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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - I agree with Dad's post in many ways whatever the disability might be if a teen "goes off" to college away from home and is floundering which is possible in many areas not just in academics, but also with mental health issues which suddenly arise or become more pronounced, daily living skills without Mom around to handle them, as well as  interpersonal relationships.  Always remember there is "no timetable" to completing one's education etc.

- I would really consider having him reduce his course load to finish up the classes he is likely to complete with accommodations in place this semester and withdraw from the rest.  Or possibly just withdraw from college at this point if he is really struggling so that failure and struggles need not be compounded. Then it is time to take a break from the school he has been floundering at for three years.

- [b]I would suggest going to the local Department of Aging and Rehabilitative Services - DARS - (Formerly Department of Rehabilitative Services or DRS).  Your son would be eligible for an assessment - at no charge - to see if he qualified for DARS services.[/b]  The assessment would give him/you an indication of  how his skills, abilities, aptitutdes and interests come together in terms of vocational options.  This would at least be another piece in trying to find an appropriate employment related program for him be it at a community college, local four year institution or technical training school.  If he qualifies for services, then it may also be a great resource to help him find a job while he takes a break from school to see what the world of work is like and to develop some of the "independent life skills" he seems to be lacking in or struggling with.

- A local community college is also an excellent resource which may provide a wide degree of flexibility:

a-  In your son's case, a counselor could review the course work he has already completed in college to see how many credits would transfer towards an Associates Degree now or in the future.  This may well help build your son's confidence that at the appropriate time he could return to school in a degree program.

b- This information would also serve as credits already accepted which might with course work completed there be transferred automatically to other four year colleges based upon certain criteria.

c-[b] For the present, the community college might well contain "Workforce Centered"  non-credit Certificate Programs which might build upon your son's interests and abilities to prepare him for a job which in the long term is a very important consideration. Or at the community college he would have the ability to go part-time and pursue unpaid internships, volunteer or part-time work in an area of interest to him.  The key is there is no pressure to finish a program by a certain date and there is the option for part-time course work and also combining in-class and on-line classes.[/b]

- [b]It will also be equally important that you get your son referred to the appropriate therapist/medical doctor who can help assess [/b]whether he might need medication or a change in present medications and/or some counseling.  Counseling at this age can really involve so many things -  specific mental health issues, but also just future direction angst, personal relationships, breaking family ties and forging ahead.

- [b]Home/Family Roles need to change in terms of addressing him as an adult with adult responsibilities for his daily life.[/b]  Within a reasonable, but short amount of time, he needs to have a routine in place if he is living in your home of a mix of  going to school, working, volunteering or participating in unpaid internship experience.  Additionally, he will be responsible for his laundry, care of his room/bath and handling , prep of some of his meals, his finances.  Once he has a job, it also needs to be established what it is fair for him to contribute as "rent" (which you might keep for him for future move.)  Whatever other kinds of decisions will help him to be more independent can also be undertaken such as what and for how long you and DH are willing to finance his education.

I think you realize it is not just about his struggling with different college programs that need to be addressed to help him to become a responsible, independent young adult who is able to work and support himself.

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