Ethically non monogamous / open marriage / polyamorous / monogamish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

As a woman with herpes, I can assure you that it has had zero effect on my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

Couldn’t you just both get tested before like any other relationship?

Yes. See the bolded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

Making a lot of assumptions here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

As a woman with herpes, I can assure you that it has had zero effect on my life.

I'm not you. It would have a significant impact on mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

As a woman with herpes, I can assure you that it has had zero effect on my life.

I'm not you. It would have a significant impact on mine.

Yeah, that's what I thought too when I found out I had it. Now I actually forget most of the time, until one of these conversations comes up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

How do you define 'not a lot'?

About 70% of adults have been infected by HSV-1 and have antibodies against the virus. About 20 to 50% of adults will have antibodies against the HSV-2 virus, which causes genital herpes.

https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/tests/serum-herpes-simplex-antibodies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

How do you define 'not a lot'?

About 70% of adults have been infected by HSV-1 and have antibodies against the virus. About 20 to 50% of adults will have antibodies against the HSV-2 virus, which causes genital herpes.

https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/tests/serum-herpes-simplex-antibodies

There's no routine testing for 2, so it's not common. It's great if the ones with genital herpes don't think it's a big deal. I personally don't have it and don't want it, so having sex with randos is not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

How do you define 'not a lot'?

About 70% of adults have been infected by HSV-1 and have antibodies against the virus. About 20 to 50% of adults will have antibodies against the HSV-2 virus, which causes genital herpes.

https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/tests/serum-herpes-simplex-antibodies

There's no routine testing for 2, so it's not common. It's great if the ones with genital herpes don't think it's a big deal. I personally don't have it and don't want it, so having sex with randos is not worth it.

There's no routine testing because it's so common there's no point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

As a woman with herpes, I can assure you that it has had zero effect on my life.

As a woman with herpes I would have to assume that means you either are in a long term relationship or marriage, got it from your partner, and you both now only have sex with each other. Or, you just don't tell potential partners you have herpes and don't worry about the consequences. Any other scenario would likely have some impact on your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

As a woman with herpes, I can assure you that it has had zero effect on my life.

As a woman with herpes I would have to assume that means you either are in a long term relationship or marriage, got it from your partner, and you both now only have sex with each other. Or, you just don't tell potential partners you have herpes and don't worry about the consequences. Any other scenario would likely have some impact on your life.

None of those things is true. I got it when I was single (and having protected sex). I'm still single. I tell all partners. Nobody has had any issue with it. The two doctors I've slept with both laughed and told me they take PREP and Valtrex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am open to it but I worry about STDs, honestly.

Use condoms and insist that your partner does as well.

+1

Use condoms for intercourse. The main things that transmit from unprotected oral are treatable with antibiotics. Testing frequently is a good idea and not very inconvenient. There are at home tests that are convenient but rarely covered by insurance.

What?! No. Herpes.

Lots of people already have HSV antibodies, and viral suppressants work well.

Nope, not a lot of people have genital herpes and I'm sure nobody wants them or wishes to be on lifelong medication. If you are a woman with herpes, you can basically kill your newborn during birth, so that's why obgyns insist on c-section. So no, why would I want horrific breakouts on my genitals, lifelong meds, and extra complications during birth in order to have a ONS with someone else's husband with nothing else to gain other than maybe a pitiful orgasm.

How do you define 'not a lot'?

About 70% of adults have been infected by HSV-1 and have antibodies against the virus. About 20 to 50% of adults will have antibodies against the HSV-2 virus, which causes genital herpes.

https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/tests/serum-herpes-simplex-antibodies

There's no routine testing for 2, so it's not common. It's great if the ones with genital herpes don't think it's a big deal. I personally don't have it and don't want it, so having sex with randos is not worth it.

Then why did you post? The op asked about people who are not monogamous.