Share your story - Mother and MIL venting

Anonymous
Had a small party/ BBQ for DD's 1st birthday. (First grandchild for my mom, so crazy obsessed.) Mom basically started planning play dates with the other kids' moms at HER house with my DD. No asking me, not consideration that we might have our own calendar. I find out later in the day as one friend commented to me privately that this was happening. *sigh*
Anonymous
OMG. Boundaries. Unbelievable.
Anonymous
At every birthday party until we stopped inviting her.

MIL: Larla! Larla! Come here to grandma (only her grandma name isn't grandma it is some name she made up herself). Grandma needs a hug and a kiss!!

Me: MIL, the clown is performing/kids are in the bounce house/Cinderella is dancing. They will be done in about 20 minutes.

MIL: Well! I guess she just doesn't have any time for her grandma! (Huff. Stomp. Pout. Huff. Huff)

Me: eyeroll

Please note. This exchange happens after she has been there for an hour, including a half an hour alone with the kids, before any of the guests including my own parents arrive. I just stopped inviting her to the party. I send my husband and the birthday child out with her to celebrate separately and enjoy some me time.
Anonymous
My MIL is a life long alcoholic, a selfish "functional" one. Really there is no such thing as a functional alcoholic, but you know what I mean. FIL drinks plenty himself. Enough damage done to my DH. I don't want her near me or my kids. She will never change so I have drawn the line.
Anonymous
When our DD was born 12 years ago, she was the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents. My MIL only has three boys and so was beyond excited that she "finally got her girl" (and she told anyone who'd listen this). MIL sent out her very own birth announcements announcing our baby's birth.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:When our DD was born 12 years ago, she was the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents. My MIL only has three boys and so was beyond excited that she "finally got her girl" (and she told anyone who'd listen this). MIL sent out her very own birth announcements announcing our baby's birth.


wow.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When our DD was born 12 years ago, she was the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents. My MIL only has three boys and so was beyond excited that she "finally got her girl" (and she told anyone who'd listen this). MIL sent out her very own birth announcements announcing our baby's birth.


wow.


That's kind of unbelievable!
What did she do, say "Little Baby Born X Date," or "Grandma so excited to have little baby born?"
My mom did ask for extra announcements to send to friends I hadn't sent announcements to. I thought it was nice. Might want to try that in future if you have more kids?
Anonymous
Just my most recent one, not by any means the worst - they're planning to visit. Only the second time in 2 years (they are driving distance, but overnight stays are necessary).

"I'm bringing chicken and potatoes and cereal with me"
"Um, why?"
"You never have any food in the house"

REALLY?? Your first visit i went out of my way to make really nice meals that accommodated whatever fad diet you were on at the time. The second visit I had a 2 WEEK OLD - I told you there was pasta in the pantry and handed you a folder of take out menus. Don't judge my ability to keep a functional and fed household based on when I had a 2 week old and preschooler. I actually cook real meals far more often than most people I know.
Anonymous
When we stay with my MIL for a weekend visit and other grandchildren are there, she makes breakfast for only my SIL's kids... not mine.

Like, as in 3 bowls of oatmeal set aside with a buffet of add-ins and nothing for the other grandkids.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:When we stay with my MIL for a weekend visit and other grandchildren are there, she makes breakfast for only my SIL's kids... not mine.

Like, as in 3 bowls of oatmeal set aside with a buffet of add-ins and nothing for the other grandkids.

Say what?!?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:When we stay with my MIL for a weekend visit and other grandchildren are there, she makes breakfast for only my SIL's kids... not mine.

Like, as in 3 bowls of oatmeal set aside with a buffet of add-ins and nothing for the other grandkids.


You know that for the sake of your kids' self-respect you can't put them in that situation anymore, right? Don't stay with a person who thinks of them as second-class citizens.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Just my most recent one, not by any means the worst - they're planning to visit. Only the second time in 2 years (they are driving distance, but overnight stays are necessary).

"I'm bringing chicken and potatoes and cereal with me"
"Um, why?"
"You never have any food in the house"

REALLY?? Your first visit i went out of my way to make really nice meals that accommodated whatever fad diet you were on at the time. The second visit I had a 2 WEEK OLD - I told you there was pasta in the pantry and handed you a folder of take out menus. Don't judge my ability to keep a functional and fed household based on when I had a 2 week old and preschooler. I actually cook real meals far more often than most people I know.


You see that wouldn't really bother me. But maybe I'm too complacent. Bring your own food. I don't care.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When we stay with my MIL for a weekend visit and other grandchildren are there, she makes breakfast for only my SIL's kids... not mine.

Like, as in 3 bowls of oatmeal set aside with a buffet of add-ins and nothing for the other grandkids.

Say what?!?


Are you serious? are your kids older than the others? or she has some sort of old-fashioned idea that she can help her daughter, the SIL, but not you as you as a woman can take care of your own kids? Or maybe she knows what the SIL's kids eat but not yours? That's so weird it's hard to believe there's not an explanation! Unless she's just a total0000 bitch!
Anonymous
Mine is somewhat more complicated because:
1. I was a teenage mother to two kids
2. We lived in her house

She would constantly overrule me to my own kids. I'd say they couldn't do something and she'd say they could. She genuinely thought I had no parent-cred because I was a teenager and that since she'd been a mother longer than I had, she knew better than I did. So things like this happened multiple times a day:
5:30 pm
Me: No, you've watched enough tv, go play
MIL: Why are you sitting in the hallway playing cars?
Son: Because Mama said I can't watch tv
MIL: Of COURSE you can! Do you want some ice cream to eat while you watch?

I couldn't move out fast enough.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Mine is somewhat more complicated because:
1. I was a teenage mother to two kids
2. We lived in her house

She would constantly overrule me to my own kids. I'd say they couldn't do something and she'd say they could. She genuinely thought I had no parent-cred because I was a teenager and that since she'd been a mother longer than I had, she knew better than I did. So things like this happened multiple times a day:
5:30 pm
Me: No, you've watched enough tv, go play
MIL: Why are you sitting in the hallway playing cars?
Son: Because Mama said I can't watch tv
MIL: Of COURSE you can! Do you want some ice cream to eat while you watch?

I couldn't move out fast enough.


Just the fact that you had two children when you were a teenager would suggest that your mother wasn't a good mother.
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