Inheritance debacle. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Op here,

My godmother had a good deal of money to live on. The money that I explained here that has been doled out to Mary, Roy and myself, are not all the assets that were distributed. There was more money and assets that went to other people (money to charity, money to her close friend, etc). Not sure why this is relevant.

[Anonymous]

Since Mary inherited a significant amount of money, maybe all she really needs now is an appointment with a good, independent financial advisor. They can help her make a plan for her current needs and her future goals with what she has.
https://www.napfa.org

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this is a real story or not and I'm somewhat inclined to think that if it's true, many of the details have been embellished or changed and that has caused people to be skeptical.

Regardless of circumstances, there's a surprising amount of bitter anger, particularly from Larla's "supporters." I find that more intriguing than anything told to us by Larla.

I agree with the above and also wonder about the posts from Larla's "supporters." The comments are so mean spirited, so vituperative, and sometimes so vulgar that it's almost as though the posters know Mary and have strong feelings of hate toward her. The comments sound as though they come from someone who has resented Mary for a long time and is almost gleeful at the idea off her finally getting her comeuppance.

It is those posts that make me think there's more to this story that is being told here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this is a real story or not and I'm somewhat inclined to think that if it's true, many of the details have been embellished or changed and that has caused people to be skeptical.

Regardless of circumstances, there's a surprising amount of bitter anger, particularly from Larla's "supporters." I find that more intriguing than anything told to us by Larla.

I agree with the above and also wonder about the posts from Larla's "supporters." The comments are so mean spirited, so vituperative, and sometimes so vulgar that it's almost as though the posters know Mary and have strong feelings of hate toward her. The comments sound as though they come from someone who has resented Mary for a long time and is almost gleeful at the idea off her finally getting her comeuppance.

It is those posts that make me think there's more to this story that is being told here.

I just think that there are a lot of "Mary"s in this world, and some of the PPs have seen them operate and are tired of them getting their way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this is a real story or not and I'm somewhat inclined to think that if it's true, many of the details have been embellished or changed and that has caused people to be skeptical.

Regardless of circumstances, there's a surprising amount of bitter anger, particularly from Larla's "supporters." I find that more intriguing than anything told to us by Larla.

I agree with the above and also wonder about the posts from Larla's "supporters." The comments are so mean spirited, so vituperative, and sometimes so vulgar that it's almost as though the posters know Mary and have strong feelings of hate toward her. The comments sound as though they come from someone who has resented Mary for a long time and is almost gleeful at the idea off her finally getting her comeuppance.

It is those posts that make me think there's more to this story that is being told here.

I just think that there are a lot of "Mary"s in this world, and some of the PPs have seen them operate and are tired of them getting their way.

Actually - I am more frustrated with all the PPs who for whatever reason - believe that the Mary's of the world don't exist - and because they don't believe that the Mary's of the world don't exist - they somehow come to the immediate assumption that mental illness plays some part in why Mary is who she is.

I am trying to figure out where these people live, that they have never come across someone who is lazy and entitled. It's mind blowing that they just can't wrap their heads around the fact that people like Mary are not rare - but actually very common. There are a lot of people in this world who want, want, want - but are not willing to work, work, work for it. Especially - when they have a free ride.

I also however, agree with you - there are a lot of people who work very hard and have an extremely hard time having any level of compassion for someone who had the means and simply refused to live up to any level of potential.

Finally - there are a lot of people who simply believe that choices have consequences - Mary made 50 years worth of bad choices - and because of her mother - those choices didn't have consequences. Now that her mother is dead - she is facing the consequences of her actions and people are probably dumbfounded about why other people now think that it is 24 year old Larla's job to step in and be Mary's new enabling mother.

So, there are many reasons why people may be against Mary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if this is a real story or not and I'm somewhat inclined to think that if it's true, many of the details have been embellished or changed and that has caused people to be skeptical.

Regardless of circumstances, there's a surprising amount of bitter anger, particularly from Larla's "supporters." I find that more intriguing than anything told to us by Larla.

I agree with the above and also wonder about the posts from Larla's "supporters." The comments are so mean spirited, so vituperative, and sometimes so vulgar that it's almost as though the posters know Mary and have strong feelings of hate toward her. The comments sound as though they come from someone who has resented Mary for a long time and is almost gleeful at the idea off her finally getting her comeuppance.

It is those posts that make me think there's more to this story that is being told here.

I just think that there are a lot of "Mary"s in this world, and some of the PPs have seen them operate and are tired of them getting their way.

Actually - I am more frustrated with all the PPs who for whatever reason - believe that the Mary's of the world don't exist - and because they don't believe that the Mary's of the world don't exist - they somehow come to the immediate assumption that mental illness plays some part in why Mary is who she is.

I am trying to figure out where these people live, that they have never come across someone who is lazy and entitled. It's mind blowing that they just can't wrap their heads around the fact that people like Mary are not rare - but actually very common. There are a lot of people in this world who want, want, want - but are not willing to work, work, work for it. Especially - when they have a free ride.

I also however, agree with you - there are a lot of people who work very hard and have an extremely hard time having any level of compassion for someone who had the means and simply refused to live up to any level of potential.

Finally - there are a lot of people who simply believe that choices have consequences - Mary made 50 years worth of bad choices - and because of her mother - those choices didn't have consequences. Now that her mother is dead - she is facing the consequences of her actions and people are probably dumbfounded about why other people now think that it is 24 year old Larla's job to step in and be Mary's new enabling mother.

So, there are many reasons why people may be against Mary.

Thank you for expressing that so well.

I'm also frustrated with the postet who keeps insisting that this can't be real... if you're that sure it's not real, what the hell are you still doing here then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So, there are many reasons why people may be against Mary.

Thank you for expressing that so well.

I'm also frustrated with the postet who keeps insisting that this can't be real... if you're that sure it's not real, what the hell are you still doing here then?

There's certainly more than one poster who has expressed doubts about the validity of the story.

There are freeloaders like the Mary character in real life. I don't think people dispute the existence of such people. The real issue is the way the story was told to us and how it evolved through the multiple pages. Older and wiser people are perhaps better versed at reading through the lines to see a potential scenario and / or explanation for the events that may contradict the message Lara wants to tell. And, of course, if it's true, then everything we're told is strictly from the perspective one one person and that person has the advantage of wanting to be the "good" person in the story as she is the primary beneficiary of the estate.

Nonetheless, if we are to take the story at face value, we have a situation where a mother let her daughter become codependent, live in the family home almost the entirety of her life, provide her with a generous monthly allowance despite having a job and working (even if beneath her hypothetical potential) and did nothing to dissuade the belief in the expected inheritance of the family property beyond vague statements about not counting her chicks before they hatch. It's clearly a dysfunctional family set up, even without a semi-estranged son involved, and made complicated by the peculiarity of the will, the weird origins of the family house and the other grandmother's involvement. It all adds up to a peculiar picture with elements that are still vague or unanswered or ignored despite questions from other posters. So it's understandable why some people have questioned the validity of the story - as told to us.

Last, but not least, regardless of the validity of the story or the truth behind Mary, expressing such sentiments towards Mary that invokes images of high-fiving, "kick that girl out" and the utter lack of sympathy is perhaps a bit callous, no? It implies a black/white acceptance of the situation based on Mary = bad and Larla = good when the reality, as it is in 99% of the cases, is much more complicated, even if Mary herself may not be a particularly likeable person. Which is why it's always better to take the higher moral road.

I will refrain from commenting any more on this thread. It's obviously not going to go anywhere.

[Anonymous]

What questions, exactly, have I ignored?

If you mean the constant, "But WHY did she leave YOU the house instead of her kids?!?!?!"

The answer is that I DO NOT KNOW. I can guess it is because she has floated my cousin/godsister all this time and gave her some money and called it even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What questions, exactly, have I ignored?

If you mean the constant, "But WHY did she leave YOU the house instead of her kids?!?!?!"

The answer is that I DO NOT KNOW. I can guess it is because she has floated my cousin/godsister all this time and gave her some money and called it even

If this were a TV movie we were watching, I would say the answer to the question of why Thelma left the house to Larla goes back to the day Thelma and Larla's grandmother went to the lawyer together to have Thelma's will written. How interesting that when they left that office, Thelma's home was being left to her sister's granddaughter instead of her own two children. If this were a movie, I think a flashback to what happened in that lawyer's office would answer that question.

Sorry, I know you'd prefer not to have to think of it this way, but the way Thelma's assets were divided in her will is not at all common. It is much more common for an estate to be divided evenly among the children of the deceased. Skipping over the deceased's own children to leave a large asset like a family home to a great niece is highly unusual. It is just not how these things are typically done. I have read a lot of wills and I've never seen one that handled the family home in this manner.

And here's some questions that were never answered: Who served as the witnesses to the will? Who produced the copy of the will after Thelma died? was the lawyer who wrote the will the same one who handled the disposition of the will?

[Anonymous]

This happened in my family. Relative died and left house to be split between all 5 kids ( all adults) but one adult child was living in house with relative for many years "caring" for them. The "caring" was really just sponging off them and house was in shambles. Took a year to get that adult out of house to sell it. Just caused so much turmoil in family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What questions, exactly, have I ignored?

If you mean the constant, "But WHY did she leave YOU the house instead of her kids?!?!?!"

The answer is that I DO NOT KNOW. I can guess it is because she has floated my cousin/godsister all this time and gave her some money and called it even

If this were a TV movie we were watching, I would say the answer to the question of why Thelma left the house to Larla goes back to the day Thelma and Larla's grandmother went to the lawyer together to have Thelma's will written. How interesting that when they left that office, Thelma's home was being left to her sister's granddaughter instead of her own two children. If this were a movie, I think a flashback to what happened in that lawyer's office would answer that question.

Sorry, I know you'd prefer not to have to think of it this way, but the way Thelma's assets were divided in her will is not at all common. It is much more common for an estate to be divided evenly among the children of the deceased. Skipping over the deceased's own children to leave a large asset like a family home to a great niece is highly unusual. It is just not how these things are typically done. I have read a lot of wills and I've never seen one that handled the family home in this manner.

And here's some questions that were never answered: Who served as the witnesses to the will? Who produced the copy of the will after Thelma died? was the lawyer who wrote the will the same one who handled the disposition of the will?

Oh my goodness yes. That fateful day that two old ladies went to a lawyer will live in INFAMY. Who knows what happened in that law office, behind closed doors? The flashback had better have fog and ominous music.

If Mary was my daughter - who I paid college tuition for, who I supported when she was down and out, and who, ultimately, does not care to use any of the help I gave her to establish her own life - I would not leave her the house either. She was left a sum of cash and a car. I would leave the asset to someone else. If I had a goddaughter who seemed to be in a situation where she would either appreciate the house or the cash from the sale of the house, I'd leave the house to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened in my family. Relative died and left house to be split between all 5 kids ( all adults) but one adult child was living in house with relative for many years "caring" for them. The "caring" was really just sponging off them and house was in shambles. Took a year to get that adult out of house to sell it. Just caused so much turmoil in family.

But in your case, the parent left the house to his/her own children, not a great niece or nephew. This is the more usual situation when an elderly parent dies: to leave the family home to all the children, to be divided evenly among them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What questions, exactly, have I ignored?

If you mean the constant, "But WHY did she leave YOU the house instead of her kids?!?!?!"

The answer is that I DO NOT KNOW. I can guess it is because she has floated my cousin/godsister all this time and gave her some money and called it even

If this were a TV movie we were watching, I would say the answer to the question of why Thelma left the house to Larla goes back to the day Thelma and Larla's grandmother went to the lawyer together to have Thelma's will written. How interesting that when they left that office, Thelma's home was being left to her sister's granddaughter instead of her own two children. If this were a movie, I think a flashback to what happened in that lawyer's office would answer that question.

Sorry, I know you'd prefer not to have to think of it this way, but the way Thelma's assets were divided in her will is not at all common. It is much more common for an estate to be divided evenly among the children of the deceased. Skipping over the deceased's own children to leave a large asset like a family home to a great niece is highly unusual. It is just not how these things are typically done. I have read a lot of wills and I've never seen one that handled the family home in this manner.

And here's some questions that were never answered: Who served as the witnesses to the will? Who produced the copy of the will after Thelma died? was the lawyer who wrote the will the same one who handled the disposition of the will?

Oh my goodness yes. That fateful day that two old ladies went to a lawyer will live in INFAMY. Who knows what happened in that law office, behind closed doors? The flashback had better have fog and ominous music.

If Mary was my daughter - who I paid college tuition for, who I supported when she was down and out, and who, ultimately, does not care to use any of the help I gave her to establish her own life - I would not leave her the house either. She was left a sum of cash and a car. I would leave the asset to someone else. If I had a goddaughter who seemed to be in a situation where she would either appreciate the house or the cash from the sale of the house, I'd leave the house to her.

Exactly.
Funny how it seems the one poster who doesn't believe the story CONSTANTLY has the most to write (and I know you want us to believe there are many of you witing these long winded posts, but the lengthy writing styles point to just one... and thankfully she won't be back (so she says).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What questions, exactly, have I ignored?

If you mean the constant, "But WHY did she leave YOU the house instead of her kids?!?!?!"

The answer is that I DO NOT KNOW. I can guess it is because she has floated my cousin/godsister all this time and gave her some money and called it even

If this were a TV movie we were watching, I would say the answer to the question of why Thelma left the house to Larla goes back to the day Thelma and Larla's grandmother went to the lawyer together to have Thelma's will written. How interesting that when they left that office, Thelma's home was being left to her sister's granddaughter instead of her own two children. If this were a movie, I think a flashback to what happened in that lawyer's office would answer that question.

Sorry, I know you'd prefer not to have to think of it this way, but the way Thelma's assets were divided in her will is not at all common. It is much more common for an estate to be divided evenly among the children of the deceased. Skipping over the deceased's own children to leave a large asset like a family home to a great niece is highly unusual. It is just not how these things are typically done. I have read a lot of wills and I've never seen one that handled the family home in this manner.

And here's some questions that were never answered: Who served as the witnesses to the will? Who produced the copy of the will after Thelma died? was the lawyer who wrote the will the same one who handled the disposition of the will?

The house was originally left to the two sisters (Thelma and Larla's grandmother) by their parents. Who knows what agreement they made when they inherited it. Obviously, only one lived there after they each got married. The house may have remained in both of their names. Fairness would dictate that the one who lived there (Thelma) owed something to the other one who moved out (Larla's grandmother), but we don't know how that was resolved. I doubt this all just happened when the will was drawn up in the lawyer's office.

Thelma left money to others as well in her will, and this important because it appears that she wanted to leave some of her wealth to all who mattered to her. Thelma may have told Mary that her stipend was coming out of her inheritance, and she may have been telling her that all along, but maybe Mary just tuned her out, thinking that the good times would last forever. We really don't know what went on or was said between Thelma and Mary. But it appears to me that Thelma's will was made when she was of sound mind and body, and she seemed to have given much thought to it. I think the family needs to respect and accept Thelma's final wishes -- especially Mary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What questions, exactly, have I ignored?

If you mean the constant, "But WHY did she leave YOU the house instead of her kids?!?!?!"

The answer is that I DO NOT KNOW. I can guess it is because she has floated my cousin/godsister all this time and gave her some money and called it even

If this were a TV movie we were watching, I would say the answer to the question of why Thelma left the house to Larla goes back to the day Thelma and Larla's grandmother went to the lawyer together to have Thelma's will written. How interesting that when they left that office, Thelma's home was being left to her sister's granddaughter instead of her own two children. If this were a movie, I think a flashback to what happened in that lawyer's office would answer that question.

Sorry, I know you'd prefer not to have to think of it this way, but the way Thelma's assets were divided in her will is not at all common. It is much more common for an estate to be divided evenly among the children of the deceased. Skipping over the deceased's own children to leave a large asset like a family home to a great niece is highly unusual. It is just not how these things are typically done. I have read a lot of wills and I've never seen one that handled the family home in this manner.

And here's some questions that were never answered: Who served as the witnesses to the will? Who produced the copy of the will after Thelma died? was the lawyer who wrote the will the same one who handled the disposition of the will?

The house was originally left to the two sisters (Thelma and Larla's grandmother) by their parents. Who knows what agreement they made when they inherited it. Obviously, only one lived there after they each got married. The house may have remained in both of their names. Fairness would dictate that the one who lived there (Thelma) owed something to the other one who moved out (Larla's grandmother), but we don't know how that was resolved. I doubt this all just happened when the will was drawn up in the lawyer's office.

Thelma left money to others as well in her will, and this important because it appears that she wanted to leave some of her wealth to all who mattered to her. Thelma may have told Mary that her stipend was coming out of her inheritance, and she may have been telling her that all along, but maybe Mary just tuned her out, thinking that the good times would last forever. We really don't know what went on or was said between Thelma and Mary. But it appears to me that Thelma's will was made when she was of sound mind and body, and she seemed to have given much thought to it. I think the family needs to respect and accept Thelma's final wishes -- especially Mary.

Somewhere back in this thread, Larla stated that Thelma had bought out the sister's half of the house and there was no agreement to give it back to the sister's side of the family.

Also, we really don't know that this will reflects Thelma's wishes. It's entirely possible that her sister had an influence on how the will was written since she was in the lawyer's office with Thelma when the will was done. I haven't seen evidence here that Thelma gave a lot of thought to her will, just that her sister took her to a lawyer's office to have it done about five years ago.

The issue here is not that Mary needs to be taken care of, but that the usual thing is for parents to pass on their family's assets to their children or possibly their grandchildren. It is rare to see a will that leaves a larger asset to a more distant relative like a great niece rather that the decedent's own children.
It is too bad that Mary and Roy did not get good legal advice about their mother's will.