my DH was a jerk

[Anonymous]

My spouse says things like what your husband said every time we have a visit with my family. It's hurtful and unhelpful. I try to let it roll off, but it sticks with you. Don't have any help, just saying you're not alone.

Also, congrats on the baby. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Let it go, OP. You're pregnant and emotional. Your husband was tired. He did a lot for you and your family, and as nice as everyone sounds, a family visit is exhausting. What was said was said in a moment of frustration and fatigue.

You should stop talking about the petty things--like what got broken or damaged. They're just things, and you're lucky to have a such nice family who would do so much for you, as well as a loving husband who does so much for you.

Your husband probably felt like he did all that for you and your family, and then you were just upset and complaining about everything. It's a very typical male reaction to say what he said--a "solution" response that we women take the wrong way. He probably felt like he was offering the solution to your unhappiness, because he sounds like he adores you and it pains him to see you unhappy. He probably also felt unappreciated. It's a strain and a lot of work having a houseful of in-laws!

I would be big about it, and just let it go, give him a hug and thank him for all he did. Acknowledge it's great to have family, but also very tiring. And then drop the subject. Next year the two of you will be thrilled to have the family back.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, after my in-laws left post Thanksgiving, I mentioned wanting to get a hotel for their next visit. For me or for them, either way. I love them, they're great grandparents, but I can only take so much of them as houseguests. I was nice as can be over the holiday, but our house is small, I'm an introvert with an extrovert MIL and I need my own space to retreat to.

Of course, my in-laws will come visit and stay in our house again. But, I have much sympathy for his suggestion.

[Anonymous]

We're pregnant
I'm preggers

Top two on my hate phrase list

[Anonymous]

He's right, it would be easier to go there then pick up the pieces behind them. Doesn't mean he doesn't like them or isn't happy they left food. You're being overly emotional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let it go, OP. You're pregnant and emotional. Your husband was tired. He did a lot for you and your family, and as nice as everyone sounds, a family visit is exhausting. What was said was said in a moment of frustration and fatigue.

You should stop talking about the petty things--like what got broken or damaged. They're just things, and you're lucky to have a such nice family who would do so much for you, as well as a loving husband who does so much for you.

Your husband probably felt like he did all that for you and your family, and then you were just upset and complaining about everything. It's a very typical male reaction to say what he said--a "solution" response that we women take the wrong way. He probably felt like he was offering the solution to your unhappiness, because he sounds like he adores you and it pains him to see you unhappy. He probably also felt unappreciated. It's a strain and a lot of work having a houseful of in-laws!

I would be big about it, and just let it go, give him a hug and thank him for all he did. Acknowledge it's great to have family, but also very tiring. And then drop the subject. Next year the two of you will be thrilled to have the family back.

+1000 - and I'm a guy whose exW rarely, if ever, did this over 14 years together.

The bold is exactly what I would've hoped for even once - do this tonight to your DH

[Anonymous]

Things get scrsyched, highball glasses get broken, even fone crystal and china can be broken. They are things and considering all that your family did to help, you DH is petty and knows the price of everything but has no idea of value. He's a jerk and whining baby.

[Anonymous]

Scratched, not scrsyched and fine, not fone china .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're pregnant
I'm preggers

Top two on my hate phrase list

Cool story.

[Anonymous]

OP you aren't being a jerk, but neither is your husband. Let it go; you don't even have to worry about this for a year and who knows how you guys will feel then.

[Anonymous]

Let. It. Go.

[Anonymous]

He just vented. He'll get over it in a few days.

[Anonymous]

Your DH vented. Obviously he likes your family. Let it go.

Also, don't blame your overreacting on being pregnant. It seems like part of your personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're being pregnant. Your husband is doing everything and then on top of all that hosted YOUR family, which added a ton of work to his load. Then the stove got wrecked. He's just exhausted.

Let him recover. He wasn't a jerk. Don't make this worse.

+1000

AND his hi-ball glass was broken. Everyone doesn't love your family or is used to them in the way you are, OP. That doesn't make your husband jerk. Dial it back and let that comment roll. He sounds like a great guy who did a lot for your family this weekend.

I'm in this camp also. It's dangerously easy to lose perspective on your spouse's exhaustion, efforts, hard work, etc... Especially when pregnant, with small kids, family visiting, holidays, and all that goes with all of those things.

Try to shake it off and focus on the big picture things OP. Focus on the many many things your husband did right. Don't let one comment undermine his efforts. You'll need and want the same consideration from him.

[Anonymous]

ILs are tiring, even when they're well-liked. Let it go, OP.