Racial issues in DCPS for mixed race kids

[Anonymous]

I'm looking for perspectives from parents of mixed race kids regarding issues of low expectations and negative peer pressure experienced by AA and Latino kids, often regardless of SES, in public schools. I'm half black/half white and my husband is white so our soon-to-be born kid will be a quarter black. We are house-hunting and our inclination is to buy in DC or Montco and do public schools. But I so empathize with the concerns I've heard from parents of minority children about the public school environment. I have first-hand experience with the problems from my own public school days (in MD, but not Montco) as a biracial kid. Question is -- does anyone think a quarter black kid is at risk for these issues? Kid's not here yet so don't know how brown s/he'll be, but my gut is the kid will feel and be perceived as multi-racial (or kinda like exotic?) than AA. I know I'm trying to crystal ball this one, but I just hope to get a little insight from the masses because if people have had negative experiences with their mixed race kid akin to those with AA/Latino kids then it would affect my house-hunting and push me to private schools.

Because I can't articulate the issues I'm raising nearly as well as others have already on this board, I'm pasting below an explanation from another thread:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are MoCo or FFX schools in wealthy neighborhoods more diverse? Though, I don't buy the argument that some use that they go to private school because it is more "diverse."

my kids go to Murch, our school is more diverse (both by race and SES) than Janney. I know you may not buy that argument, but I heard it first hand from an AA mom whose kid was leaving Murch for Sidwells ( of all privates!). it was prek and there were other AA and non white students in our kids' class. she told me that her kid was leaving Murch and going to Sidwell for K. she told me that it was going to be hard on her family, but that our school did not have enough AA students and that there were more at Sidwell. she also told me (it was about 5 years ago) that, having an AA child, she was concerned about Deal and Wilson and it was important for her that her child be surrounded by successful AA models (teachers and other students). I was really surprised to hear that, but I just writing what she told me . obviously, the only diversity you find at Sidwell and other prominent private schools in DC is the one based on the color of the skin, not the SES type, but apparently for some parents, especially minority parents, it may still be important.

This came up on another thread, but I will explain it here as well, because the poster there said that AA and Latino parents who don't want to send their kids to Wilson are just as bad as white parents who don't want to expose their kids to low SES FARMS kids.

It is a completely different thing. Black kids who do well where there are a lot of AA low SES kids are constantly accused of acting white, being an oreo, betraying their race, denying their roots, being a traitor. And the AA FARMS kids are sometimes a lot more vicious to people of their own race who are different.

There is not a large Latino population, but we will not send our kids to Wilson for the same reasons. My kids can discover their roots in college, once they have gotten in to a good one. We are only one generation removed, and at least one of my kids might find kids in gangs etc sort of intriguing....

If they are at privates they may be asked to offer the "Hispanic" point of view on something (which is entirely stupid, because we come from El Salvador, Puerto Rico, Mexico etc), but the worst crowd they could fall into are a bunch of white stoners and drinkers and we will not let that happen because we are different from them.

This concept somehow doesn't appear to have occurred to the white folks here though - that the consequences of going to Wilson for us are a lot more dangerous than it ever could be for them - I do not see a white kid being accepted into MS 13.....

this- Great explanation. White families, either willfully or not, rarely acknowledge/understand SES differences amongst people of color and to be honest it's not for them to understand. Everyone has their own issues so delving into intra-racial SES status amongst the various brown communities may not be top priorities for some. Understood...but as a black mom of middle class (married to a white dad- yet another layer of complexity) with my brown/multiracial children the pressures of the white world are a given. The interactions they have with other children of color from their own SES and outside are a whole other factor and frankly a much more important concern of mine. You want your child to be with social peers and not the lonely only. For brown kids lonely-onlyism can happen in an all black/brown or an all white situation in entirely different ways. The right balance needs to be struck....tightrope walking vexing, even in our post Obama world.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand your concerns. I too (as mixed-race child) dealt with the challenges and frustrations of being an outcast of both white and black groups growing up.

The "low expectations" of the black community you mentioned (kids demeaning other kids if they are "too smart" or "too white") is rampant.

However, I don't think you'll come across this problem (as you'll likely never go to the schools where it's an issue). There are many middle class black and white families/students.

I wish there was a way to change the culture of low expectations among the black community.

As for the white community, I'll leave that for someone else to tackle.

I think every school is different. No issues at my child's school with either race.

[Anonymous]

OP, my son is half AA/half white. He is at a public charter school in DC. From my experience, along with a child in his grade that has a similar background to what you describe, my child is not perceived as AA, which I find surprising. I have two friends that are also married to white men and have biracial children who are not perceived as AA in public (e.g., mothers are asked if they are the nanny). My son's skin is very light and he has straight/curly hair, which I think has a lot to do with how he is perceived. He is second grade so he has had 4 years of experience being in school and interacting with teachers and other students. His teachers and other kids treat him as Hispanic or "other", almost exotic. Teachers and staff comment on his looks almost everyday day, which I am trying to downplay. I repeatedly tell my son that he is half black/half white; however, he doesn't identify as AA because students do not see him that way (there are several AA kids in his class). He tells me that he is Hispanic! What I have a problem with is that he has told me that some of the AA boys in his class get into a lot of trouble, and don't read as well, etc. and I honestly believe that is because of skin color as there are white boys in his class that behave the same way (I have known most of the kids in his class for years). Although I am relieved that my son is not treated this way by teachers, I think it is a serious problem that AA boys are disciplined more harshly and are not expected to achieve as much as other kids in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

I am the parent of biracial children in elementary at a DC charter. No issues regarding race yet, but I can tell you that on their own they have definitely self-identified as biracial and not specifically black or white.

As a biracial parent, you'll be well equipped to help them navigate any issues, I'm sure. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my son is half AA/half white. He is at a public charter school in DC. From my experience, along with a child in his grade that has a similar background to what you describe, my child is not perceived as AA, which I find surprising. I have two friends that are also married to white men and have biracial children who are not perceived as AA in public (e.g., mothers are asked if they are the nanny). My son's skin is very light and he has straight/curly hair, which I think has a lot to do with how he is perceived. He is second grade so he has had 4 years of experience being in school and interacting with teachers and other students. His teachers and other kids treat him as Hispanic or "other", almost exotic. Teachers and staff comment on his looks almost everyday day, which I am trying to downplay. I repeatedly tell my son that he is half black/half white; however, he doesn't identify as AA because students do not see him that way (there are several AA kids in his class). He tells me that he is Hispanic! What I have a problem with is that he has told me that some of the AA boys in his class get into a lot of trouble, and don't read as well, etc. and I honestly believe that is because of skin color as there are white boys in his class that behave the same way (I have known most of the kids in his class for years). Although I am relieved that my son is not treated this way by teachers, I think it is a serious problem that AA boys are disciplined more harshly and are not expected to achieve as much as other kids in the classroom.

Can you share the name of the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I have a problem with is that he has told me that some of the AA boys in his class get into a lot of trouble, and don't read as well, etc. and I honestly believe that is because of skin color as there are white boys in his class that behave the same way (I have known most of the kids in his class for years). Although I am relieved that my son is not treated this way by teachers, I think it is a serious problem that AA boys are disciplined more harshly and are not expected to achieve as much as other kids in the classroom.

I have noticed this problem as well in my child's class. The AA boys (higher and lower SES)are always in trouble: have to miss recess for being too rowdy, etc. I volunteer in the classroom and it is very disturbing. It has been bothering me a lot but since it isn't my child, I don't think it's my place to say anything.

I don't think the teachers realize that they are treating the kids differently.

[Anonymous]

I think your kid will not breated as AA. Sounds like you think this is a good thing? Seems sad to me.

[Anonymous]

As the parent of mixed kids (Latino/White) this is really interesting to me. I don't think my kids have been "rejected" by either community (although there was a kid who said he was smarter because he was whiter) but I would think this would come down to how your kid looks. Mixed kids can look one or the other and/or exotic. We have a couple of them, and the one who is brown identifies with Latinos and the one who is white does not think of being Latino but rather that some families speak Spanish. They are at different schools now, and the youngest was fawned over by mostly minority kids when they came to an event at the primarily minority school, but I wonder what boxes they would check - I always check white and of Hispanic origin, while my husband always checks other in protest of all the categories....Mixed kids are a total crapshoot in terms of the way they look, and my two don't even look related. I think that may be one of the issues we deal with later on. Has anyone dealt with this in a fairly mixed school? Two kids where one is brown and one is white? And I just mean their colors. "Race" is complicated because there are Latinos especially from Puerto Rico who look African American as well as those from Mexico that look completely indigenous (descendants of Aztecs)..........

[Anonymous]

OP, it might be helpful if you specify what schools you're interested in. For example, in DC are you only interested in JKLM schools? Or are you trying to decide between majority white, majority minority, or somewhere in-between, depending on the racial dynamics? If you provide more details on what your looking for, people could probably offer better advice.

I'm also biracial and also had racial dynamics in mind before we bought our first home in DC. We happened to end up buying IB for a great EOTP school (Deal feeder) where there are several multiracial families (black/white, Asian/white, etc.), but we also looked in WOTP and close-in MoCo as well. So more details on what you're looking for might lead to more informed opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your kid will not breated as AA. Sounds like you think this is a good thing? Seems sad to me.

OP here. It's not a matter of me thinking it's "good," but of me trying to figure out what would be the best environment for my child. There's nothing inherently "bad" about AA children or parenting them (of course), but there's a lot of extrinsic crap because of the society we live in and I might make different house-buying and school choices if I were parenting a child likely to be perceived as AA.

Thank you very much to the PPs who shared their experiences.

[Anonymous]

You'll need to wait until age 1 at the earliest to see how brown skinned/curly haired your child will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it might be helpful if you specify what schools you're interested in. For example, in DC are you only interested in JKLM schools? Or are you trying to decide between majority white, majority minority, or somewhere in-between, depending on the racial dynamics? If you provide more details on what your looking for, people could probably offer better advice.

I'm also biracial and also had racial dynamics in mind before we bought our first home in DC. We happened to end up buying IB for a great EOTP school (Deal feeder) where there are several multiracial families (black/white, Asian/white, etc.), but we also looked in WOTP and close-in MoCo as well. So more details on what you're looking for might lead to more informed opinions.

OP again. A lot of the houses that work for us commute-wise are Janney-Deal-Wilson. We've also looked in the Takoma Park, MD neighborhood (don't remember those schools but I think it's at least Takoma Park Middle and then Blair). Also we've looked at a couple places that feed to Bethesda-Chevy Chase but I can't remember the lower schools.

[Anonymous]

That is the way Latinos with large African descendant populations measure it - by the hair if the color is middling....

[Anonymous]

I am biracial (black/white) and have a kid 3/4 black and 1/4 white. No issues at our charter whatsoever. Very diverse community, many interracial marriages and a diverse faculty. However, i have 4 nephews that are 1/4 black and 3/4 white I will say it will be very difficult for them to be seen as black. Range from looking Greek, Spanish or Italian more than 1/4 black. I think the bigger difficulty your kid will face will be being able to identify as part black without looking black.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused by this conversation. It's interesting. Many of my biracial friends and their kids identify as black, which is very different from my kid doesn't look black and he's treated as Latino. If you raise your kid as black, they will believe they are black. It's almost as if you don't want them to identify. All of this 1/4 this and 3/4 that is just dumb. Eventually, someone is going to call you kid a nigger and you better be prepared.