Moved-on by an attractive man

[Anonymous]

If you're that freaked out stop having lunch with him problem solved.
He can't cross any more lines if he's not in the vicinity.

[Anonymous]

I'm single, and a married coworker of mine put the moves on me once after a night out of drinking with our friends and coworkers. I'd found out that night that he and his wife were on the verge of separation. I fended him off, said, "we will never speak of this again" and we're still friends. They divorced after that.

I think you say something like "we will never speak of this again" and leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know why it's never happened to me? It's fairly simple - I don't give men the impression that I would even consider an affair. I talk about my husband often. Everyone I work with knows I am very happily married. My co-workers respect me enough not to cross that line. You sent signals indicating you were interested and he responded. I guess I can see how that would be good for your self-esteem. Honestly though, it would make me feel a little yucky.

Or....maybe no one finds you attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No never happened to me.

You never go out alone with this coworker again. Limit everything to professional interactions.

+1. He crossed your boundaries.

FIFY

I agree with the advice to not go out alone with him again, but I also think the OP might've enjoyed it a bit.

[Anonymous]

maybe your hair was in his face or he saw some lice

[Anonymous]

What do you do if this happens and he'a your boss? Cant avoid extended contact. Or the staring during meetings. And dont say go to HR bec they would side with exec boss and put my lowly admin butt on the street if I ever breathed a word out loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do if this happens and he'a your boss? Cant avoid extended contact. Or the staring during meetings. And dont say go to HR bec they would side with exec boss and put my lowly admin butt on the street if I ever breathed a word out loud.

You get a new job. As a lowly admin you should be constantly job hunting already and this predicament should only serve as greater motivation to further your career elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know why it's never happened to me? It's fairly simple - I don't give men the impression that I would even consider an affair. I talk about my husband often. Everyone I work with knows I am very happily married. My co-workers respect me enough not to cross that line. You sent signals indicating you were interested and he responded. I guess I can see how that would be good for your self-esteem. Honestly though, it would make me feel a little yucky.

It is possible, too, that your co-workers are not even considering you in this way.

lmao

[Anonymous]

First and foremost OP, I do not think it is proper for two married people of the opposite sex to lunch together. It just doesn't look right plus it sets the mood for inappropriate things to happen such as what you just mentioned here.

I would diplomatically discuss what happened w/your co-worker. Let him know that you enjoy your WORKING relationship, yet you are a happily married woman + that you feel it was a bit inappropriate what you he did the other day w/touching your hair and all.

Then from now on, I would avoid having any one-on-one lunches w/him.

If you continue to do so, then you will be sending him mixed messages.

[Anonymous]

I tend to agree that most of us know how to put out signals that we're interested, and how to do the opposite. If you're really not looking for an affair, stop having lunch alone with him. If he raises the issue or continues to invite you to do things one on one, tell him you enjoy working with him but that your relationship is going to stay strictly professional and you like to have clear boundaries about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First and foremost OP, I do not think it is proper for two married people of the opposite sex to lunch together. It just doesn't look right plus it sets the mood for inappropriate things to happen such as what you just mentioned here.

I would diplomatically discuss what happened w/your co-worker. Let him know that you enjoy your WORKING relationship, yet you are a happily married woman + that you feel it was a bit inappropriate what you he did the other day w/touching your hair and all.

Then from now on, I would avoid having any one-on-one lunches w/him.

If you continue to do so, then you will be sending him mixed messages.

Please...you expect the OP to take heed to this? HELL NO!! Know why, cause it's reasonable course of action and we all know women aren't reasonable when they're on the receiving end of attention.
Women lose their damn minds when they get some attention. They give their numbers out to guys they're not even attracted to and go out on dates with creeps they're not at all compatible and get intimate with dudes they just met and knowingly sleep with married men and we wonder, why? Why?!!! I'll tell you why cause attention is like kryptonite to ladies and all some jerk has to do is sprinkle a little on a sane rational woman and instantly she turns into a dumb delusional chick in denial who'll believe anything and everything. For a little while at least...
So I'm betting OP continues having lunch with this handsome co-worker and I'm betting she even conveniently "forgets" to tell him about his inappropriate line-crossing cause the attention will have her so enamored she won't be able to see straight.
Check back in about a month or so - you'll see a new topic posted about some chick having an affair with a co-worker and wondering how to keep her job and save her marriage.

[Anonymous]

Happily married and faithful for 15 years to a very decent man

End of story. OP, get off the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm single, and a married coworker of mine put the moves on me once after a night out of drinking with our friends and coworkers. I'd found out that night that he and his wife were on the verge of separation. I fended him off, said, "we will never speak of this again" and we're still friends. They divorced after that.

I think you say something like "we will never speak of this again" and leave it alone.

I had something similar happen with a coworker, but he was and is very married. I told him that I'd put this under our NDA. It has never happened agsin and we are still work friends.

[Anonymous]

He could be a solemate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He could be a solemate.

As in something found on the bottom of a shoe? I agree.