my DH was a jerk

[Anonymous]

We had a busy thanksgiving and my family was in town - my parents, brother and sis in law and baby nephew. Since I am 8 mo preggers, DH did a lot (ok everything) as far as airport runs, cleaning, cooking et. He was amazing My sis in law has a huge heart and wants to help but she is sooo messy. She leaves a path of destruction when she cooks and she did some damage to our glass stovetop and scratched up our expensive stainless steel pan, stuff like that. My dad broke a highball glass- one of the "good" glasses in a highball set my DH bought. I was telling him about the stove damage, and he's like - "I don't want your family to come for the holidays anymore, let's go to their house instead." Now, overarching all of this is the fact that they all flew in from across the country. They cooked and cleaned all weekend, helped stock the freezer for the new baby, and helped me set up the nursery. It is always a ton of work when family visits and they are not perfect, but they are so loving and sweet and they are very kind to DH. They go out of their way to be kind to him. I feel like this was such a mean thing to say - even if he doesn't mean it. I never want to feel like I cannot have my family with me, and they are more important than his highball glasses. I feel like his mean words undermined all the nice things he did this weekend for my family - like it was all insincere. I am having a hard time getting over this. Any words of wisdom would be great.

[Anonymous]

Forget the boo boos, call your family and thank them again for helping you and tell your husband to say he's sorry for hurting your feelings.

Life is short. Gotta go wit da flow. Things happen.

[Anonymous]

You're being pregnant. Your husband is doing everything and then on top of all that hosted YOUR family, which added a ton of work to his load. Then the stove got wrecked. He's just exhausted.

Let him recover. He wasn't a jerk. Don't make this worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're being pregnant. Your husband is doing everything and then on top of all that hosted YOUR family, which added a ton of work to his load. Then the stove got wrecked. He's just exhausted.

Let him recover. He wasn't a jerk. Don't make this worse.

+1000

AND his hi-ball glass was broken. Everyone doesn't love your family or is used to them in the way you are, OP. That doesn't make your husband jerk. Dial it back and let that comment roll. He sounds like a great guy who did a lot for your family this weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're being pregnant. Your husband is doing everything and then on top of all that hosted YOUR family, which added a ton of work to his load. Then the stove got wrecked. He's just exhausted.

Let him recover. He wasn't a jerk. Don't make this worse.

+1000

AND his hi-ball glass was broken. Everyone doesn't love your family or is used to them in the way you are, OP. That doesn't make your husband jerk. Dial it back and let that comment roll. He sounds like a great guy who did a lot for your family this weekend.

I agree. Then he was listening to you bitch about the stovetop. Men like to fix things so when you were bitching he was fixing by saying to go to their house.

You're the jerk op. Your husband sounds amazing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're being pregnant. Your husband is doing everything and then on top of all that hosted YOUR family, which added a ton of work to his load. Then the stove got wrecked. He's just exhausted.

Let him recover. He wasn't a jerk. Don't make this worse.

+1000

AND his hi-ball glass was broken. Everyone doesn't love your family or is used to them in the way you are, OP. That doesn't make your husband jerk. Dial it back and let that comment roll. He sounds like a great guy who did a lot for your family this weekend.

I agree. Then he was listening to you bitch about the stovetop. Men like to fix things so when you were bitching he was fixing by saying to go to their house.

You're the jerk op. Your husband sounds amazing!

+1

[Anonymous]

Wow.. Ignore the jerk comments OP.. The other posters get it. We have played out that scenario on both sides.. Accidents happen. You are ready to give birth and DH is probably exhausted.
Let it go.

[Anonymous]

I recommend holding it against him for months if not years and when you give birth, you shouldn't sleep with him for at least one (1) year.

That will surely teach him to be respectful of your family

[Anonymous]

Roll back the emotion OP.

Revisit the topic of IL visiting next year when you're not hormonal and everyone has cooled down snd cooler heads prevail. Hev, you'll probably laugh at how spazoidal you were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recommend holding it against him for months if not years and when you give birth, you shouldn't sleep with him for at least one (1) year.

That will surely teach him to be respectful of your family

haha.

As a PP said, your husband was probably tired of your nitpicky lists of things that got broken. He probably didn't notice. If you love your family, let it go. Otherwise charge them for the damage with an itemized invoice (JOKING)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a busy thanksgiving and my family was in town - my parents, brother and sis in law and baby nephew. Since I am 8 mo preggers, DH did a lot (ok everything) as far as airport runs, cleaning, cooking et. He was amazing My sis in law has a huge heart and wants to help but she is sooo messy. She leaves a path of destruction when she cooks and she did some damage to our glass stovetop and scratched up our expensive stainless steel pan, stuff like that. My dad broke a highball glass- one of the "good" glasses in a highball set my DH bought. I was telling him about the stove damage, and he's like - "I don't want your family to come for the holidays anymore, let's go to their house instead." Now, overarching all of this is the fact that they all flew in from across the country. They cooked and cleaned all weekend, helped stock the freezer for the new baby, and helped me set up the nursery. It is always a ton of work when family visits and they are not perfect, but they are so loving and sweet and they are very kind to DH. They go out of their way to be kind to him. I feel like this was such a mean thing to say - even if he doesn't mean it. I never want to feel like I cannot have my family with me, and they are more important than his highball glasses. I feel like his mean words undermined all the nice things he did this weekend for my family - like it was all insincere. I am having a hard time getting over this. Any words of wisdom would be great.

Yeah, men get to vent, too. Stop being so ridiculous and revisit the topic next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a busy thanksgiving and my family was in town - my parents, brother and sis in law and baby nephew. Since I am 8 mo preggers, DH did a lot (ok everything) as far as airport runs, cleaning, cooking et. He was amazing My sis in law has a huge heart and wants to help but she is sooo messy. She leaves a path of destruction when she cooks and she did some damage to our glass stovetop and scratched up our expensive stainless steel pan, stuff like that. My dad broke a highball glass- one of the "good" glasses in a highball set my DH bought. I was telling him about the stove damage, and he's like - "I don't want your family to come for the holidays anymore, let's go to their house instead." Now, overarching all of this is the fact that they all flew in from across the country. They cooked and cleaned all weekend, helped stock the freezer for the new baby, and helped me set up the nursery. It is always a ton of work when family visits and they are not perfect, but they are so loving and sweet and they are very kind to DH. They go out of their way to be kind to him. I feel like this was such a mean thing to say - even if he doesn't mean it. I never want to feel like I cannot have my family with me, and they are more important than his highball glasses. I feel like his mean words undermined all the nice things he did this weekend for my family - like it was all insincere. I am having a hard time getting over this. Any words of wisdom would be great.

Yeah, men get to vent, too. Stop being so ridiculous and revisit the topic next year.

Agreed. I feel bad for Op's husband. You know this isn't the first time...

[Anonymous]

Op, I feel bad for you. I think Dh made a mountain out of a molehill.. Accidents happen and it's certainly not a reason to cut your family off from ever visiting again, that's absurd! Maybe you can sit him down and speak to him about how much his comment bothered you, that you don't enjoy having threats hanging over your head.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your DH was overwhelmed and exhausted after the visit, and your complaints about the damage they caused was probably the last straw for him. Let things cool down, and revisit the issue (fresh, not dragging up this conversation again) closer to the holidays next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I feel bad for you. I think Dh made a mountain out of a molehill.. Accidents happen and it's certainly not a reason to cut your family off from ever visiting again, that's absurd! Maybe you can sit him down and speak to him about how much his comment bothered you, that you don't enjoy having threats hanging over your head.

I would just let it go. Of course he'll say he doesn't want to invite them again as soon as they leave. He may be more forgiving as the months pass.