government freeloading sister in law

[Anonymous]

I need to let this out somewhere and wanted to see if other people would be annoyed also. So my sister in law in 21 and pregnant, just moved in with the boyfriend (whatever this isn't the problem). My husband and I were having a serious talk with her about how expensive things like diapers and other essentials are for babies. She says "Oh I will get everything free from government assistance" Okay as if this wasn't bad enough. She just sent me a bunch of pictures of lots of excessive designer baby clothes she just bought for this summer. I felt outraged and pissed off, if you don't have the money to pay for diapers and my tax dollars are taking care of that, you don't have money to be buying a $40 bikini for a newborn.

I offered to lend her my breastpump and my mother in law responded that they would be getting free formula for the baby. As if I only breastfed to save money? Lunatic!

Would anyone else be annoyed?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I'd be annoyed. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Totally annoyed. Similar story: my MIL was on unemployment a few years ago. Was not looking for jobs like she was supp'd to be certifying she was. Would just sit on the couch. She said after all the years working she was owed this break/money. I wanted to scream. Very annoying attitude.

[Anonymous]

I'd be livid-- even more so knowing that there's not a blessed thing you can do about it.

You have my sympathies.

[Anonymous]

Why are you annoyed? She's in for a big shock-- both in how expensive babies are and in how little govt assistance is actually available.

Once the baby is born, and she realizes there is no easiness or glamour in her new life, she'll probably be more receptive to your advice and hand-me-downs.

Try to be compassionate. Her life will get hard fast.

[Anonymous]

People like this just provide fodder for right wingers. I would hope they are the exception rather than the rule.

[zumbamama]

Although I like PP's compassionate attitude...it's hard not to be annoyed at situations like that. Government checks to buy designer baby clothes? She will have a wake up call once baby is born, I hope.

[Anonymous]

WIC does provide money for formula, but I don't think anyone gives you free diapers.

[Anonymous]

OP here. She is at least getting free diapers and formula and that is enough to get me outraged. I felt like saying to her, I would like to get back at least $1200 for the first year of my sons life because realistically I would have rather bought a new Gucci purse instead of all those diapers.

She once told me that her boyfriend made "good money" on disability. My husband spit out his food and was like, maybe I should just start paying your bills directly because essentially that is what I am doing.

The fact that my mother in law is fully in favor of the whole thing makes me pissed at her too.

[Anonymous]

my goodness, where does a person get free diapers and formula? I never heard of free diapers before....

[Anonymous]

This really is the land of the free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you annoyed? She's in for a big shock-- both in how expensive babies are and in how little govt assistance is actually available.

Once the baby is born, and she realizes there is no easiness or glamour in her new life, she'll probably be more receptive to your advice and hand-me-downs.

Try to be compassionate. Her life will get hard fast.

I agree with every part of this but the why are you annoyed bit. Of course OP is annoyed because it's hard to see someone so enthusiastically run right into that brick wall. If your SIL is 21, pregnant, and living with a man who is gaming the system (if he's truly disabled then I think it's wonderful that he's living okay despite needing the assistance) she is being very irresponsible. This is hard to see and hard to tolerate. But PP is right, her life is going to get very hard. I'm sure she will get some free formula, but I also have never heard of free diapers. Even if she gets the free diapers, what will she do about a stroller, a crib, and all of the other things that you need to have when you have a little baby? If for some strange reason it really is easy for this young lady financially, you can bet that it will be hard for her emotionally.

I don't want to play devil's advocate, but do you think she might be pulling your leg a little bit or just blowing you off with flip "whatever" answers because you and your husband are giving her talking to's when she just wants to feel the baby is welcomed and an exciting thing? I'm really grasping because I have no idea, but that could be the other side. There's a good chance that she's young and scared and extremely resentful of people who, instead of encouraging her, are bringing her down (however well intentioned your talks might be).

Like I said, you might be the most supportive people on the earth and I don't even blame you if you ARE being stern with her and obviously you've been nice to her as well, offering to loan her your breast pump--she certainly does sound like she needs a good talking to and the MIL too!

[Anonymous]

"I offered to lend her my breastpump and my mother in law responded that they would be getting free formula for the baby. As if I only breastfed to save money? Lunatic!"

Back off, Nursing Nazi! How about minding your own "ffing business and dropping the martyr act? Sheesh!

"Like I said, you might be the most supportive people on the earth and I don't even blame you if you ARE being stern with her and obviously you've been nice to her as well, offering to loan her your breast pump--she certainly does sound like she needs a good talking to and the MIL too!"

Another big bag of bull! Mind your own business! How hard is that do to?

[Anonymous]

This is the dumbest topic EVER on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone give a rat's a$s if a parent got "free diapers" or whatever? This kid will be a blood relative of your husband. (I think. This is another poorly written post...) Don't you nitwits have lives?