DS not interested in befriending UMC/UC peers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had three full ride scholarships offered for high school boarding schools. One was a Catholic girls school, one was an elite East coast school, one was a Midwest school. I liked the feel of the catholic school, but it was tiny and wouldn't have been academically challenging. The East coast school had very few families on scholarships, and when I talked to the student who was giving the tour about scholarships and financial aid, she cut the tour short and was very brusque. The Midwest school had over half the students on at least partial scholarship, and when I talked to the students who took us on a tour about financial aid, they became even more friendly, and they took me around to a variety of kids who were doing their "scholarship hour," the hour that any kid on scholarship does to give back to the school, regardless of the amount they receive. Where one set of students looked down on others who couldn't pay full price, the other had enough that received some help that very few cared.

I know this was supposed to be a heartwarming story but I think it’s pretty awful that they segregated out the high school aged scholarship students from the full paying ones to do service work.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm. Have you ever thought that the nice UC/ UMC kids did not want to befriend your LC/MC kid? Maybe they excluded him and they did not allow him to be in their circle so he chose the only ones available, which was children like him. This is probably the answer you don't like but is correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are hardworking people and when my husband made some money, I just wanted my children to have better than we did. We sent him to private since middle school and did not have too much left over for international trips or others. I enrolled him in cotillion and made sure he had private gold lessons since he was a little kid.

My older daughter was sent to public school but is now married to a rich man from a wealthy family. She now lives in Bethesda and is friends with people I'd like my son to associate with. I don't know why he has such little self esteem.

For those of us who didn’t grow up rich…what are gold lessons??

Clearly my group gold lessons were insufficient—mom and dad should have sprung for private!

I grew up UMC and have no idea what gold lessons are. I guess my parents were not proper UMC parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are hardworking people and when my husband made some money, I just wanted my children to have better than we did. We sent him to private since middle school and did not have too much left over for international trips or others. I enrolled him in cotillion and made sure he had private gold lessons since he was a little kid.

My older daughter was sent to public school but is now married to a rich man from a wealthy family. She now lives in Bethesda and is friends with people I'd like my son to associate with. I don't know why he has such little self esteem.

For those of us who didn’t grow up rich…what are gold lessons??

Clearly my group gold lessons were insufficient—mom and dad should have sprung for private!

I grew up UMC and have no idea what gold lessons are. I guess my parents were not proper UMC parents!

I’m guessing she meant golf lessons.

We have a seven figure income and UMC. My kids have plenty of friends who are UC and MC. We don’t know many LC people but I’m not sure my kids would notice or care. The rich families we know have kids who play with our kids just fine. My kids are ages 4-12. All 3 of my kids have some super rich friends.

Op’s child not being included may have nothing to do with money. We know plenty of unpopular rich kids. DS was friends with one kid who are private jet type people. While his 2 siblings were outgoing and popular, one of the kids was really quiet. He was not athletic and had interests that weren’t the norm. I don’t think he was bullied or anything but not really accepted either.

[Anonymous]

Annoying troll.

[Anonymous]

What is umc/uc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are hardworking people and when my husband made some money, I just wanted my children to have better than we did. We sent him to private since middle school and did not have too much left over for international trips or others. I enrolled him in cotillion and made sure he had private gold lessons since he was a little kid.

My older daughter was sent to public school but is now married to a rich man from a wealthy family. She now lives in Bethesda and is friends with people I'd like my son to associate with. I don't know why he has such little self esteem.

For those of us who didn’t grow up rich…what are gold lessons??

Clearly my group gold lessons were insufficient—mom and dad should have sprung for private!

I grew up UMC and have no idea what gold lessons are. I guess my parents were not proper UMC parents!

I’m guessing she meant golf lessons.

We have a seven figure income and UMC. My kids have plenty of friends who are UC and MC. We don’t know many LC people but I’m not sure my kids would notice or care. The rich families we know have kids who play with our kids just fine. My kids are ages 4-12. All 3 of my kids have some super rich friends.

Op’s child not being included may have nothing to do with money. We know plenty of unpopular rich kids. DS was friends with one kid who are private jet type people. While his 2 siblings were outgoing and popular, one of the kids was really quiet. He was not athletic and had interests that weren’t the norm. I don’t think he was bullied or anything but not really accepted either.

4-12? yeah, at that age they don't notice as much as that they're friends are all vacationing in Aspen and Tahiti, while you get a week at Ocean City. Its not like the kids are going on ski trips, and realizing the MC kids have never skiied before and the UMC did Double Black Diamonds at Steamboat when they were 10.

You are way too early to really having people notice, but on the cusp.

And that jet setting kid withdrawn kid likely still got included in things because of his family; where a MC withdrawn kid would be shunned and bullied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is umc/uc?

Upper Middle Class/Upper Class

[Anonymous]

If your kid only befriends the misfit losers it is because he too is a misfit loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are hardworking people and when my husband made some money, I just wanted my children to have better than we did. We sent him to private since middle school and did not have too much left over for international trips or others. I enrolled him in cotillion and made sure he had private gold lessons since he was a little kid.

My older daughter was sent to public school but is now married to a rich man from a wealthy family. She now lives in Bethesda and is friends with people I'd like my son to associate with. I don't know why he has such little self esteem.

For those of us who didn’t grow up rich…what are gold lessons??

Clearly my group gold lessons were insufficient—mom and dad should have sprung for private!

I grew up UMC and have no idea what gold lessons are. I guess my parents were not proper UMC parents!

I’m guessing she meant golf lessons.

We have a seven figure income and UMC. My kids have plenty of friends who are UC and MC. We don’t know many LC people but I’m not sure my kids would notice or care. The rich families we know have kids who play with our kids just fine. My kids are ages 4-12. All 3 of my kids have some super rich friends.

Op’s child not being included may have nothing to do with money. We know plenty of unpopular rich kids. DS was friends with one kid who are private jet type people. While his 2 siblings were outgoing and popular, one of the kids was really quiet. He was not athletic and had interests that weren’t the norm. I don’t think he was bullied or anything but not really accepted either.

4-12? yeah, at that age they don't notice as much as that they're friends are all vacationing in Aspen and Tahiti, while you get a week at Ocean City. Its not like the kids are going on ski trips, and realizing the MC kids have never skiied before and the UMC did Double Black Diamonds at Steamboat when they were 10.

You are way too early to really having people notice, but on the cusp.

And that jet setting kid withdrawn kid likely still got included in things because of his family; where a MC withdrawn kid would be shunned and bullied.

Pp here. When I was a kid, I never went on vacation. Now we vacation the most probably. My kids can ski black and have an excellent golf swing. Really don’t think this matters at all to his friends.

In high school and college, friendships are formed. An attractive, smart, athletic nice kid who is a genuine person can befriend rich friends and maybe some poor friends who will one day be the richest. DH is the most successful in his college friend group and he was the poorest in college.

When I was in college, I had friends who would fly for random weekends. They would fly to Europe to ski for the weekend or fly to Brazil to watch a soccer game. I was invited to some trips with them and I went. I liked to party and could keep up. When I started working, I also would go on a lot of weekend trips. We go on around 10 trips per year, which seems normal to me but I know many would think is a lot. My children would not blink at people flying to ski for a random weekend in college and would join. It is not that big of a deal.