Daycare/Childcare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ya’ll be tripping. Your infant “thrived” in daycare? You mean got sick every couple weeks, cried when you left him/her, napped horribly, clung to you when you tried to leave, had a revolving door of staff (since the turnover rate of day care staff is 25 percent every year), spent way too much time in seated swings/chairs/bouncers, and got RSV, roseola, hand foot and mouth, and a bunch of other diseases you never heard of. Ok. I am going to keep saying it because I wish I had known, daycare for infants is awful. It’s just awful. You can lie to yourself to sleep at night but if you’re being honest with yourself you know your child would have rather been at home with you. Let’s not kid ourselves here, please.

My kid had literally none of that happen. The daycare didn’t allow bouncers, he got sick literally once, and had the same caregivers the whole time.
Stop mom shaming. A nanny is a huge expense the majority of people simply can’t afford.

She got sick literally once? Lol. My BS detector is going off right now. You’re clearly one of those selfish parents who pretends your kids cold/roseola/hand food and mouth/bronchiolitis is “just a little runny nose” and you dose them with Advil and send them to daycare to get the rest of the class sick. No effing way was your kid sick once, not a chance in hell is that true.

[Anonymous]

Yes, get on lists now, whether it’s a center, in home or putting feelers out for a nanny or nanny share. The in home and nanny route isn’t quite as time sensitive, but if you want a center you need in the lists ASAP.

As for which route to go, you will hear a horror story and a love story about each type of care. You need to tour, in person, or interview and see what your gut is telling you. See if you can get referrals from friends or neighbors.

We used a wonderful inhome where my close friend also had her children. Eight kids total, only two under 6 or 9 months I can’t remember which, and 3+ caregivers on any given day. We loved it, it was like family.

We moved to a new state and tried an in home I found highly recommended online. It was HORRIFIC. I still shudder that I left my baby there a few times that first week, before I really knew. We immediately withdrew and clobbered together care until a neighbor referred me to a friend of hers who had another inhome. Which was lovely and peaceful and only 3 kids and a great fit personality wise. We are still friends although we no longer use that type of care.

So you can read all these stories online, but really you need to explore places you actually have the opportunity to use, and see if they are a good fit or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ya’ll be tripping. Your infant “thrived” in daycare? You mean got sick every couple weeks, cried when you left him/her, napped horribly, clung to you when you tried to leave, had a revolving door of staff (since the turnover rate of day care staff is 25 percent every year), spent way too much time in seated swings/chairs/bouncers, and got RSV, roseola, hand foot and mouth, and a bunch of other diseases you never heard of. Ok. I am going to keep saying it because I wish I had known, daycare for infants is awful. It’s just awful. You can lie to yourself to sleep at night but if you’re being honest with yourself you know your child would have rather been at home with you. Let’s not kid ourselves here, please.

My kid had literally none of that happen. The daycare didn’t allow bouncers, he got sick literally once, and had the same caregivers the whole time.
Stop mom shaming. A nanny is a huge expense the majority of people simply can’t afford.

She got sick literally once? Lol. My BS detector is going off right now. You’re clearly one of those selfish parents who pretends your kids cold/roseola/hand food and mouth/bronchiolitis is “just a little runny nose” and you dose them with Advil and send them to daycare to get the rest of the class sick. No effing way was your kid sick once, not a chance in hell is that true.

Nope. Literally once when he was an infant. Kid never even had fever until he was 2 and a half. He had diarrhea once that cleared up in one day. Never had hand foot and mouth, never had a runny nose, never had a cough. Didn't get an ear infection until after that same fever he had when he was two and a half.

My Dad's a pediatrician too, so I'm well aware of childhood illnesses. I video chatted with my Dad all the time for things like diaper rash and one time when he had to get stitches (he fell at the park with us).

[Anonymous]

OP— the only advice you need to take from this weird thread is that you should get on lists. Make a decision later but get on lists now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ya’ll be tripping. Your infant “thrived” in daycare? You mean got sick every couple weeks, cried when you left him/her, napped horribly, clung to you when you tried to leave, had a revolving door of staff (since the turnover rate of day care staff is 25 percent every year), spent way too much time in seated swings/chairs/bouncers, and got RSV, roseola, hand foot and mouth, and a bunch of other diseases you never heard of. Ok. I am going to keep saying it because I wish I had known, daycare for infants is awful. It’s just awful. You can lie to yourself to sleep at night but if you’re being honest with yourself you know your child would have rather been at home with you. Let’s not kid ourselves here, please.

How old is your oldest child? You seem really hung up on this. I bet you couldn’t walk into a random elementary classroom and figure out which child attended daycare vs. had a nanny or SAHP in early infant hood. Us parents who have been through this before understand that so long as your child is in a safe environment with a generally responsive caregiver and comes home to a reliable, loving family, it will be ok. FWIW I’ve worked part time with in home help and full time with center-based care. The only reason I’m on here is b/c I’m pregnant with #3 and trying to remember what all I need to do to secure care since it’s been a while!

Also, my daycare baby caught the usual run of the mill colds while there. It wasn’t until in preschool she caught RSV and ended up in the hospital. And I have plenty of friends who are SAHMs whose babies caught HFM, roseola, etc. that they managed to pickup from various mommy and me classes, play groups, library story time, etc. These things just go around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the daycare shamers love this board. I had three kids in daycare at once, which was $$$, but I chose it instead of a nanny because I loved my daycare and my children’s time there. There are amazing daycares and awful daycares, there are amazing nannies and awful nannies. And overall there are pluses and minuses to both, even when they are amazing.

I think the best way to find out about daycares is to ask to speak to current parents (or post asking for opinions on your neighborhood listservs or FB groups). I am a reference for our daycare and I have spoken to a lot of parents about it- I always give my honest opinion including the things I am not thrilled with.

Completely. There is one moronic anti-daycare PP but obviously nothing is a monolith and each place or person is different.

[Anonymous]

If money is not an issue, I recommend hiring a nanny. But that requires a lot of money and is out of reach for a lot of people including myself, so I chose to quit my job.

It also depends on the infant. My older child is a super easy baby overall. He would sit in a rocker the entire day until he could pull up and walk. I would take him out for food and to nap, but he was just very content being in one spot when he was an infant. Never needed anyone to rock him to sleep, or hold him. I never felt tired with him.

My youngest child is very difficult in comparison. He has reflux which apparently is common in babies. Made him scream all day long until I was figured it out and switched his formula. He needs to be held all day long; if he sits in one spot for more than 5 minutes, he would scream. Feeding and burping took forever because of reflux. A complete opposite of my older child. I was exhausted carrying him around and then rocking him to sleep for every single nap. His naps are also terrible so I barely get any rest before getting up and doing it all over again. I can't imagine sending him to daycare because there is no way anyone would be willing to carry him 10+ hours the way I do. There are multiple kids they have to watch; there's just no way. I am his mother and I get frustrated many many times. I have cried countless times. Imagine a daycare worker who also has to take care of multiple other kids too. He's older now and is a lot easier than before, but the first 6 months was a blur for me.

That's why I'm suspicious when I hear that people claim that babies don't cry at all in a daycare. That someone rocks them all the time. Some babies are easy, that's for sure, they're laughing all the time, having fun like my oldest. But ALL babies? No, I don't believe that. At least be realistic. Your baby may not be a difficult kid, but there might be another one who screams all day for all sorts of reasons. I'm sure infants are rocked or held, but do they hold 1 baby all day long 10+ hours a day, while they have other kids to tend to?

My older kid probably would have been okay if he had to go to daycare, but definitely not my younger one. OP, you should really think about multiple options if at all possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an issue, I recommend hiring a nanny. But that requires a lot of money and is out of reach for a lot of people including myself, so I chose to quit my job.

It also depends on the infant. My older child is a super easy baby overall. He would sit in a rocker the entire day until he could pull up and walk. I would take him out for food and to nap, but he was just very content being in one spot when he was an infant. Never needed anyone to rock him to sleep, or hold him. I never felt tired with him.

My youngest child is very difficult in comparison. He has reflux which apparently is common in babies. Made him scream all day long until I was figured it out and switched his formula. He needs to be held all day long; if he sits in one spot for more than 5 minutes, he would scream. Feeding and burping took forever because of reflux. A complete opposite of my older child. I was exhausted carrying him around and then rocking him to sleep for every single nap. His naps are also terrible so I barely get any rest before getting up and doing it all over again. I can't imagine sending him to daycare because there is no way anyone would be willing to carry him 10+ hours the way I do. There are multiple kids they have to watch; there's just no way. I am his mother and I get frustrated many many times. I have cried countless times. Imagine a daycare worker who also has to take care of multiple other kids too. He's older now and is a lot easier than before, but the first 6 months was a blur for me.

That's why I'm suspicious when I hear that people claim that babies don't cry at all in a daycare. That someone rocks them all the time. Some babies are easy, that's for sure, they're laughing all the time, having fun like my oldest. But ALL babies? No, I don't believe that. At least be realistic. Your baby may not be a difficult kid, but there might be another one who screams all day for all sorts of reasons. I'm sure infants are rocked or held, but do they hold 1 baby all day long 10+ hours a day, while they have other kids to tend to?

My older kid probably would have been okay if he had to go to daycare, but definitely not my younger one. OP, you should really think about multiple options if at all possible.

Babies who scream all day long are not common. Not unheard of, but the vast majority of babies don’t scream all day long and can’t be left alone. Stop trying to scare poor OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an issue, I recommend hiring a nanny. But that requires a lot of money and is out of reach for a lot of people including myself, so I chose to quit my job.

It also depends on the infant. My older child is a super easy baby overall. He would sit in a rocker the entire day until he could pull up and walk. I would take him out for food and to nap, but he was just very content being in one spot when he was an infant. Never needed anyone to rock him to sleep, or hold him. I never felt tired with him.

My youngest child is very difficult in comparison. He has reflux which apparently is common in babies. Made him scream all day long until I was figured it out and switched his formula. He needs to be held all day long; if he sits in one spot for more than 5 minutes, he would scream. Feeding and burping took forever because of reflux. A complete opposite of my older child. I was exhausted carrying him around and then rocking him to sleep for every single nap. His naps are also terrible so I barely get any rest before getting up and doing it all over again. I can't imagine sending him to daycare because there is no way anyone would be willing to carry him 10+ hours the way I do. There are multiple kids they have to watch; there's just no way. I am his mother and I get frustrated many many times. I have cried countless times. Imagine a daycare worker who also has to take care of multiple other kids too. He's older now and is a lot easier than before, but the first 6 months was a blur for me.

That's why I'm suspicious when I hear that people claim that babies don't cry at all in a daycare. That someone rocks them all the time. Some babies are easy, that's for sure, they're laughing all the time, having fun like my oldest. But ALL babies? No, I don't believe that. At least be realistic. Your baby may not be a difficult kid, but there might be another one who screams all day for all sorts of reasons. I'm sure infants are rocked or held, but do they hold 1 baby all day long 10+ hours a day, while they have other kids to tend to?

My older kid probably would have been okay if he had to go to daycare, but definitely not my younger one. OP, you should really think about multiple options if at all possible.

This is really not relevant to OP. She's not asking if she should quit her job. She is asking for the timing of daycare wait lists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an issue, I recommend hiring a nanny. But that requires a lot of money and is out of reach for a lot of people including myself, so I chose to quit my job.

It also depends on the infant. My older child is a super easy baby overall. He would sit in a rocker the entire day until he could pull up and walk. I would take him out for food and to nap, but he was just very content being in one spot when he was an infant. Never needed anyone to rock him to sleep, or hold him. I never felt tired with him.

My youngest child is very difficult in comparison. He has reflux which apparently is common in babies. Made him scream all day long until I was figured it out and switched his formula. He needs to be held all day long; if he sits in one spot for more than 5 minutes, he would scream. Feeding and burping took forever because of reflux. A complete opposite of my older child. I was exhausted carrying him around and then rocking him to sleep for every single nap. His naps are also terrible so I barely get any rest before getting up and doing it all over again. I can't imagine sending him to daycare because there is no way anyone would be willing to carry him 10+ hours the way I do. There are multiple kids they have to watch; there's just no way. I am his mother and I get frustrated many many times. I have cried countless times. Imagine a daycare worker who also has to take care of multiple other kids too. He's older now and is a lot easier than before, but the first 6 months was a blur for me.

That's why I'm suspicious when I hear that people claim that babies don't cry at all in a daycare. That someone rocks them all the time. Some babies are easy, that's for sure, they're laughing all the time, having fun like my oldest. But ALL babies? No, I don't believe that. At least be realistic. Your baby may not be a difficult kid, but there might be another one who screams all day for all sorts of reasons. I'm sure infants are rocked or held, but do they hold 1 baby all day long 10+ hours a day, while they have other kids to tend to?

My older kid probably would have been okay if he had to go to daycare, but definitely not my younger one. OP, you should really think about multiple options if at all possible.

Babies who scream all day long are not common. Not unheard of, but the vast majority of babies don’t scream all day long and can’t be left alone. Stop trying to scare poor OP.

I spoke from my own experience. If all you want rainbows and sunshine then feel free to move on and read other posts that paints a rosier picture. It's easy to be dismissive when you got easy babies. And reflux isn't even anywhere near as bad as colic. OP, if you're scared by my experience, don't ever research "colic" or read anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If money is not an issue, I recommend hiring a nanny. But that requires a lot of money and is out of reach for a lot of people including myself, so I chose to quit my job.

It also depends on the infant. My older child is a super easy baby overall. He would sit in a rocker the entire day until he could pull up and walk. I would take him out for food and to nap, but he was just very content being in one spot when he was an infant. Never needed anyone to rock him to sleep, or hold him. I never felt tired with him.

My youngest child is very difficult in comparison. He has reflux which apparently is common in babies. Made him scream all day long until I was figured it out and switched his formula. He needs to be held all day long; if he sits in one spot for more than 5 minutes, he would scream. Feeding and burping took forever because of reflux. A complete opposite of my older child. I was exhausted carrying him around and then rocking him to sleep for every single nap. His naps are also terrible so I barely get any rest before getting up and doing it all over again. I can't imagine sending him to daycare because there is no way anyone would be willing to carry him 10+ hours the way I do. There are multiple kids they have to watch; there's just no way. I am his mother and I get frustrated many many times. I have cried countless times. Imagine a daycare worker who also has to take care of multiple other kids too. He's older now and is a lot easier than before, but the first 6 months was a blur for me.

That's why I'm suspicious when I hear that people claim that babies don't cry at all in a daycare. That someone rocks them all the time. Some babies are easy, that's for sure, they're laughing all the time, having fun like my oldest. But ALL babies? No, I don't believe that. At least be realistic. Your baby may not be a difficult kid, but there might be another one who screams all day for all sorts of reasons. I'm sure infants are rocked or held, but do they hold 1 baby all day long 10+ hours a day, while they have other kids to tend to?

My older kid probably would have been okay if he had to go to daycare, but definitely not my younger one. OP, you should really think about multiple options if at all possible.

This is really not relevant to OP. She's not asking if she should quit her job. She is asking for the timing of daycare wait lists.

Her opening post talks about "childcare" options. Even the title has that word "childcare." Is daycare the only childcare option that can be discussed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ya’ll be tripping. Your infant “thrived” in daycare? You mean got sick every couple weeks, cried when you left him/her, napped horribly, clung to you when you tried to leave, had a revolving door of staff (since the turnover rate of day care staff is 25 percent every year), spent way too much time in seated swings/chairs/bouncers, and got RSV, roseola, hand foot and mouth, and a bunch of other diseases you never heard of. Ok. I am going to keep saying it because I wish I had known, daycare for infants is awful. It’s just awful. You can lie to yourself to sleep at night but if you’re being honest with yourself you know your child would have rather been at home with you. Let’s not kid ourselves here, please.

My kid had literally none of that happen. The daycare didn’t allow bouncers, he got sick literally once, and had the same caregivers the whole time.
Stop mom shaming. A nanny is a huge expense the majority of people simply can’t afford.

She got sick literally once? Lol. My BS detector is going off right now. You’re clearly one of those selfish parents who pretends your kids cold/roseola/hand food and mouth/bronchiolitis is “just a little runny nose” and you dose them with Advil and send them to daycare to get the rest of the class sick. No effing way was your kid sick once, not a chance in hell is that true.

Your BS detector should be shrieking at yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ya’ll be tripping. Your infant “thrived” in daycare? You mean got sick every couple weeks, cried when you left him/her, napped horribly, clung to you when you tried to leave, had a revolving door of staff (since the turnover rate of day care staff is 25 percent every year), spent way too much time in seated swings/chairs/bouncers, and got RSV, roseola, hand foot and mouth, and a bunch of other diseases you never heard of. Ok. I am going to keep saying it because I wish I had known, daycare for infants is awful. It’s just awful. You can lie to yourself to sleep at night but if you’re being honest with yourself you know your child would have rather been at home with you. Let’s not kid ourselves here, please.

You sound unbalanced.