Reply to DS not interested in befriending UMC/UC peers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. We are hardworking people and when my husband made some money, I just wanted my children to have better than we did. We sent him to private since middle school and did not have too much left over for international trips or others. I enrolled him in cotillion and made sure he had private gold lessons since he was a little kid.

My older daughter was sent to public school but is now married to a rich man from a wealthy family. She now lives in Bethesda and is friends with people I'd like my son to associate with. I don't know why he has such little self esteem. [/quote]

For those of us who didn’t grow up rich…what are gold lessons??[/quote]

Clearly my group gold lessons were insufficient—mom and dad should have sprung for private![/quote]

I grew up UMC and have no idea what gold lessons are. I guess my parents were not proper UMC parents! [/quote]

I’m guessing she meant golf lessons.

We have a seven figure income and UMC. My kids have plenty of friends who are UC and MC. We don’t know many LC people but I’m not sure my kids would notice or care. The rich families we know have kids who play with our kids just fine. My kids are ages 4-12. All 3 of my kids have some super rich friends.

Op’s child not being included may have nothing to do with money. We know plenty of unpopular rich kids. DS was friends with one kid who are private jet type people. While his 2 siblings were outgoing and popular, one of the kids was really quiet. He was not athletic and had interests that weren’t the norm. I don’t think he was bullied or anything but not really accepted either.[/quote]

4-12?  yeah, at that age they don't notice as much as that they're friends are all vacationing in Aspen and Tahiti, while you get a week at Ocean City.  Its not like the kids are going on ski trips, and realizing the MC kids have never skiied before and the UMC did Double Black Diamonds at Steamboat  when they were 10.

You are way too early to really having people notice, but on the cusp.

And that jet setting kid withdrawn kid likely still got included in things because of his family; where a MC withdrawn kid would be shunned and bullied.[/quote]

Pp here. When I was a kid, I never went on vacation. Now we vacation the most probably. My kids can ski black and have an excellent golf swing. Really don’t think this matters at all to his friends.

In high school and college, friendships are formed. An attractive, smart, athletic nice kid who is a genuine person can befriend rich friends and maybe some poor friends who will one day be the richest. DH is the most successful in his college friend group and he was the poorest in college.

When I was in college, I had friends who would fly for random weekends. They would fly to Europe to ski for the weekend or fly to Brazil to watch a soccer game. I was invited to some trips with them and I went. I liked to party and could keep up. When I started working, I also would go on a lot of weekend trips. We go on around 10 trips per year, which seems normal to me but I know many would think is a lot. My children would not blink at people flying to ski for a random weekend in college and would join. It is not that big of a deal.[/quote]

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