I was so close and now I’m shut out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

It’s up to OP whether she wants to settle for less or keep renting.

In terms of being helpful, not clear what help OP was looking for except for others to agree that it sucks without offering any advice.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here and I can’t believe th lack of reading comprehension here. Nowhere did I say I want to saddle myself with a 1.7M house or even 1.3M. That’s exactly the point! I can’t do that and won’t do that, but I could have had that’s EXACT SAME HOUSE and all the advantages that come with it, had I bought it at 1.1-1.2 2-3 years ago. That is the point. The exact same thing is suddenly no longer accessible to people who have saved and denied themselves literally their entire adult life to get it, only to see it slip away forever.

OP, just wondering why you weren't able to buy back then? It sounds like this was a really important goal for you. What happened? Did you make offers but lost out to others? Were you waiting for a house in a particular neighborhood/school district and none came open?

does it really matter? OP is where she is now.

To find another reason the bash someone online, since that gives people so much pleasure, of course!

This is what’s really happened here. Those of you whining that you can’t have empathy because most people can’t have that live nowhere near the DMV and have no idea what’s happened in the past three years in real estate here. Yes, some places have gone up that much. And the interest rate doubled.

And where I lived before, only the UMC lived in homes over $400,000 so it’s rich to see so many of you in your $300,000 and $700,000 homes feel insulted and insult her as privileged. What a bunch of self-centered, unaware trolls.

Many people here have posted that they are living in the DMV in houses far cheaper than OP will consider.

She never said she wouldn’t consider cheaper houses. You all are reading into her vent and frustration, assuming the worst of her, taking it personally, and generally being a-holes.

She hasn’t said what her budget is now.

WHY would she want to trust you to help her? WHY bother to engage with so many jerks?

Why bother posting anything then?

She came to vent. People were jerks. Why come back? Do you really not understand that?

If I posted about suddenly not being able to afford a Mercedes, I would expect the same reaction asking why I couldn’t settle for a Honda when it’s the type of car most middle class people drive.

If I then said “because it means I am forever middle class instead of UMC and I’m sad about that,” I would expect some amount of ridicule. And maybe some sympathy from similar UMC wannabes.

Housing impacts quality of life and outcomes exponentially more than the type of car you have. But yeah in if someone wrote in the cars forum that they'd been saving up for a Mercedes for 20 years and suddenly the price went up 20%, now they can never have it because they are toonclose.to retirement, I would definitely have sympathy. Not sure why anyone wouldn't. I don't only care about people who are less fortunate than me. It's a little weird and creepy to lack the ability to have compassion for anyone unless you literally pity them.

The price of cars DID suddenly increase, and many people posted about it, and the general response was commiseration while also suggesting cheaper cars.

There aren’t a lot of options when you can’t afford what you want, this is not rocket science.

And this thread is a mix of some posters commiserating and others being extremely mean to OP

It’s not being mean. It annoyance at having some self awareness and being super appreciative that you can still afford really nice SFHs in really nice school districts by yourself. You know how many single moms are out here struggling to make the rent on 2br garden apartments where their two kids are sharing a room together?!!! A single mom with two kids who makes $100k is still gonna struggle in this real estate market to make a $2,500 rent. She could only dream of being wealthy enough to afford a $1.2M home. Have some perspective!!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here and I can’t believe th lack of reading comprehension here. Nowhere did I say I want to saddle myself with a 1.7M house or even 1.3M. That’s exactly the point! I can’t do that and won’t do that, but I could have had that’s EXACT SAME HOUSE and all the advantages that come with it, had I bought it at 1.1-1.2 2-3 years ago. That is the point. The exact same thing is suddenly no longer accessible to people who have saved and denied themselves literally their entire adult life to get it, only to see it slip away forever.

OP, just wondering why you weren't able to buy back then? It sounds like this was a really important goal for you. What happened? Did you make offers but lost out to others? Were you waiting for a house in a particular neighborhood/school district and none came open?

does it really matter? OP is where she is now.

To find another reason the bash someone online, since that gives people so much pleasure, of course!

This is what’s really happened here. Those of you whining that you can’t have empathy because most people can’t have that live nowhere near the DMV and have no idea what’s happened in the past three years in real estate here. Yes, some places have gone up that much. And the interest rate doubled.

And where I lived before, only the UMC lived in homes over $400,000 so it’s rich to see so many of you in your $300,000 and $700,000 homes feel insulted and insult her as privileged. What a bunch of self-centered, unaware trolls.

Many people here have posted that they are living in the DMV in houses far cheaper than OP will consider.

She never said she wouldn’t consider cheaper houses. You all are reading into her vent and frustration, assuming the worst of her, taking it personally, and generally being a-holes.

She hasn’t said what her budget is now.

WHY would she want to trust you to help her? WHY bother to engage with so many jerks?

Why bother posting anything then?

She came to vent. People were jerks. Why come back? Do you really not understand that?

If I posted about suddenly not being able to afford a Mercedes, I would expect the same reaction asking why I couldn’t settle for a Honda when it’s the type of car most middle class people drive.

If I then said “because it means I am forever middle class instead of UMC and I’m sad about that,” I would expect some amount of ridicule. And maybe some sympathy from similar UMC wannabes.

Housing impacts quality of life and outcomes exponentially more than the type of car you have. But yeah in if someone wrote in the cars forum that they'd been saving up for a Mercedes for 20 years and suddenly the price went up 20%, now they can never have it because they are toonclose.to retirement, I would definitely have sympathy. Not sure why anyone wouldn't. I don't only care about people who are less fortunate than me. It's a little weird and creepy to lack the ability to have compassion for anyone unless you literally pity them.

The price of cars DID suddenly increase, and many people posted about it, and the general response was commiseration while also suggesting cheaper cars.

There aren’t a lot of options when you can’t afford what you want, this is not rocket science.

And this thread is a mix of some posters commiserating and others being extremely mean to OP

It’s not being mean. It annoyance at having some self awareness and being super appreciative that you can still afford really nice SFHs in really nice school districts by yourself. You know how many single moms are out here struggling to make the rent on 2br garden apartments where their two kids are sharing a room together?!!! A single mom with two kids who makes $100k is still gonna struggle in this real estate market to make a $2,500 rent. She could only dream of being wealthy enough to afford a $1.2M home. Have some perspective!!

You really don't understand the concept of commiserating do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

It’s up to OP whether she wants to settle for less or keep renting.

In terms of being helpful, not clear what help OP was looking for except for others to agree that it sucks without offering any advice.

Sounds to me like she was venting. Not sure why that is so confusing to you.

[Anonymous]

OP the trillions spend on Covid relief wasn’t free money. It resulted in inflation. Next time don’t vote for politicians who want to buy votes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

It’s up to OP whether she wants to settle for less or keep renting.

In terms of being helpful, not clear what help OP was looking for except for others to agree that it sucks without offering any advice.

Sounds to me like she was venting. Not sure why that is so confusing to you.

It’s confusing why she is turning to an anonymous message board to get sympathy for a very unsympathetic position.

OP should stick to venting in her social circles where all her peers in their $1.5 million houses will definitely feel bad for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Btw for my FIL, it's not that he isn't willing to get a cheaper car, it's that his dream was a Mercedes. Telling him to just get a cheaper car is
.. I mean it's fine, but not particular helpful or emotionally intelligent.

Your FIL would probably have the sense to not claim to be a victim for not being able to afford a Mercedes though. That’s the difference.

How many people white knighting for OP would have the same attitude if OP said she couldn’t afford a Porsche anymore and had to settle for a Lexus. Because that is basically the same thing she’s doing here.

Whoosh

[Anonymous]

My FIL is a man, that is why you would not respond the same way to him. Men are allowed to work hard and want nice things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP the trillions spend on Covid relief wasn’t free money. It resulted in inflation. Next time don’t vote for politicians who want to buy votes.

didn't both parties approve covid relief money - both under trump and biden??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is a man, that is why you would not respond the same way to him. Men are allowed to work hard and want nice things.

One more time for those in the back:

People are allowed to want nice things. People are allowed to be disappointed if they can’t afford those things. People are even allowed to complain about not being able to afford those things.

However, if the thing you want is a luxury and you are complaining to people who have far less, you will sound entitled and tone deaf.

The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is a man, that is why you would not respond the same way to him. Men are allowed to work hard and want nice things.

One more time for those in the back:

People are allowed to want nice things. People are allowed to be disappointed if they can’t afford those things. People are even allowed to complain about not being able to afford those things.

However, if the thing you want is a luxury and you are complaining to people who have far less, you will sound entitled and tone deaf.

The end.

Plenty of people on DCUM with these budgets or larger complain about the market. Suddenly OP is a monster for doing the same? GTFOOH

[Anonymous]

I understand how OP feels because 3 years ago she definitely could have bought this house inMcLean for 1.2 possibly for less

https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/1218-Vinita-Ln-22102/home/9265662

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand how OP feels because 3 years ago she definitely could have bought this house inMcLean for 1.2 possibly for less

https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/1218-Vinita-Ln-22102/home/9265662

We all understand why she’s upset.

Fact remains, there are still other houses she can buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is a man, that is why you would not respond the same way to him. Men are allowed to work hard and want nice things.

One more time for those in the back:

People are allowed to want nice things. People are allowed to be disappointed if they can’t afford those things. People are even allowed to complain about not being able to afford those things.

However, if the thing you want is a luxury and you are complaining to people who have far less, you will sound entitled and tone deaf.

The end.

Plenty of people on DCUM with these budgets or larger complain about the market. Suddenly OP is a monster for doing the same? GTFOOH

Exactly. And plenty of $1 million homes here are nothing close to luxurious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My FIL is a man, that is why you would not respond the same way to him. Men are allowed to work hard and want nice things.

One more time for those in the back:

People are allowed to want nice things. People are allowed to be disappointed if they can’t afford those things. People are even allowed to complain about not being able to afford those things.

However, if the thing you want is a luxury and you are complaining to people who have far less, you will sound entitled and tone deaf.

The end.

Plenty of people on DCUM with these budgets or larger complain about the market. Suddenly OP is a monster for doing the same? GTFOOH

Exactly. And plenty of $1 million homes here are nothing close to luxurious.

It’s really more the tone of being a victim, whining about not being UMC, hyperbole about working forever and never having equity, her total neglect to acknowledge any of the privilege she does have, much less show some of her own empathy toward posters like the one trying to hit at $300k… It all adds up to a very unsympathetic poster who frankly seems incredibly immature for a 50-year old.