move now, he'll be starting over again and possibly in a school that isnt as great of a fit in other areas.

What if he WANTS to change privates?

What would make another private a fit? Seems he’s in the right place academically so it’s hard to believe another private would check more boxes there. Since the issue is social, what makes him sure the other school is a better fit? I will assume that this school looked like a fit to him last year too?

Is next year an entry point at the other private? If it’s not, or if you just don’t get in, what next? I assume there’s a reason you switched from public in the first place.

No we didn’t feel current school was a fit but it was the best of limited options. The other school was his top choice but not accepted.

[Anonymous]

It is socially a bust because the group is slow it warm up and he's still trying to find his groove (totally normal and way too early to give up, if so); or has he met and interacted with everyone and doesn't like them enough to give them a chance at friendship? If the latter, I'd move.

[Anonymous]

I am sure you don't want to post your school (and I'm not encouraging you to), but our school likes to present as a mainstream private, and the social stuff has always been a mess. When you really dig into it, one of my kid's classes is full of kids with social and learning challenges who aren't getting support. Many are good kids, but some are quite rough on each other. It would be really hard to see that as a new family. To the extent you can make contact with some other families and try to figure out what is going on, I would. The decision may get easier.