Daycare/Childcare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but make sure you really want day care, a nanny share is about the same and has many benefits over daycare.

Opinions vary. I really preferred a daycare center.

For your infant? Really? I did daycare for my first to start and it was awful. So many illnesses. We quickly switched to a home day care that only had 6 kids. It was so much better but the baby was literally sick every 1-3 weeks. With our second we did a nanny from the get go and it is so much better. Wish I had never put my first in daycare to be honest. So institutional. So impersonal. So unclean. I can still smell the stinky diapers, see the sad baby faces stuck in swings and chairs while the overwhelmed caregivers gave out bottles and diapered kids like overwhelmed robots (this was a 1:3 ratio, mind) and attempted to log everything in a stupid app. I can still hear the crying, and those hacking coughs. This was a top rated center (we toured many) but the reality is just awful. I felt like the worst parent in the world leaving my kid there with all those sad, crying babies. Most daycare parents won’t admit this but it’s true. Infant daycare is almost categorically horrible. I’ll say it. Everyone will argue because they don’t want to believe it but it’s true. Infants need primary attachments to a loving caregiver in a safe and calm environment, and you just don’t get that in an institutional
Setting like daycare. They don’t need the socialization until they are older.

Summary: this poster had a bad daycare experience and now feels comfortable generalizing that to the conclusion that all infant daycare is bad.

And rationalizes that this is true by assuming that daycare parents know their kids are in a horrible environment but don’t change anything because … they don’t want to admit it for some reason? They’d rather pay thousands per month for bad care?

Sounds about right!

All of my experiences were also at an NAEYC accredited center. My background is in early childhood education. Everyone in this field who can afford a nanny, uses one. And they don’t send their kids to daycare centers, they have nannies and then send them to preschool when they are 3-4 years old. No newborn wants to be in a room with 8-12 other infants and 3 adults. Babies this age don’t need lesson plans or activities. Only the US expects new parents to put brand new babies in this situation. The rest of the developed world lets babies stay home with a parent for a year or more. Daycare exists because capitalism demands it, not because it’s good for infants.

You sound like the classic example of a person trying to rationalize and justify why you made your own decisions by making huge generalizations for other people. It’s ok to just make the right choice for your family and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but make sure you really want day care, a nanny share is about the same and has many benefits over daycare.

No it’s still more expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but make sure you really want day care, a nanny share is about the same and has many benefits over daycare.

Opinions vary. I really preferred a daycare center.

For your infant? Really? I did daycare for my first to start and it was awful. So many illnesses. We quickly switched to a home day care that only had 6 kids. It was so much better but the baby was literally sick every 1-3 weeks. With our second we did a nanny from the get go and it is so much better. Wish I had never put my first in daycare to be honest. So institutional. So impersonal. So unclean. I can still smell the stinky diapers, see the sad baby faces stuck in swings and chairs while the overwhelmed caregivers gave out bottles and diapered kids like overwhelmed robots (this was a 1:3 ratio, mind) and attempted to log everything in a stupid app. I can still hear the crying, and those hacking coughs. This was a top rated center (we toured many) but the reality is just awful. I felt like the worst parent in the world leaving my kid there with all those sad, crying babies. Most daycare parents won’t admit this but it’s true. Infant daycare is almost categorically horrible. I’ll say it. Everyone will argue because they don’t want to believe it but it’s true. Infants need primary attachments to a loving caregiver in a safe and calm environment, and you just don’t get that in an institutional
Setting like daycare. They don’t need the socialization until they are older.

Sorry you had a bad daycare experience. My DS is in a loving in-home daycare that is spotless and the kids are thriving and happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but make sure you really want day care, a nanny share is about the same and has many benefits over daycare.

Opinions vary. I really preferred a daycare center.

For your infant? Really? I did daycare for my first to start and it was awful. So many illnesses. We quickly switched to a home day care that only had 6 kids. It was so much better but the baby was literally sick every 1-3 weeks. With our second we did a nanny from the get go and it is so much better. Wish I had never put my first in daycare to be honest. So institutional. So impersonal. So unclean. I can still smell the stinky diapers, see the sad baby faces stuck in swings and chairs while the overwhelmed caregivers gave out bottles and diapered kids like overwhelmed robots (this was a 1:3 ratio, mind) and attempted to log everything in a stupid app. I can still hear the crying, and those hacking coughs. This was a top rated center (we toured many) but the reality is just awful. I felt like the worst parent in the world leaving my kid there with all those sad, crying babies. Most daycare parents won’t admit this but it’s true. Infant daycare is almost categorically horrible. I’ll say it. Everyone will argue because they don’t want to believe it but it’s true. Infants need primary attachments to a loving caregiver in a safe and calm environment, and you just don’t get that in an institutional
Setting like daycare. They don’t need the socialization until they are older.

Summary: this poster had a bad daycare experience and now feels comfortable generalizing that to the conclusion that all infant daycare is bad.

And rationalizes that this is true by assuming that daycare parents know their kids are in a horrible environment but don’t change anything because … they don’t want to admit it for some reason? They’d rather pay thousands per month for bad care?

Sounds about right!

All of my experiences were also at an NAEYC accredited center. My background is in early childhood education. Everyone in this field who can afford a nanny, uses one. And they don’t send their kids to daycare centers, they have nannies and then send them to preschool when they are 3-4 years old. No newborn wants to be in a room with 8-12 other infants and 3 adults. Babies this age don’t need lesson plans or activities. Only the US expects new parents to put brand new babies in this situation. The rest of the developed world lets babies stay home with a parent for a year or more. Daycare exists because capitalism demands it, not because it’s good for infants.

+1. Also I wouldn’t do a nanny share. I would just get a dedicated nanny and try to make it so that one parent is around/WFH in the morning hours and the other is around during the afternoon hours. That’s what DH and I did (well before Covid) and we liked it because it made the nanny more accountable. We weren’t intrusive and she was happy.

Nope, not privileged at all!

[Anonymous]

My son's daycare was in building so I got to pop down to nurse and skip pumping which was great. I was in a lot so I saw them interact with him and the other babies and it was always great. If you can get a daycare close enough to do this, I recommend it.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of which route you choose you should get on lists and choose a daycare now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but make sure you really want day care, a nanny share is about the same and has many benefits over daycare.

Opinions vary. I really preferred a daycare center.

For your infant? Really? I did daycare for my first to start and it was awful. So many illnesses. We quickly switched to a home day care that only had 6 kids. It was so much better but the baby was literally sick every 1-3 weeks. With our second we did a nanny from the get go and it is so much better. Wish I had never put my first in daycare to be honest. So institutional. So impersonal. So unclean. I can still smell the stinky diapers, see the sad baby faces stuck in swings and chairs while the overwhelmed caregivers gave out bottles and diapered kids like overwhelmed robots (this was a 1:3 ratio, mind) and attempted to log everything in a stupid app. I can still hear the crying, and those hacking coughs. This was a top rated center (we toured many) but the reality is just awful. I felt like the worst parent in the world leaving my kid there with all those sad, crying babies. Most daycare parents won’t admit this but it’s true. Infant daycare is almost categorically horrible. I’ll say it. Everyone will argue because they don’t want to believe it but it’s true. Infants need primary attachments to a loving caregiver in a safe and calm environment, and you just don’t get that in an institutional
Setting like daycare. They don’t need the socialization until they are older.

Summary: this poster had a bad daycare experience and now feels comfortable generalizing that to the conclusion that all infant daycare is bad.

And rationalizes that this is true by assuming that daycare parents know their kids are in a horrible environment but don’t change anything because … they don’t want to admit it for some reason? They’d rather pay thousands per month for bad care?

Sounds about right!

All of my experiences were also at an NAEYC accredited center. My background is in early childhood education. Everyone in this field who can afford a nanny, uses one. And they don’t send their kids to daycare centers, they have nannies and then send them to preschool when they are 3-4 years old. No newborn wants to be in a room with 8-12 other infants and 3 adults. Babies this age don’t need lesson plans or activities. Only the US expects new parents to put brand new babies in this situation. The rest of the developed world lets babies stay home with a parent for a year or more. Daycare exists because capitalism demands it, not because it’s good for infants.

+1. Also I wouldn’t do a nanny share. I would just get a dedicated nanny and try to make it so that one parent is around/WFH in the morning hours and the other is around during the afternoon hours. That’s what DH and I did (well before Covid) and we liked it because it made the nanny more accountable. We weren’t intrusive and she was happy.

Nope, not privileged at all!

Yep sounds like the perfect solution for the .05 percent of families that have both the budget and job flexibility to afford this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but make sure you really want day care, a nanny share is about the same and has many benefits over daycare.

Opinions vary. I really preferred a daycare center.

For your infant? Really? I did daycare for my first to start and it was awful. So many illnesses. We quickly switched to a home day care that only had 6 kids. It was so much better but the baby was literally sick every 1-3 weeks. With our second we did a nanny from the get go and it is so much better. Wish I had never put my first in daycare to be honest. So institutional. So impersonal. So unclean. I can still smell the stinky diapers, see the sad baby faces stuck in swings and chairs while the overwhelmed caregivers gave out bottles and diapered kids like overwhelmed robots (this was a 1:3 ratio, mind) and attempted to log everything in a stupid app. I can still hear the crying, and those hacking coughs. This was a top rated center (we toured many) but the reality is just awful. I felt like the worst parent in the world leaving my kid there with all those sad, crying babies. Most daycare parents won’t admit this but it’s true. Infant daycare is almost categorically horrible. I’ll say it. Everyone will argue because they don’t want to believe it but it’s true. Infants need primary attachments to a loving caregiver in a safe and calm environment, and you just don’t get that in an institutional
Setting like daycare. They don’t need the socialization until they are older.

You should get a job in fiction writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just went through the nanny share vs daycare decision and so happy with daycare. With the nanny share first the other family Dropped out and then the nanny stopped responding. Daycare for the hours is cheaper and I’m in an expensive daycare. 3:8 staff baby ratio. I go everyday to nurse and seems like a really good environment. They follow Emmi Pickler natural motor development so there are no swings or other baby containers except cribs for nap time. Environment is so much more baby friendly than my tiny apartment. And they have stuff like a picker triangle, a pull up bar etc. I can’t afford a nanny but am happy not to deal with the hassle of the nanny share. Teachers call out sick and I still have care unlike with nannies. I did like the idea of having my kid in the other room while I WFH but just didn’t have the bandwidth to find another family, find another nanny and transform my tiny space into something good for 2 babies.

Where on earth is a center following Pikler in the DMV? That’s a unicorn.

There are some inhomes here that do not use swings/saucers/chairs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but make sure you really want day care, a nanny share is about the same and has many benefits over daycare.

Opinions vary. I really preferred a daycare center.

For your infant? Really? I did daycare for my first to start and it was awful. So many illnesses. We quickly switched to a home day care that only had 6 kids. It was so much better but the baby was literally sick every 1-3 weeks. With our second we did a nanny from the get go and it is so much better. Wish I had never put my first in daycare to be honest. So institutional. So impersonal. So unclean. I can still smell the stinky diapers, see the sad baby faces stuck in swings and chairs while the overwhelmed caregivers gave out bottles and diapered kids like overwhelmed robots (this was a 1:3 ratio, mind) and attempted to log everything in a stupid app. I can still hear the crying, and those hacking coughs. This was a top rated center (we toured many) but the reality is just awful. I felt like the worst parent in the world leaving my kid there with all those sad, crying babies. Most daycare parents won’t admit this but it’s true. Infant daycare is almost categorically horrible. I’ll say it. Everyone will argue because they don’t want to believe it but it’s true. Infants need primary attachments to a loving caregiver in a safe and calm environment, and you just don’t get that in an institutional
Setting like daycare. They don’t need the socialization until they are older.

Summary: this poster had a bad daycare experience and now feels comfortable generalizing that to the conclusion that all infant daycare is bad.

And rationalizes that this is true by assuming that daycare parents know their kids are in a horrible environment but don’t change anything because … they don’t want to admit it for some reason? They’d rather pay thousands per month for bad care?

Sounds about right!

All of my experiences were also at an NAEYC accredited center. My background is in early childhood education. Everyone in this field who can afford a nanny, uses one. And they don’t send their kids to daycare centers, they have nannies and then send them to preschool when they are 3-4 years old. No newborn wants to be in a room with 8-12 other infants and 3 adults. Babies this age don’t need lesson plans or activities. Only the US expects new parents to put brand new babies in this situation. The rest of the developed world lets babies stay home with a parent for a year or more. Daycare exists because capitalism demands it, not because it’s good for infants.

+1. Also I wouldn’t do a nanny share. I would just get a dedicated nanny and try to make it so that one parent is around/WFH in the morning hours and the other is around during the afternoon hours. That’s what DH and I did (well before Covid) and we liked it because it made the nanny more accountable. We weren’t intrusive and she was happy.

Nope, not privileged at all!

Yep sounds like the perfect solution for the .05 percent of families that have both the budget and job flexibility to afford this.

I wouldn't even do this if i could afford it!!

[Anonymous]

Best place to inquire is local parenting groups/listserv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son's daycare was in building so I got to pop down to nurse and skip pumping which was great. I was in a lot so I saw them interact with him and the other babies and it was always great. If you can get a daycare close enough to do this, I recommend it.

Many daycares aren’t allowing this now because of COVID. I WFH before COvID and did this with my older child but it’s not allowed for my baby due to COVID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's daycare was in building so I got to pop down to nurse and skip pumping which was great. I was in a lot so I saw them interact with him and the other babies and it was always great. If you can get a daycare close enough to do this, I recommend it.

Many daycares aren’t allowing this now because of COVID. I WFH before COvID and did this with my older child but it’s not allowed for my baby due to COVID.

All daycares must allow a mother to breast-feed if that is what she chooses. Even during Covid they couldn’t deny this. Your daycare was breaking the law by not allowing you to breast-feed. I’m sure they had great intentions, but it was still illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but make sure you really want day care, a nanny share is about the same and has many benefits over daycare.

Opinions vary. I really preferred a daycare center.

For your infant? Really? I did daycare for my first to start and it was awful. So many illnesses. We quickly switched to a home day care that only had 6 kids. It was so much better but the baby was literally sick every 1-3 weeks. With our second we did a nanny from the get go and it is so much better. Wish I had never put my first in daycare to be honest. So institutional. So impersonal. So unclean. I can still smell the stinky diapers, see the sad baby faces stuck in swings and chairs while the overwhelmed caregivers gave out bottles and diapered kids like overwhelmed robots (this was a 1:3 ratio, mind) and attempted to log everything in a stupid app. I can still hear the crying, and those hacking coughs. This was a top rated center (we toured many) but the reality is just awful. I felt like the worst parent in the world leaving my kid there with all those sad, crying babies. Most daycare parents won’t admit this but it’s true. Infant daycare is almost categorically horrible. I’ll say it. Everyone will argue because they don’t want to believe it but it’s true. Infants need primary attachments to a loving caregiver in a safe and calm environment, and you just don’t get that in an institutional
Setting like daycare. They don’t need the socialization until they are older.

I have worked in early childhood education for over a decade, am a former teacher, and have observed in over 50 day cares across the country but sure, I’m writing fiction.

You should get a job in fiction writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son's daycare was in building so I got to pop down to nurse and skip pumping which was great. I was in a lot so I saw them interact with him and the other babies and it was always great. If you can get a daycare close enough to do this, I recommend it.

Many daycares aren’t allowing this now because of COVID. I WFH before COvID and did this with my older child but it’s not allowed for my baby due to COVID.

All daycares must allow a mother to breast-feed if that is what she chooses. Even during Covid they couldn’t deny this. Your daycare was breaking the law by not allowing you to breast-feed. I’m sure they had great intentions, but it was still illegal.

Not true. My DD’s daycare has not allowed parents into the building since June 2020 (when they reopened)