Moved-on by an attractive man

[Anonymous]

Happily married and faithful for 15 years to a very decent man.

So there is a guy at work and we have developed a friendship over the past 6 months.
He is also married, and I will admit he is quite attractive.
I really like him as a friend, but am not seeking out an affair.

We have gone out to lunch a few times, which is not terribly unusual at my workplace.
Alot of my coworkers will grab lunch together, in groups or just 2, on various days.
Ordinary team building and this is not really any big deal, married or not, right?

But yesterday this man reached out and touched my hair, in a romantic gesture.
I pulled away, but things immediately got "awkward" if you can imagine.

Has this ever happened to anyone?
Especially other married women, has anybody ever made such a direct move on you?
What should I do now that the "line" has been crossed?

[Anonymous]

No never happened to me.

You never go out alone with this coworker again. Limit everything to professional interactions.

[Anonymous]

He. Should. Not. Touch. You.

Two married coworkers should be able to eat lunch together. I do that all the time. Not one of them has tried to touch my hair. Leave this guy alone asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No never happened to me.

You never go out alone with this coworker again. Limit everything to professional interactions.

+1. He crossed his boundaries.

[Anonymous]

why are you spending all this time with this guy. wtf . You don't need close new guy friends at work.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by got awkward? Did you tell him not to do that again? Sounds like you're at a crossroads--if it happens again, I would tell hr.

[Anonymous]

Humblebrag. You know exactly what you should do.
But it does feel good to feel attractive, even when we have no intention of following through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Humblebrag. You know exactly what you should do.
But it does feel good to feel attractive, even when we have no intention of following through.

Or are conflicted on some repressed level.

[Anonymous]

You know why it's never happened to me? It's fairly simple - I don't give men the impression that I would even consider an affair. I talk about my husband often. Everyone I work with knows I am very happily married. My co-workers respect me enough not to cross that line. You sent signals indicating you were interested and he responded. I guess I can see how that would be good for your self-esteem. Honestly though, it would make me feel a little yucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Humblebrag. You know exactly what you should do.
But it does feel good to feel attractive, even when we have no intention of following through.

This. These posts are so stupid. "Omg someone hit on me! What do I do?!?" Makes me think the OP is just sad and pathetic and is just crying out for attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know why it's never happened to me? It's fairly simple - I don't give men the impression that I would even consider an affair. I talk about my husband often. Everyone I work with knows I am very happily married. My co-workers respect me enough not to cross that line. You sent signals indicating you were interested and he responded. I guess I can see how that would be good for your self-esteem. Honestly though, it would make me feel a little yucky.

It is possible, too, that your co-workers are not even considering you in this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happily married and faithful for 15 years to a very decent man.

So there is a guy at work and we have developed a friendship over the past 6 months.
He is also married, and I will admit he is quite attractive.
I really like him as a friend, but am not seeking out an affair.

We have gone out to lunch a few times, which is not terribly unusual at my workplace.
Alot of my coworkers will grab lunch together, in groups or just 2, on various days.
Ordinary team building and this is not really any big deal, married or not, right?

But yesterday this man reached out and touched my hair, in a romantic gesture.
I pulled away, but things immediately got "awkward" if you can imagine.

Has this ever happened to anyone?
Especially other married women, has anybody ever made such a direct move on you?
What should I do now that the "line" has been crossed?

I think it's interesting that you define him in part through relationship based criteria: availability, attractiveness, and strength/duration of friendship. Then you say you're not looking for an affair. Say what you want on this forum, but if you're honest with yourself, your affair has already begun.

[Anonymous]

Just have the affair already. You know you want to.

[Anonymous]

I know where my wife was at 6:52 this morning and it wasn't writing this post. Phew. Because she fits the profile of the OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, just use the fantasy of this other man to spice things up with your DH. Win-win.