Women, please explain what she means by this email

[Anonymous]

First of all I don't want judgement about right or wrong. I'm married and I've been good friends with a woman. We chat a lot online and she's a good emotional crutch. I've told her that I'm not sexually attracted to her and she's replied that same here and it's just "banter", even though we've occasionally flirted (nothing dirty) during our chatting.

So this morning I get a long email from her saying:

"I've done a lot of thinking this weekend and I'm uncomfortable with our conversations and friendship even though I really enjoy it at the time" Blah blah blah, "I see a lot of light and goodness in you and you need to work through things" blah blah blah, "If you need help with specific questions please email me other than that I'll see you around on the facebook wall".

I thought she knew we were "just friends"? Why this?

[Anonymous]

She's breaking up with you as a friend.

[Anonymous]

She is afraid she is about to get caught.

[Anonymous]

Just respond, "uh, ok"

[Anonymous]

She felt like the flirting was going too far and was no longer comfortable with it.

[Anonymous]

You used this woman as an emotional crutch? Seems wildly inappropriate.

What do you need to "work through?" i.e. what exactly have you been confiding in her?

[Anonymous]

Might be many things ...

-- Despite what you said, she thinks it's more than benign banter.

-- She wants more and is getting distracted by it.

-- She feels she's "cheating" on someone.

Etc.

Doesn't matter. Just say "Okay, that sounds fine to me."

[Anonymous]

Because like you stated, there has been some "flirting" going on between you both + I think she knows that it is inappropriate for a married man such as yourself to talk or act in a certain way toward a woman if you are married. (No judging by the way.) So perhaps she is taking the bull by the horns and nipping this in the bud due to her good morals or guilt.

Or maybe she is developing stronger feelings for you in a romantic way, and knows that as a married man, it would be a disaster to try to pursue anything more than friendship w/you. So she is trying to save herself a lot of hurt down the road by cutting you off as a friend now because she knows that she cannot truthfully be "just a friend" to you when she has romantic feelings for you.

Either way, if you are married and are flirting w/her, it is probably in everyone's best interest if this friendship cools down.

Again...No judging here!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She felt like the flirting was going too far and was no longer comfortable with it.

+1 Either she feels you've taken it too far or she's worried that she will. You should listen to her. What you are doing is an emotional affair, and it's a dangerous, slippery slope.

[Anonymous]

are you the asshole getting naked pictures from the woman who works in your building?
If not, why tell her so bluntly you aren't attracted to her? Did she say something to warrant that? Are you surprised she's no longer having fun flirting with someone who is not sexually attracted to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:are you the asshole getting naked pictures from the woman who works in your building?
If not, why tell her so bluntly you aren't attracted to her? Did she say something to warrant that? Are you surprised she's no longer having fun flirting with someone who is not sexually attracted to her?

No.

[Anonymous]

She realized that your conversations were crossing a line and is cutting them off because you're married. It could be that she realized that she is developing an interest, or it could be that she thought about how your wife would feel if she knew about the flirting, or it could be that she thinks you're developing feelings and what used to be lighthearted is now creepy.

[Anonymous]

Because she thinks you are bordering on an emotional affair. She doesn't want to be your therapist, and you've made it clear that you are just using her as a crutch. So she's getting nothing from the relationship and kicked you to the curb.

[Anonymous]

"I see a lot of light and goodness in you?"

She's a wanna be pop therapist who comes off as a nut job if she really uses phrases like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because she thinks you are bordering on an emotional affair. She doesn't want to be your therapist, and you've made it clear that you are just using her as a crutch. So she's getting nothing from the relationship and kicked you to the curb.

Bingo.