Received a pre-printed generic thank you card

[Anonymous]

I am not a thank-you card person. I dont care about them, rarely is ever, send one after I have said a verbal thank-you, and even sometimes slack off on sending them when there hasnt been a verbal thank you.

However.... I just got a thank you card from a reasonably close friend (used to be closer but now live out of state) for a baby gift. It was pre-typed/printed and just said "Thank you for sharing this moment with us and for the lovely gift" (or something along those lines). This, to me, seemed worse than not sending one at all. It didnt even have my name on it and the envelope said "Mr. and Mrs. X and daughter". It actually said daughter - they didnt even fill in my daughter's name!

Is this the norm now?

[Anonymous]

It's the thought that counts. It sucks to make time to write out thank-you's when you are dealing with a new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a thank-you card person. I dont care about them, rarely is ever, send one after I have said a verbal thank-you, and even sometimes slack off on sending them when there hasnt been a verbal thank you.

However.... I just got a thank you card from a reasonably close friend (used to be closer but now live out of state) for a baby gift. It was pre-typed/printed and just said "Thank you for sharing this moment with us and for the lovely gift" (or something along those lines). This, to me, seemed worse than not sending one at all. It didnt even have my name on it and the envelope said "Mr. and Mrs. X and daughter". It actually said daughter - they didnt even fill in my daughter's name!

Is this the norm now?

No, it is not worse than not sending one at all. It is better to send a pre-printed thanks than to ignore a gift. Priceless that you admit to not sending thank-yous even when you haven't even verbally acknowledged the gift and now you are complaining about this.

[Anonymous]

She said that she doesn't send them if she HAS given a verbal thank you.

OP. yes, it's extremely rude to send pre printed thank yous. If someone takes the time to select and get a gift to a freind, that friend should find five minues to jot off a quick reply. The back of a postcard is okay.

Thing is, this goes for you too.

[Anonymous]

I think moms with a newborn baby get a pass from the thank-you card obligation. If they send one at all, it's a bonus. But, I remember being a new mom with a newborn - and there's just so much going on - I barely felt like I could keep my head above water. Of course, I dutifully wrote and sent everyone a thank you card. However, since I remember those days vividly, I don't mind at all if I get no card for a newborn gift.

[Anonymous]

It's super tacky, but it's better than nothing. At least you know they got the gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She said that she doesn't send them if she HAS given a verbal thank you.

OP. yes, it's extremely rude to send pre printed thank yous. If someone takes the time to select and get a gift to a freind, that friend should find five minues to jot off a quick reply. The back of a postcard is okay.

Thing is, this goes for you too.

No, if you read her post carefully, she says that sometimes she lets notes slide even if she hasn't verbally thanked them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a thank-you card person. I dont care about them, rarely is ever, send one after I have said a verbal thank-you, and even sometimes slack off on sending them when there hasnt been a verbal thank you.

However.... I just got a thank you card from a reasonably close friend (used to be closer but now live out of state) for a baby gift. It was pre-typed/printed and just said "Thank you for sharing this moment with us and for the lovely gift" (or something along those lines). This, to me, seemed worse than not sending one at all. It didnt even have my name on it and the envelope said "Mr. and Mrs. X and daughter". It actually said daughter - they didnt even fill in my daughter's name!

Is this the norm now?

PP again--here is the direct quote from OP.

[Anonymous]

I normally try to write my thank you cards, but don't hold everyone to the same obligation. If I give a gift, I give a gift; I don't expect anything back. If I send a thank you card (or any other card for that matter), I give a thank you card; I don't expect anything back. Sure it's nice to have reciprocation but I don't think less of the people because they did not do the same thing I did. Frankly they might have certain circumstances in their family that I perhaps do not understand or know.

OP, I think you really need to take a chill pill and not focus on the negativity. Seriously!

[Anonymous]

I did something similar with my first child. I wrote a long letter (kind of like a Christmas letter) and sent a picture of our baby to everyone. My first was a preemie, I had a really rough delivery and took a very long time to recover, and although I often stayed up late into the night trying to finish all my thank yous, I was unable to do them all. We got a ton of gifts. When our baby got to be about 5 months old, I went with the form letter route for everyone I had not gotten to yet.

I am sure some people were offended, but others told me that they were glad to get the letter and the picture and that it was much more information than they would get in a normal thank you.

Having been in a similar boat as the OP's friend, I would say at least she tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a thank-you card person. I dont care about them, rarely is ever, send one after I have said a verbal thank-you, and even sometimes slack off on sending them when there hasnt been a verbal thank you.

However.... I just got a thank you card from a reasonably close friend (used to be closer but now live out of state) for a baby gift. It was pre-typed/printed and just said "Thank you for sharing this moment with us and for the lovely gift" (or something along those lines). This, to me, seemed worse than not sending one at all. It didnt even have my name on it and the envelope said "Mr. and Mrs. X and daughter". It actually said daughter - they didnt even fill in my daughter's name!

Is this the norm now?

Oh, don't take it too seriously.
I sent my thank you cards 2 months later.
Doing anything when you have a newborn in tow is hard.
From lack of sleep and exhaustion beyond belief, I felt lucky to have mailed something out to everyone.
(I bought wrong cards, didn't make enough pictures from CVS, ran out of stamps, etc.)

If you are a good friend, this IS the time to be understanding.

[Anonymous]

I would cut some slack for a new mom. Although I did do all mine by hand.

But, one year we got generic thank yous for wedding gifts - from 3 separate couples! I found that to be very strange. Perhaps it is a new trend and I did not get the memo!

[Anonymous]

OP OP OP, you are a mess. You are silly enough to acknowledge how rude you are and then are dumb enough to criticize others choice of thanks. Get yourself an etiquette book fast.

Of course, one should write a personal note. Of course. But you are in the largest glass house throwing boulders.

This is a shame...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did something similar with my first child. I wrote a long letter (kind of like a Christmas letter) and sent a picture of our baby to everyone. My first was a preemie, I had a really rough delivery and took a very long time to recover, and although I often stayed up late into the night trying to finish all my thank yous, I was unable to do them all. We got a ton of gifts. When our baby got to be about 5 months old, I went with the form letter route for everyone I had not gotten to yet.

I am sure some people were offended, but others told me that they were glad to get the letter and the picture and that it was much more information than they would get in a normal thank you.

Having been in a similar boat as the OP's friend, I would say at least she tried.

The thing is, the form letter and pictures idea seems more thoughtful to me than a few preprinted lines on a card sent to so and so "and daughter." The and daughter thing seems so blase and dismissive.

I haven't had any kids yet (pregnant with my first) but I'm a pretty good thank you note writer. We got all of our wedding thank yous out within a month of our honeymoon and I wrote long, personal messages to each guest. (Yay for me, I know aka who cares - ha ha ha). Anyway, agree that when a new baby is involved all bets are off. But if I hadn't sent thank you notes for baby gifts at, say, 6 months, I think I'd hire a babysitter for an afternoon and sit down and pound them out.

As far as being a gift giver who does not get a note, I don't really notice if I don't get a note for a baby gift I"ve given, but I DO think Id notice if I got some weird impersonal letter like OP got. And when I DO get a prompt note thanking me for a baby gift it makes me feel really good and I appreciate it so much because I know the mom is super busy!

I'm also the poster who gave the OP credit for only missing written thank you's when she's verbally thanked. I see I missed her second confession. OP, bad bad! You must thank!

[Anonymous]

In response to cut a new mom some slack. I agree - new moms get slack - but that slack is in the amount of time allowed to get out thank you notes not in the generic pre-printed card.

I expect to get a generic pre-printed card for a baby announcement - not for acknowledging something that I spent time selecting and sending.