Hi, there is so much wrong with this post. All I ask is that you consider treating people in person the way you treat people online. That way you can actually face consequences for being a complete a-hole |
OP, ignore the jerks on this thread. I'm very sorry for what happened to you. A lot of people are in the same boat.
I'll offer this take though in hopes that it makes you feel better. If you were renting and saving to try to stretch into a $1.2M home, then that doesn't leave a lot of room for emergencies. As a single parent, it might be wiser to go for a smaller home that would cost less to purchase and maintain. Then save that money for savings, activities, and vacations. Your kids would have a much better childhood in a smaller home without financial stress and plenty of money to do fun things. This may be a long shot, but are your kids in private school? Private school can really stoke feelings of financial inadequacy because there are so many extremely wealthy families. It can make families with a 300-400K HHI feel poor, especially after shelling out for private school. IMO it's not worth it to stretch to send your kids to private. Money rules there and it can really take a toll on self esteem. |
I would have complete sympathy for someone trying to save up for a $300k home in this area. But not someone complaining about not having a $1.2 million home when there are people having a hard time saving up for a $300k home. |
we're in the 300k range and it sucks. just lost another bidding war today |
Agree with this, private school can skew your perspective. My kid asks why we only have one house while other kids have 4 or 5! |
She came to vent. People were jerks. Why come back? Do you really not understand that? |
NYC garbage men make way more than that. After 5 years they make 86k. And you can start at 18. So a 24 year old garbage man makes around 86k. None go to college so start young. Most NYC garbage men make 100-150k mid career with OT and last year the top earner make 300k as a garbageman. My uncle did the full 40 as a NYC garbage man 18-58 and retired on a 120k a year pension for life with medical. |
If I posted about suddenly not being able to afford a Mercedes, I would expect the same reaction asking why I couldn’t settle for a Honda when it’s the type of car most middle class people drive. If I then said “because it means I am forever middle class instead of UMC and I’m sad about that,” I would expect some amount of ridicule. And maybe some sympathy from similar UMC wannabes. |
Housing impacts quality of life and outcomes exponentially more than the type of car you have. But yeah in if someone wrote in the cars forum that they'd been saving up for a Mercedes for 20 years and suddenly the price went up 20%, now they can never have it because they are toonclose.to retirement, I would definitely have sympathy. Not sure why anyone wouldn't. I don't only care about people who are less fortunate than me. It's a little weird and creepy to lack the ability to have compassion for anyone unless you literally pity them. |
Btw my FIL drives a Mercedes. He likes it so he can show off to others and get social status from that. It's not my cup of tea, but that man came from poverty in a developing country, works extremely hard for his family, and wanted a Mercedes for a large part of his adult life, so yeah I think it would really suck for him if that dream was pulled out from under him. |
The price of cars DID suddenly increase, and many people posted about it, and the general response was commiseration while also suggesting cheaper cars. There aren’t a lot of options when you can’t afford what you want, this is not rocket science. |
And this thread is a mix of some posters commiserating and others being extremely mean to OP |
Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent. |
This! And you would never compare two sanitation workers who bought a home together to a person who could buy a $1.2 million home by themselves. It is another universe of privilege to afford a $1.2M home by yourself. To compare the two is dumb. |
Your FIL would probably have the sense to not claim to be a victim for not being able to afford a Mercedes though. That’s the difference. How many people white knighting for OP would have the same attitude if OP said she couldn’t afford a Porsche anymore and had to settle for a Lexus. Because that is basically the same thing she’s doing here. |