I am becoming suspicious of my boyfriend

[Anonymous]

He and I have been dating for 3 months. It's safe to say we are still in the " honeymoon" phase. It's been going well but I have this weird feeling. Recently he has been telling me hings about his friends.

A few examples

1. My friend ( won't give name) has slept with over 120 women and becer told his gf. What would you do if you found out this?

2. I was on pre-planned vacation for a week. One night while talking he tells me " B had a woman in his apt at 2am and I told him " you didn't make a move?". Then asks " when a woman is there at 2am, she expects you to make a move, right?"

3. He tells me stories about his group of friends leaving strippers in their beds to book flights but swears he doesn't do that.

It may be nothing but these have all come out at random times on conversation. I can't help but entertain the idea that its him and he is trying to see my reaction. I find it more shady now given that he texted me " Come over to my place, please?" When I was out of town. He claimed it to be a joke but I don't think it was ever intended for me.

I have no concrete evidence so I am treading lightly. My gut feeling is telling me something isn't right.

[Anonymous]

He sounds a bit immature at best. But, I'm a strong believer in trusting your gut. It's probably not a good idea to start a relationship with these kinds of doubts. Plenty of decent men out there.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand a lot of your post, but he certainly does not talk like a gentleman or even a nice guy. Go with your gut and get out before the relationship gets more serious.

[Anonymous]

Go with your gut and get out now. If nothing else, if you stay, you'll be dealing with these loser friends.

[Anonymous]

Your gut is right. Where there is smoke there is fire. Also, at a minimum he is extremely immature.

[Anonymous]

Your post doesn't make sense, OP. Has your new boyfriend slept with over 120 women? Or a friend of his? If it's him, yes dear, that's a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post doesn't make sense, OP. Has your new boyfriend slept with over 120 women? Or a friend of his? If it's him, yes dear, that's a red flag.

Her boyfriend said "my friend slept with 120 women" but as we all know "friend" can be a way to talk about yourself.

Honestly OP, friends are a reflection of the person. I would trust your gut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post doesn't make sense, OP. Has your new boyfriend slept with over 120 women? Or a friend of his? If it's him, yes dear, that's a red flag.

This the whole point of my post. I only know what he told me about his past. He has recently been saying things his " friends" are doing but I am starting to speculate its him, not his friends. I worry he is only saying things in a friends perspective to see how I would react. How is that confusing?

[Anonymous]

In my 20s, I dated a guy with friends like that. I'm sure he did some of it, too. He didn't see much wrong with it, either. However, the immature and misogynistic atmosphere of that type of crowd gets old fast. That relationship ended quickly. I got really tired, really fast, of hearing stupid stories of bachelor parties and the such where the groom to be had to sing the Star Spangled Banner into the stripper's vagina and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand a lot of your post, but he certainly does not talk like a gentleman or even a nice guy. Go with your gut and get out before the relationship gets more serious.

To clarify. Everything he is saying about his friends, I wonder if its his own personal stories and he is seeing my reaction. Like when a person asks question for a friend. That " friend" is usually them.

If I do trust my gut, what the hell do I even say?

[Anonymous]

Not sure about your boyfriend, but my DH is a lot like his friends. That's why they're friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand a lot of your post, but he certainly does not talk like a gentleman or even a nice guy. Go with your gut and get out before the relationship gets more serious.

To clarify. Everything he is saying about his friends, I wonder if its his own personal stories and he is seeing my reaction. Like when a person asks question for a friend. That " friend" is usually them.

If I do trust my gut, what the hell do I even say?

Just say you don't feel it's working out. You don't have to be specific.

Oh, and I understood your post fine. Had to read it slowly (since it's complicated) but not confusing.

[Anonymous]

The most worrisome part for me if it is him then that means he had a woman in his apartment. We are exclusive and he would be cheating. I'm very worried to say the least.

[Anonymous]

Trust you gut. Those intuition experiences actually pick up other stuff you're not conscious about. Ignoring these red flags now is a bad idea. You will get more invested, and the behaviors will make you more unhappy. Cut it off. Invest in someone who doesn't make you uneasy.

That's what you wanted confirmed, everyone here confirms your not imagining reasons to be really bothered.

So now what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand a lot of your post, but he certainly does not talk like a gentleman or even a nice guy. Go with your gut and get out before the relationship gets more serious.

To clarify. Everything he is saying about his friends, I wonder if its his own personal stories and he is seeing my reaction. Like when a person asks question for a friend. That " friend" is usually them.

If I do trust my gut, what the hell do I even say?

Come on, this isn't that hard. You're not that desperate.

You: "This isn't working out for me. I think we should stop seeing each other."
immature guy: "But why? I don't understand."
You:"This isn't what I want in a relationship. I'm moving on. Please respect my wishes to move on as well."
Then really leave. Or hang up. Just cut it off and move on.