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My son has some pretty severe learning disabilities. We had an evaluation done before he went off to college and the psychologist indicated he had the potential to be successful there. That has not turned out to be the case and he is now getting failing marks in his third program in three years. He should be capable of finding some sort of work, right?! We are willing to help him get any kind of training or find him some sort of apprenticeship, but what?
Who can I find to help me determine a good fit for him? He does not really seem to understand where his strengths lie and I don't want to force him into one kind of work, when there might be something that he would be more successful and happy doing. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. My heart is breaking for my boy! |
| I've heard of families of older kids using a neuropsych for this. Are there some trades that he might be capable of? |
| Yes, I think so. He's very good at building and fixing things, you know, like putting furniture together. He's never tried any woodworking though. He's good at visual-spatial type stuff... |
| Oh, he also seems to have a knack for cooking. Unfortunately, he only eats about five things. |
| I'm looking toward auto and plumbing for my son. He's very interested in auto. I'm looking at Prince George's Community College program right now and hoping that with the supports we can provide for him at home, he will be successful. I feel very positive that if he can get through the education, he will be a great employee. This is a hard stage, OP. Good luck. |
| Is he failing with supports or without? If he has supports (accommodations) from the school, what kind does he have? |
| PP here. There is a wood working shop in Rockville that has classes. Even if that isn't a career, he might like to try it out for a hobby and it isn't that expensive. |
| Yes, he has had multiple accommodations, you name it, although he doesn't always take advantage of everything. His first year in college was a special program for students who need extra support - didn't seem to help. He is used to a lot of handholding, and seems to be having trouble going it alone, even when support is available if he would just ask. |
OP, I think you have to back up a few steps. Right now the question isn't trade school or college--it's how to teach your kid independence. It's not too late, I'd consider seeking out a behavioral therapist who can help your kid learn to be independent. Then he can figure out his career path/college studies. |
I tend to agree with this. If you think that he has the cognitive ability to be successful in college. Maybe having him take a step back and go to CC at home while working with someone to help him take steps to become more independent. Smaller steps may be the key. First get the hang of going to college at home and only being responsible for college stuff, then once that is set, add in living away from home and having to manage oneself in a dorm type setting. Or taking some time off to let the prefrontal cortex part of the brain catchup. Working while living at home to get the hang of a job first. Then maybe adding a class or two or not. Then moving out when he is more able to take on more responsibility. |
| OP - dad of a college sophomore here with ASD, ADHD and anxiety disorder. Look back in early September for a post I started on difficulties of getting DS out of bed in the morning. First year of college was a lot more difficult than we expected to be. SEcond year going OK but DS uses the disability office a lot. For what it's worth, our psychiatrist usually suggests that Aspergers (ours) kids start with local community college, live at home and go from there. Transitions for LD kids are very difficult. Much more than NT parents realize. |
| How many classes was he taking per semester? |
| Montgomery College supposedly has very good disability services and apparently is one of the first colleges in the country to have them. Surely they have some courses in trades as well (?) where your son could experiment with taking different courses and find something he likes. I heard a radio program on trade careers and how they can be very well-paying and I believe they were predicting a need in certain trades. Good luck. IF he likes building things and fixing things, surely there is work for him. I don't agree that independence is the first goal. Have him come live at home and find his passion and the independence will hopefully follow as his brain continues to mature and he has the motivation to make it work. |
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OP - I agree with Dad's post in many ways whatever the disability might be if a teen "goes off" to college away from home and is floundering which is possible in many areas not just in academics, but also with mental health issues which suddenly arise or become more pronounced, daily living skills without Mom around to handle them, as well as interpersonal relationships. Always remember there is "no timetable" to completing one's education etc. - I would really consider having him reduce his course load to finish up the classes he is likely to complete with accommodations in place this semester and withdraw from the rest. Or possibly just withdraw from college at this point if he is really struggling so that failure and struggles need not be compounded. Then it is time to take a break from the school he has been floundering at for three years. - I would suggest going to the local Department of Aging and Rehabilitative Services - DARS - (Formerly Department of Rehabilitative Services or DRS). Your son would be eligible for an assessment - at no charge - to see if he qualified for DARS services. The assessment would give him/you an indication of how his skills, abilities, aptitutdes and interests come together in terms of vocational options. This would at least be another piece in trying to find an appropriate employment related program for him be it at a community college, local four year institution or technical training school. If he qualifies for services, then it may also be a great resource to help him find a job while he takes a break from school to see what the world of work is like and to develop some of the "independent life skills" he seems to be lacking in or struggling with. - A local community college is also an excellent resource which may provide a wide degree of flexibility: a- In your son's case, a counselor could review the course work he has already completed in college to see how many credits would transfer towards an Associates Degree now or in the future. This may well help build your son's confidence that at the appropriate time he could return to school in a degree program. b- This information would also serve as credits already accepted which might with course work completed there be transferred automatically to other four year colleges based upon certain criteria. c- For the present, the community college might well contain "Workforce Centered" non-credit Certificate Programs which might build upon your son's interests and abilities to prepare him for a job which in the long term is a very important consideration. Or at the community college he would have the ability to go part-time and pursue unpaid internships, volunteer or part-time work in an area of interest to him. The key is there is no pressure to finish a program by a certain date and there is the option for part-time course work and also combining in-class and on-line classes. - It will also be equally important that you get your son referred to the appropriate therapist/medical doctor who can help assess whether he might need medication or a change in present medications and/or some counseling. Counseling at this age can really involve so many things - specific mental health issues, but also just future direction angst, personal relationships, breaking family ties and forging ahead. - Home/Family Roles need to change in terms of addressing him as an adult with adult responsibilities for his daily life. Within a reasonable, but short amount of time, he needs to have a routine in place if he is living in your home of a mix of going to school, working, volunteering or participating in unpaid internship experience. Additionally, he will be responsible for his laundry, care of his room/bath and handling , prep of some of his meals, his finances. Once he has a job, it also needs to be established what it is fair for him to contribute as "rent" (which you might keep for him for future move.) Whatever other kinds of decisions will help him to be more independent can also be undertaken such as what and for how long you and DH are willing to finance his education. I think you realize it is not just about his struggling with different college programs that need to be addressed to help him to become a responsible, independent young adult who is able to work and support himself. |
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OP, I know advice for you will be all over the place. We are all commenting on what we know. And if it doesn't help you specifically, maybe it will help another reader?
What type of college does he go to? I suggest state U's where credits can easily transfer. How many credits per semester? I recommend 12. Dropping classes should be OK - Ending a semester w/12 may mean starting with 16 or 18 credits. Student "trys-out" the schedule, drops a class or two early, or even takes a "WP or WF" if necessary. Classes can be retaken, grades can be replaced. See if the college has any "General Studies" major that can be completed with the random classes taken. If the college hasn't "kicked" the student out yet, for academic reasons, they are still being "successful enough". It only takes a 2.0 to graduate. OP, again not saying this advise if for your son specifically, but may help someone. |